Friday, May 9, 2014

when getting stuck is not an option
when there is too much to do
where there are too many to love
when my fingers still have to move
when typing is the only solve
when i am always praying
when i am all ways praying
when taking it slow is possible
the only possible
i turn on the computer
to some show ive seen a zillion times
i pick up one something off the floor during each commercial
i think thats a big deal
sometimes mirrors are a problem
there is too often something to fix
then remembering i am not a broken
not a broken
i am a beautiful
a beautiful
a cliche
a cliche
an overused word
and that is okay
because when your fingers need to move
overused words are okay
words from your fingers are better than
words in your head
words in your head are like swallowing knives
doesnt matter the words
even prayers are best out loud
as out loud as possible
and you know you are a poet
and you know the rambling posts are not poems
but they help
the help
the rambling words help you make the bed
they help you count commercials
they help you one by one
and you will be forgiven for badly written musings
people already know
people know
and so what if they dont
and you remind yourself that this is just a phase
that this happens
that this will go away
you will stay
you will stay
you will not go away
not yet
you will not go away yet
you will not go away yet
but this will go away
sleep will come
sleep will come
meds will kick in
kick in
and this is just a name
it is just a name
you are not it
you are not it
you keep reminding yourself
and episodes like this dont happen all the time
but they come
and you are not a bipolar
and a bipolar is not a you
you are not each other
the two of you just are
and you work it out together
and you do what you have to do
and if moving your fingers and typing crazy posts
is what you have to do
then oh well
this is your blog
this is your healing
this is your method
and if this doesnt work
then you will do something else
but isnt the thing doing something
some thing
isnt that the matter
isnt that the point
a poem is not the point
you are the point
seeing tomorrow is the point
and you are two commercials behind
and you will fold two towels
and do something else
something else

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