Monday, April 21, 2014

NaPoWriMo 2014 - day 21 - To the woman who announced what I should have said in MY poem

Dear, hider in a comment box / who asked you / who wanted to know / where were you when I was living my life / when I needed a babysitter were you there / when I couldn't look at myself in a mirror / did you tell me I was God's art  / were you on my contact list when I was afraid I would take my own life / would you have answered the phone if I called / where were you / what do you look like / what do you sound like / do you ride the bus / have you ever ridden a bus / do you take the 210 down Crenshaw / have you ever offered me a ride / have you ever offered anyone a ride / where were you during my depression / did you sit next to me and hold my hand when the doctor said I was bipolar one / did you look at her funny with me when I told her not to limit me / because I am all the polars / did you kick a pill habit / did you congratulate me when I did / have you ever been awake for three days straight / did you know you were losing your mind / did you get it back / how many times have you had to catch yourself from talking too fast and laughing too loudly at nothing funny / how many times have you had to explain why you were crying for nothing / do you know how good God is / do you know that I know / do your thighs jiggle / do you judge yourself / do you stand in public and tell your stories anyway / are there moments you decide to be as beautiful as you really are / because being beautiful is a decision / loving yourself is a decision / kindness is a decision / patience with yourself is a decision / poetry is a decision / getting out of bed is a decision / love is a decision / work and peace and honestly telling the truth is a decision / knowing that I am wonderful and declaring it so powerfully is a decision / I am wonderful / I am wonderful / I am fragile / I am weak / I am the strongest weak and fragile I know / I am human / I fly / I am fly / I have beat myself up long enough / I have already spent days in bed and couldn't crawl out / getting help is a decision / I own my beauty / I own my self / you are not a part of my story / not this part / this part is about me / embracing me / loving me / declaring myself at peace / in praise / I remember when days were different / I remember the flow of tears / I remember not knowing how it was gonna work out /  I was there when it did / I watched God work God's amazing God's self out in my life / I am finally fine / I am wonderful / this isn't about you

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