Red Stories 5

Red Stories went sooooo well last night. Thank You, thank You, thank You, God! The stories, the place, the vibe, the room was packed, the folks were beautiful. Janet Gonzalez was my guest last night and she was awesome. We began the show by reading each others work. Something I never do. I loved it. Janet had her Mexican fire poetry dripping all over the place! AAAAAWWWWWWEEEEEE! That's me, screaming. Still.

Excerpt from my novella THE NIKEL

Chapter 2

The melodic sound of the rain early early that morning fell on the trees, the roof, against the window, made Obrey think of the rabbit. The crackling thunder brought the desire for warm strong arms around her body and the smell of the empty merlot glass at the side of her bed made it even more tempting. Unlike the strong arms, the pink rabbit was always there. Always. Whether she was moody or not, shaved her legs and armpits and painted her nails or not, had done fifty sit ups the night before or not. It called from the cherry wood nightstand with three deep drawers and a lock that held her journals, secrets, bills, prayers, sketches, receipts, taxes, taxes! She rolled over and pulled open the top drawer and wondered where her favorite vibrator could be, then remembered that she threw it away with the box of silk and cotton scarves Amad had given her. On birthdays, Christmases, New Years Days, apology days, just because days.

She was angry and he would pay. She couldn't remember what the fight was about that day. Or was it a fight? No. It wasn't a fight. Not a fight at all. It was a message. Clear, straight from the trees. Stop fucking with him. Of course messages from Spirit had never come so crass before and maybe this was not from above after all. Still, she would momentairly obey. Who needed him? Red ones, blue ones, white ones. Not the white ones. The white ones too. They were her favorite of all the scarves he had given her because they reminded her of her mother. But they had to go in the box and even the rabbit. Yes, even the rabbit because this was serious and she needed to teach him a lesson. Obrey needed to show him that she didn't want him. Needed to show herself. But that was then. And on that night when she wasn't angry anymore, but missed him in her bed, wanted him there, wanted to talk, wanted to talk and not talk and make up, the rabbit was gone too.

I'm baaaaack

I haven't posted on this blog in ten days. If you are a regular reader of my blog then you know that I am usually much more regular than that. ("It's been a long time, I shouldn'a left you, times up, sorry I kept you..." I couldn't resist throwing in RaKim's lyrics right there.) Anyway, I've been working and have not had my laptop tethered to me as I usually do. So what's going on? Well, my life is going on. There are areas that are working and areas that are not and inside of that I find my own ways to be powerful, learn lessons and hopefully inspire others. Thankfully, through everything, I am on my path. I am living my call.

As far as writing goes these days, I'm mostly inspired by essays. I like the work of essays. With any writing there is always the rewriting and rewriting over and over. Essays give me the opportunity to exercise my vocabulary muscle and use words I don't often use in other work. Although often I fall to my favorite style of country talk, city slick, make up my own words style. Whatever.

So, I started this post to get myself back in the blog groove. I didn't know what was going to come out of my head and through my fingers and here it turns out to be about writing. Go figure. Anyway, check out the essays to come and your comments are always appreciated.

Enjoy yourself today.

The blessings 4

I haven't been able to log onto this blog in a few days. Due to a few reasons: I've been busy and by the time I get to sleep that's what I want to do. For a few hours one day there was work being done on the server. I took that to be Spirit telling me to stay in the moment living my life and being observant to the doors that keep opening all around me.

In the past few days I got a new job and a new performance gig. Both of which I am uber excited about and neither of which I will give details on right now. But know that God is AWESOME and does not show up right on time but is ALWAYS THERE and I see Him when I open my eyes.

I have put it to the test and I promise it works. What my mind is focused on is what has been growing in my life. I look for the blessings and miracles each day and each day they show up. Each day I recognize that the blessings were only waiting for me to acknowledge and accept them.

I know that my life is not about what I do, but how I make room for Spirit to be.

On my path to developing my mind I am intentional about keeping my thoughts pure and not talking or thinking negatively about others. It is a challenge I fail many times in the day. Failing has helped me see how cluttered in the past with judgements and negativity. Judgement is judgement. Yes, even the really nice kind when you say "I'm not trying to judge or anything, I'm just sayin'..." Yes, lose that negativity too.

I am loving me today. Are you loving you?

Agape affirmations

God's universe is a friendly place! I am safe!
Spontaneous goodness flows from my utter reliance on Spirit!
My heart extends through my hands. I am in service to divine love!
High, inspired thoughts of God are the guiding angels on my path!
I am immersed in a field of infinite possibilities and unlimited potential!
Mighty miracles demonstrate through my ever-evolving consciousness!
Gratefully I live these words of truth!
And so it is! Amen!

