Happy just because. And for all the reasons.

My client just leaned back in his chair and started clapping. It made me smile because I get it. He has just been cleaned and has a big plate of food in front of him and the happiness just hit him. I love it.

Love. Pumas. Mom.

Shout out to my mom who, out of nowhere, said "I'm going to buy you some shoes" and ordered me a dope pair of Pumas! Hey!

Client. Night. Uraeus.

12:13pm. At work. My client is still asleep. Maybe he had a late night last night.

Had a conversation with Uraeus before I left for work. Not giving out details because it's his story to tell but I just wanted to say that I'm so proud of him. Proud of the man he is growing into.

Happy hair

Sister's. Netflix. Together.

9:43am. I'm in Long Beach at my sister's place. I came here last night after work. Well, after work I took a drive down to the beach and looked at the houses and water and people. Then came to my sister's house. I'm glad I did come here because I had a good night with my mother and sister. We stayed up for hours watching Criminal Minds on Netflix. It was special. Mostly because it was just the three of us. Even if we weren't doing anything but watching a show.

Anyway, today is another work day. I trust it will go well. This client is pretty easy. I wish I could be here for Deja's party though. They are setting up for it now. I'm setting up for work. I hope you have a good day.

Also, I'm loving myself for hanging in there and being really powerful through a really challenging time.

Love yourselves.

Gratitude

I am thankful for this day
For life
For peace
Uraeus
Family
Friends
Work
Food
Transportation
Good mental and physical health
Love
Patience
Art

A reason to be thankful

I just read an article about a man who lived in Guatemala and was recieving death threats from a gang in his area so he came to the US with his son. Last year he and his six years old son were separated and the man faced deportation. After 326 days apart he got to hold his son again. He told him to "take care of himself." His son is going to live with an uncle in Arkansas.

I'm sharing this with because with everything going on with me right now I thank God that I'm not faced with having to leave my family. I thank God that my son is healthy and happy and safe.

There is always something to be thankful for. I am thankful that I am mentally healthy enough to be thankful.

Please send prayers for our brothers and sisters separated from their families who don't know where their loved ones are or when or if they will be together again.

D. Happy. Day.

2:29pm. I'm in Inglewood now. This morning I took Uraeus to my sister's place in Long Beach. My niece is having a going away party this weekend. She's going off to college at CSUN. That's not that far but we won't be able to see her as often as we are used to. I'm very proud of her. I have to work today and tomorrow so I won't be able to see her until tomorrow night.

Good news today. I spoke with my cousin, D. I was glad to get his call. I love him so much. We get each other. I was worried about him last night even after we talked. I feel better today. Actually I feel really good today. Not just about my cousin but in general I feel happy. Also I shipped off a couple of paintings and that always makes me feel good. I'm glad that the weather is perfect. Glad I'm working today. Just...pretty much in a good mood. I need to get some art supplies today but I might have to wait until next week when I have more money to do that.

I hope you're having a good day today too. Love yourselves.

Gratitude

I am thankful for this beautiful day
For love
Shelter
Peace
Food
Money
Uraeus
Dietra
Friends
Family

D

10:05pm. I'm a little worried about my cousin tonight. Praying. Hoping. Trusting.

America

Grandma. Thoughts. Break.

9:49am. I'm at Dietra's today. This morning I helped her get her grandmother ready to go to the center, a place she goes most Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays. She was resistant to everything. To getting out of bed. Going in the bathroom. Doing everything in the bathroom. The bus came while we were getting her together. They were delayed but the driver did wait even though the owner said to leave her.

I'm glad to see the sun this morning. I was having thoughts last night. Getting scared. Thinking too far into the future. I feel much better now. More hopeful. I'm hanging in there. Well, Grandma's safely on her way to the center and now I need a bit of a break before I start cleaning up. Dodrey's party went well last night. The kitchen is a mess, but they had a great time. But a Law & Order break first.  Enjoy your day.

Love yourselves.

Gratitude

I give thanks for this day
For work
Peace
Laughter
Dietra
Friends
Uraeus
Family
Love
Shelter
Food
Car
Breath

Dietra's. Dodrey. Party.

