Monday, May 8, 2017

Free day

Today I am not depressed. Not lost under a mound of covers and life too demanding wondering if I will have will enough to survive. Not longing for death or poison or pills or gun. God please bless my soul.
Today I am at the beach. Walking on this overcast day. I sipped the sun through a straw. The sadness may return but today I am here. I am enough. A freckled freak show. A beautiful. Today I am a palm tree. A flower. A flame.
Today I am thankful for those who held my head ...when I couldn't lift it to sky. For those who prayed for me when I could not breathe for myself. For the calls the words the love. Today I am a butterfly. A glass of Merlot. Today I am rent paid. A Christmas tree. A new red journal. A pen. I am car washed and floor cleaned. I am dishes put away. Don't come for me. You are not ready. I am a poet.
Today I am Tupac and Mahalia Jackson. I am the blues. Bless this bipolar heart. Bless this lithium this lorazapam this prozac.
Today I am a wish. A ready. A still. A story. A flicker. Pray saints. Hold your hands my way. That should the clouds form again I will live to see another day.
Today I am a whisper. A kiss. A tongue. Today I am a breast being sucked. A haircut. A pedicure. Today I am a green light. A hoodrat a queen. Today I am black thongs and matching shoes. Today I am in these streets trying to function. Today you can't tell me nothin'. Wipe your shoes before you come past my door.
There are days I doubt I will see the next but today I am a forever. A tattoo. I am a knowing. A rock. A river.

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