So if you have been following this blog at all, what you know about me is that pretty often I get stuffed with words and stories, many of them quite boring (but whatever). And I have to cough them out of me. I need things to do with my hands. I need to see tiny and larger stresses in print and out. That makes them smaller somehow. Don't ask how. But it does. I like to see tiny and larger successes in print and out because that makes me smile. Ask me why. Do not ask me to make sense of my free writes. Please do not. Please just let me blah blah all over this page.
As if you have a choice about what I do.
1. My phone is off. That sucks. It sucks that my phone is off. But the tiny cool thing about my phone being off is that I get to remember that my life and my whole world does not fold into itty bitty confetti pieces and flush down the toilet because I don't have my phone. Remembering aside, it sucks, still.
2. I went to the DMV today to pay my registration and get my tags. I had $700 and my fees came to $529 and I gave the clerk $530 and when she didn't give me my $1 I was lowkey mean mugging her like yep, you forgot something. Judge yourself. AND I had to get a smog check this year and who has time for that? I went to get it checked and the guy told me that because my check engine light was on the car automatically would not pass. High five to him for telling me before he did the test because I would have had to pay the $55 even if the car did not pass. That would have what? Sucked. So now I still don't have tags...or the $529 I gave the DMV. But it's cool because at least my registration is paid for.
3. Went to Jiffy Lube on some Yo, what can we do about this engine light situation? He was all Sure, Ma'am we can check that out. I don't mind being called Ma'am. Ma'am me and give me some good news. But he told me that my car needed maaad work and gave me a grocery list of codes to give to my machanic then frowned a little bit when he said the part for one of the repairs needed is gonna cost about $400. I said thank you and folded the paper and put it in my Ma'am purse and drove off.
4. This is not bigger that I. This is just money. This is just a car. This is just a car that I need to get to everywhere I go. Most importantly to get to Bakersfield to get my son. Bakersfield is three hours away. This is still not bigger than the gigantic woman I am. This is just this.
5. Watch me not stress about this.
6. In other news, kinda, when I looked at myself in the window at the DMV I had an awful moment (moments really) because the only thing I saw was a woman I wanted to fix. A woman who would be beautiful if...
7. Then I changed my mind! Because I get to do that. And I saw a beautiful woman who I would want to be or at the very least, be great friends with. And that made me happy. And in the space of that happiness I was able to be a blessing to an old man who really appreciated my assistance.
8. Because THAT'S who I am.
9. Red Stories is this Sunday! And THAT'S who I am too!