Dietra's youngest son, Dodrey is having a birthday party in the backyard right now. I'm so happy for him. Also, I feel a hundred years old. This generation's hip-hop is not my hip-hop. I get it though. Times change. Music changes. What's important is that they are having a good time. I'm having a good time too.

Gratitude

I give thanks for this day
For ease
For Dietra's wonderful friendship
For Dietra twisting Uraeus's hair
For Uraeus
For Dodrey seeing his twenty-second birthday and being able to celebrate with him
For shelter
Food
Car
Love
Good mental and physical health
For art and poetry
For music and peace
For breath
Sight
Limbs
Touch
For blogging

Dietra. Hair. Birthday.

5:14am. We are just now going to bed. Dietra and her amazing self has been up all night twisting Uraeus's hair. It looks so good! She had to cut it a bit but it's healthy and moisturized and freshly twisted. Dietra is a real friend. Now everybody is super tired.

Today is officially Dodrey's birthday and we sang happy birthday to him. Tonight he is having a party here to celebrate. He is a great man. He's twenty-two now. Uraeus will be twenty-two in November. That's a big deal for a black man.

I'm going to get some sleep now.

Love yourselves.

Freckles on fleek

This

Sold!

Dietra's. Hopeful. Love.

10:18am. At Dietra's. I slept well. I watched episodes of Pose last night on Netflix. I love that show. I want to meet Billy Porter in person. He is so dope and fly and inspiring. Love him. Love the show. I sold some art today and I'm happy about that. I hope to sell more.

Today I'll be in the house for the most part. Tonight I'm going to an appreciation dinner for CLI so I'll miss the Stage.  I'm in the moment and I'm feeling good. I'm feeling hopeful, grateful, patient and love. I feel so much love.

Have a good day today and love yourselves.

Gratitude

I give thanks this morning for waking up
For the weather
The quiet
Uraeus
Dietra and her family
Shelter
Food
Transportation
Clothing
Family
Food
Love

Dietra's. New poetry coming. Blessings.

6:28pm. I'm feeling good. Finished with meeting and errands. Back at Dietra's and feeling good. I got some food in me and that has me feeling a whole lot better.  I was starting to get groggy and down. I felt those feelings coming and got afraid at first. Like,  is this it? Have the clouds formed? Am I going to be stuck in a depressive state for a few days? Thankfully it was just hunger and being tired. Now that I'm full I'm not even so tired. I will get some good rest here. Dietra and her boys are so great.

Other news, I really want to be working on a collection of short stories or a new collection of poetry but I haven't been creating poetry or stories lately. I believe they will come. Lately I have been focusing on editing this blog and updating my story. I don't want to forget this time of my life. I don't think I could. Not if I'm in my right mind. I won't forget. But I wanted to capture the details. The blessings I forget. Uraeus finding forty dollars in his wallet when we really needed money. Mike giving me a Mac after my laptop was stolen. Dietra opening her doors. The time we spent at Michelle's and how generous she was with us. Being able to rent the house in Pomona for the time we did before it got sold. Having money for the inns and motels. Eating every day. There are plenty blessings. This blog holds those blessings as well as harder times, the lessons. We're ok. Yes, we are working on getting our own place but we are living in the moment as well knowing that no moment is forever.

I hope your day is going well also.

Love yourselves.

Meeting. Dietra's.

12:24pm. Went to my work meeting with Mike and Breon this morning. I have some running around to do today. We are still at Dietra's.

Gratitude

Giving thanks for this day
For Dietra
Uraeus
For transportation
For family
For art

Script writing with Mike and Breon

Grow the fuck up

Dietra's

2:20pm. At Dietra's today. Got some good rest. Feeling peaceful for the most part. There is worry there. Uraeus is having a good time with Dietra's sons. They have been hanging out with in the garage/man cave/studio. Yesterday D took them to see a movie while I was at work. Thankfully I'm off today and can get some things out of my car and into the garage. I plan to have a good rest of the day. I hope you do too.

Love yourselves.

Gratitude

Thankful for this day
For peace
Ease
Uraeus
Dietra
Shelter
Transaction
Love

Moving. Dietra's. Ok.

