Me with me part 7

Me- Good morning

J- To you too. Although it’s 1:04. But it’s morning somewhere right.

Me- What’s up today?

J- At work right now. It’s peaceful today as usual. Work is pleasurable. It’s raining today. The kinda rain I like.

Me- So again, what’s up today?

J- Um, I have a deadline to submit an article for an online magazine.

Me- Article about what?

J- How I became a poet.

Me- Did you choose the topic?

J- Nope. But it’s cool. An exercise for me to put on paper the question folks have asked me for years.

Me- So how did you become a poet?

J- Um…

Me- And stop saying “um.”

J- Well, I guess answering why is probably easier than how.

Me- Ok, so why?

J- Pushy pushy. But anyway, poetry was and has been for a very long time the most powerful way for me to use my voice. I have used poetry to love and get it out and protect and defend. Used poetry to remember and remind, to build and tear down bridges.

Me- Give me some examples.

J- Of what?

Me- Of say bridges you’ve torn down and built. What did you need to remember? How did you use poetry to love and what were you holding inside that you got out through poetry? You know, be specific. Isn’t that what you’re always saying in workshops?

J- Good one. Let’s see if I can answer all of the questions.

Me- Well you brought it up, not me.

J- Ok then, one by one. How have I used poetry to love? I gathered up my passion and put it in a ball and took it apart and used words to put it back together. Used words like thread to weave meaning into what I’m saying when I say “I love you.” Used words and poetry to describe the feeling of falling out of hope with folks I have loved.

Me- Ok, and you said you used poetry to “get it out”?

J- Get out the noise in my head. Sometimes I do exercises called freewriting where I jot down the feelings I have inside without trying to make too much sense of them. I write and write and write and think later. Then I go back and look and see that the feelings and thoughts weren’t so jumbled after all. That they just needed to be outside of me so I could see them clearly. Sort of like when you go try on an outfit in the dressing room and you can’t get a good sense of how you look just looking down at yourself and so you step outside and check yourself out in the mirrors.

(We giggle.)

Me- And then you judge yourself for having too much here and not enough there.

J- Exactly.

Me- What have you used poetry to remember?

J- Well the remembering comes out in the freewriting. When I let myself flow things come up I didn’t know were there. Or at least didn’t want to acknowledge where there.

Me- Like what?

J- Stuff. For now just accept that. Gotta go for now. More later ok?

Me- K.