Agape meditative thought

"Gratitude is the opposite of complaining. Honestly check in with yourself: Is the backdrop of our thinking gratitude - giving thanks for what is - or are you incessantly complaining about what you imagine you don't have and think you should have, or do have and don't want? In your answer lies whether or not you identify more with your true identity as the Self, content inits own being, or if you are stuck in the ego's whining, self-absorbed attachments.

Gratitude rests upon the solid rock of trust, the circle of trust built in relationship with Spirit. We no longer resist what is, or what is not. Ours becomes a life of surrender, loving the Giver more than its gifts. Then we are in the flow of the wa things really are, and God's Life is consciusly our own. Live that!"

Michael Bernard Beckwith

The blessings 3

it was easy
the conversation
connection
the smile

mostly the smile

i like this part
the beginning
the words
sharing
worlds

The blessings 2

Last Sunday Reverdia and I sat in the back room at Vibrations and talked. Shared. We talked about what matters to poets. We talked about words and how we use them and throw them away like they are nothing. Reverdia and I know that they are not...nothing. We made a pact with each other that we would remember to cherish our words and remember that our words produce what is real in our worlds. Especially the words we say about ourselves. For women, I think, especially women who are sensitive about the weight of words and women who use words for a living, the crimes we commit the most often are the lies we tell about ourselves. The way we kill ourselves with our own words. This, I think, is worse than suicide. Because we kill ourselves and then wake up to kill ourselves again.

On this blog I posted a series of posts called bus stories. I even have a new book called My bus stories. Side note, the book is not complete in its most finished form but I have been selling the manuscript. The posts are real in the book. I write about the drama and stories and sayings I hear and see on the buses and trains I take mostly in Los Angeles. There are many. I noticed that keeping the journal of the bus stories made riding public transportation a bit easier. Funnier. I found myself looking forward to the next bus to see what the next drama was going to be. And there was always something. Such is life. Such are our thoughts. What we are looking for usually shows up. So this led me to create the next series of posts that I hope you will read and be inspired by as well. The next series will be the blessings posts. I will rename that eventually because it sounds (very hi pitched voice here) a liiiiiittle bit corny.

In the blessings posts I will share those moments and miracles when God made a way for me when it seemed like there was no way. Those days when The Great Mother gently ushered me out of harms way. Those hours when Awesome Father protected me and opened doors for me that I could not open myself. Doors that were not going to be opened anyway. Sometimes when we are in a pinch, and by we I mean I, we forget that we have been there before. We wonder how we will ever see our way through. Wonder who we can call on. We forget that God has always been there. We forget that the Universe is always in support of our highest good. Always.

I am a list maker. I love lists. Groceries, friends, people to invite to my shows, my favorite whatevers. Lists. I guess this is no different. The blessings series will be me listing, if you will, God's blessings to me. As if I could ever complete it! What this does for me is remind me that He has always been there. Just as the bus stories kept me looking for the next bus drama, the blessings posts will keep me looking for God's next miracle and reminding me that I am always embraced and held securely in Her bosom.

And that's the blessing to share today. The blessing of remembering God's love. I usually wake up very early to start my day. Sometimes I don't actually leave the house until the afternoon but I get up and get dressed because staying in bed is not so good for me too often. You know the saying about an idle mind? Well, yeah. My mind gets bored with too much rest and starts drudging up old conversations and dramas and pieces of my past that are not good for me and from there I can slip into a depression I don't easily come out of. And so, I love myself enough to get up. I love myself enough to remember that I am made in the image of God. A God who loves me. Who KNOWS me. A God who sets my mind on the right path. Yes, that's the blessing to share. I woke up this morning in my right mind. A mind willing and ready to think on goodness. A mind excited about producing love in world.

What's on your mind?

The blessings 1

I was on the plane coming from New York going home to Georgia (when I was living in Georgia.) I didn't have any cash on me and no one was coming to pick me up from the airport. I said a quiet prayer and made a request to God that I get a ride from the shuttle service from the airport to my exit in McDonough for only $20. I knew full well that the fee is usually $80. I said the prayer and rested the in knowing that God is always working everything out for my highest good.

When I got off of the plane I walked over to the shuttle station and the vans and drivers were all lined up. I walked to the first driver and asked how much he would charge me to take me to McDonough. "$80." He told me. I thanked him and went to the next one and asked him. He said the same thing so I went to the next one and asked him. He said, "Well, I don't even go to McDonough." I asked, "Yeah, but how much would you charge me to take me there?" He said, "Weeeelll, I do go past there. I'll let you off at the exit for $20." I thanked him and got on the shuttle.

God is always looking out. Always. I know it.