It's 5:05 pm and I am at home. I am taking some self care actions by just being quiet and alone and in touch with my feelings. I'm much better today. Yesterday I was filled with anxiety. Had a headache and crazy panic attacks. I read something on Facebook the other day that described my anxiety so well. It said something like "Anxiety is feeling like you have to solve all your problems right now." That's how I felt. Thankfully with the sun came the ability to separate everything I was worrying about and break the mountain down into ant hills. Some things I even realized weren't even worth my time and worry. I'm glad because I need the space in my head for other things. Like art and mothering and life and work and love.
Right now I am getting ready to go to Chicago. I leave in the morning and will be there for the weekend. I'm going to another Womanpreach event. I am so honored to be the artist in residence for that organization. That's another post though. What's on my mind right now is a poem I am trying to write about all of the transgender women being killed across the country. I've read about I think seven so far. One is too many. They are women of color and killed by our brothers. It makes me sick. How can you call yourself "conscious" and "woke" and still be a homophobe? You can't that's how. The poem hasn't formed yet but I'm working on it. I want to read it Friday at the show in Chicago. Right now it's called Chyna Doll Dupree Gibson is the fifth transgender woman killed in 2017 - Say her name. I know it's a long title but that's what it is right now. Gonna get back to work.