Monday, December 19, 2011

Hospital waiting room again

I'm at the UCLA Harbor General Hospital. Fibroids. Again. My stomach felt like it was on fire last night. Crazy cramping even an hour after the codine pill. Woke up this morning and the tumors were bleeding. I need to just suck it up and have the surgery. It's not the surgery as much as it is the recovery time. But here I am, getting the process started to get this over with.

Had to say a prayer for the day before I left home because who knows what a day in the waiting room at any county hospital could look like. So far so good though. Stopped at the Rite Aid across the street to get a notebook because well... who am I without one. Had to park pretty far though but that's ok. Borrowed a pen from the security guard and now it's on.

Just heard my name called.

She put the band on my wrist and I'm back sitting down. Returned borrowed pen and found one in my bag. Cool.

It's not as crowded as I thought it would be. Hopefully I will get called soon.

I called out from work today. I didn't want to do that. I really love the client I work with. I'm super happy I left the agency and got this client. Easier and much more pleasureable all the way around. Actually a few areas of my life are much better.

Just heard my name again.
Getting my vitals taken.

Back in the waiting room. So yes, the biggest changes in my life happen to be the areas I'm most private about. As far as the blog is concerned anyway. Work and love. Love especially. Still getting used to it really. Being this comfortable. Loving this love. Thank You, God! Thank You! Thank You!

We are the 99 percent
these black and brown
these white and old
these young and thin and
fat sickly and happy
waiting for our names to be called

Wendy Williams on TV
Access Hollywood at the other end
Indian doctors wisk by
with clipboards
with pen

Lopez ventanilla dos!
Robin Reed!
Robin Reed?

Urine test. Before they can send anyone to OB-GYN clinic they have to make sure the patient isn't pregnant.

CNA: Ok, you have a 2:00 appointment at the OB-GYN clinic but try to be there by 1:30.

Me: Ok, thank you.

At the OB-GYN clinic window. There are about twenty people in the waiting area. There is a red box for patients to take a number but the clerk is sitting there and I don't hear numbers being called so I went up to the window.

Old black man: Um, excuse me now. You 'posta wait yo turn. Thas ma wife over there. We number 33.

Me: Oh ok. Sorry.

Receptionist: Number 35?!

I'm next.

So here's the thing about journaling in waiting rooms. Someone sits down next to you. I don't like that because even if this lady with the blue jacket to my right (yes you) isn't reading what I'm writing, it feels like it. So it's the same thing.

The codine I took this morning is wearing off.

The waiting room has greatly filled up. There are about sixty people in here now. We are in three different sections and there are three seperate walkways feeding to and from this area. It's getting pretty busy. I'm glad I came when I did.

Receptionist: Number 63!

The woman sitting across from me is eating a chilli cheese burger from Fatburger. This whole section smells like a Fatburger kitchen. I guess what's interesting about her eating that here is that it's food like that that has us here in the hospital waiting room.

Receptionist: Number 77!

Robin Reed?!

I couldn't find which door she was calling me from. By the time I did (a whole forty seconds later) she called someone else.

Me: I'm Robin Reed.

CNA: You have to wait until I'm finished with her now.

A simple "Robin Reed door A" would have prevented this wait.

This waiting room is right next to the elevators and everytime the elevator doors open it causes the loudest squeek an elevator door can make. Seriously somebody, put some grease on those doors!

CNA: Robin Reed!

Blood pressure, weight, tempature again. I have got to lose weight. For real. I am 211 pounds now. The heaviest I've ever been in life. Between the weight gain and tumors stretching my stomach it's taking more and more work maintaining a healthy physical self esteem. It's irratating because it's all in my control.

There is a woman in the back waiting room with me who is in a wheel chair. The CNA came in and politely told her that she needed to take the chair. As she (CNA) was helping her into the sitting chair, the lady just went off on her.

Lady: Wait! Don't be rushin' me! I can get up and walk my damn self!

Now how was the CNA supposed to know she could walk without assistance? After all, she was sitting in a wheel chair.

Sitting in the waiting room for my prescription. The byopsy was so incredibly painful! Every uterus exam I take I'm told that my uterus is twisted and pushed back or in some other weird position. Like it's my fault. Like that's the explaination as to why it has to hurt so badly. "Your uterus is like way back there..and it's not in the center so we have to..." Like I'm some kind of freak or something. I am in so much fucking pain right now.

Love just called. His timing is perfect and his name in my phone makes me smile.

Love: You ok?

Me: Not yet, but I will be.

I feel like I have been poked and pulled given a shot in the ass by every possible sharp thing.

Gotta come back in three weeks for results.

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