10:06am. Loading car. Spending the next few days at Dietra's. I will head in to work after I drop Uraeus off at her place. I'm feeling ok. Under the circumstances, better than ok.

Love yourselves

Gratitude

I am thankful for waking up today
For Uraeus
For peace and ease in my head
For shelter and transportation
For friends
For love

Me

Money. Work. Birthday.

I got to work early so I'm sitting in the car. I feel better now than I did this morning. I need to sell some art today or earn some money somehow because I need to pay for a couple more days.

I hope work goes well tonight. My client's family will be there too for a little while because they are celebrating his eighty-sixth birthday. That's really cool.

I hope you're well.

Love yourselves.

Manna

I'm feeling better today than I was when I went to bed. Some of the worry and fear are still there but there is hope and hustle and prayer and work. We have enough for today. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

Gratitude

I am thankful for this day
For waking up healthy and sane
For strength to carry on
For a hopeful mindset
Ease
Uraeus
Love

Exactly

Home. Sisters. Hope.

12:29am. I'm home. Well, not home but you get it. I hung out with my sisters tonight.  My chosen fam. I needed this night out. I needed to get away from the fear approaching. The worry. The worry over all of it.  I am feeling it. I don't know where we're going when we leave here. I'm a little scared. Lord I believe but help my unbelief. I'm going to watch a little TV as I drift off into sleep world. I pray hope comes with the sun.

Love yourselves.

Me, Michelle

Through it all

11:18. Breathing through this day. Trying to figure out what's next. It can be scary in some moments. Now is some moments. But I'm breathing through it. Through this not knowing.

Gratitude

Giving thanks today for waking up
For shelter again
Food
Transportation
Love
Uraeus

Listen!

Gratitude

Giving thanks for this day
For Uraeus
Love
Art to send
Books to send
Ease
Peace

Yes. All of this.

The World Stage tonight

What a magical night!  We celebrated and listened to the fathers tonight. Conney, Darryl, Hiram and Peter were on the panel. They shared poetry and talked about their experiences with fatherhood, parenthood, being a son and other life lessons. They blessed my soul. Each one of them. Peter J. Harris was preaching to me. He wouldn't call it that. But that's what he was doing. I posted some of his quotes on Facebook. Maybe I'll put them here tomorrow. Maybe not. I was touched. I'm glad I was there to witness.

In other news, when I went to the car tonight a brother showed me my back tire and how low it was. We thought it might just need some air but when I took it to the gas station I noticed a big nail in the tire. Maybe I ran over a nail parking in that lot behind the Stage. Let's hope that's what happened. I don't want to think someone would do that purposely.

It's 11:58pm and I'm sleepy. Have a good night and love yourselves.

The World Stage tonight

Going to The Stage tonight to listen to and celebrate the fathers!

Sold!

Art. Books. Peace.

11:32am. Still in inn in L.A. Just checked in for two more days. Going to get some art supplies today and send off some books I sold. I'm also in the process of updating this blog. I'm adding titles to all the posts. The thing though is that the blog is ten years old so that's a lot of adding. I want it to look good though. I hope you have a good day today.

Love yourselves

Gratitude

I give thanks for waking up this morning. For Uraeus. For shelter. Love. Food. Peace. Art.

Seriously

Me, Nikki

Me

Queen Socks, Food 4 Thot, me

Me, Paul Maybon, Mayda Del Valle at Da Poetry Lounge

Carla Jones Brown, me

V. Kali, Tchsie Aje, Pam Ward, me

Kamasi Washington, me, Gina Loring

George McDonald, Nikki Skies, Rachael Kann, Spencer Allen, me, Nspire

Nikki Skies, me, Rachael Kann

Me with Charisse

Aja, me, Gina

Eve Ensler, me, Aja Monet, Gina Loring

Me at Rapp Saloon

With Jessica at her feature

With family in Texas

La Palabra reading

Julaynne, Kooki, me, Penelope

Michelle and me at The World Stage

Me at the book signing for 365.2013

Lala, me

Me, Kooki

Me

Me, Kooki, V. Kali

Me, Revirdia

Reading at The Last Bookstore - Carol Ann Perini's booksigning