Thursday, October 29, 2020

Zainabu out

Good morning, everyone. I've been posting in this blog since 2009 and I've decided to say goodbye. Slowly though. If you want to keep up with me, and I hope you do, you can join me over at It's a paid site so you would have to pay every month. You pay as much as you want to pledge. Some folks pay $5 a month and some folks pay $20. I think you can pledge even $1 a month. I give content there not available anywhere. That's where my new poems and stories are. This blog has been a healing space for me for so long but it's time for a new chapter. I might post random musings here but the meat of who I am will be there. Thank you for rolling with me for so long. Big, huge, gigantic hugs. 

Jaha Zainabu

Friday, October 16, 2020


I am thankful for waking up this morning

Thankful for my life

For good food

For peace and ease in my home

I am thankful for Uraeus

For good friends

For family

For my mother and sister

I am thankful for poetry and art

For love in my life

For good mental and physical health

For my limbs

My sight

My new glasses

I am thankful for happiness in my heart

For long rides with friends

For joy

For my home

For all of my blessings

For a good rest last night

For a really comfortable bed

For money in my account

For good company

For good hugs

For every valley

For all of the lessons

For a good bath

For plans today

For all of my customers

Jennifer, me - Leimert Park


Long Beach, California




Things to do

I love making things to do lists. I keep it posted in colored markers in my home checking off tasks as I complete them. Something that I started doing is noticing when certain things that I need to do stay on the list without a check mark too long. If something is there uncompleted for a week then I need to pay someone to do it. This inspires me to get it done or create a job for someone else. The other thing I do on my board is create categories like HEALTH, FRIENDS, HOME...under these I put things you probably wouldn’t see on other people’s list like shower, water, nap, walk...I have lived with depression cycles for a very long time. One of the first big signs that I’m headed into a cycle is neglecting showers. Showers are hard for me when I’m depressed. Getting out of bed is hard when I’m depressed. This might sound strange to some of you but depressed or not there is something really annoying about walking by my board seeing shower unchecked. Sometimes I’m able to make a deal with myself and take a quick shower and then I can get back in bed. That actually works sometimes. Nap is on my list everyday because I also experience manic cycles. The mania is scarier to me than the depression because I have so much energy and I can’t seem to control it. It feels like someone has taken over my body AND THAT BITCH HYPE! Taking regular naps whether I’m sleepy or not remind me to slow down. I put necessary but simple things on my list too like check mail. Some days I’m too overwhelmed or sad or anxious to do anything on my list but the Virgo in me needs at least one check mark so I take myself downstairs to check the mail. If you are a list keeper I encourage you to have fun with your list. Make it pretty. Messy boards don’t make me want to cross tasks off. Include big and really easy things. Again, have fun and get it done. If you can. Mostly, be gentle with yourself.

Walking it out




Tru dat


New work on Patreon

 I have new work at Check me out there. I'm posting poems here. If you want to read new work and see the videos that's where they will be.