Dear Uraeus

I am sorry that this is the world you get
I wanted a safer place for you

1. I am watching news on ABC
wondering if they are going to say something
about the execution of
Troy Anthony Davis yesterday

Nothing

I am sad for all of us
Weeping for those
who rejoice in any man's death

Justice should look different from this
If it will not be fair
It should at least be sure

Uraeus, do not ride in a car
with three or more black boys

2. I am not ready to write this story about us

There is too much too sad on TV news
I don't know what channel I am watching
As if channels matter

I am too old
too emotional
too sensitive
too hormonal

Too not ready to celebrate
to commerate
to honor
to acknowledge
to look at
twenty years of the L.A. uprising

Uraeus, I hold you too tightly
too often

3. This is a reminder
of burned buildings
bricks through windshields
on heads
looted televisions
Human beings not relating
too many whys

A reminder of our fear
There are triggers all around me

The store clerk following young black boys
down isle three
up five
back down seven

Dearheart, I love you and
will not lose you to this foolishness

4. I cannot pray for my son
without praying for myself
for my fear
the fear I inherited from my grandmother
and her mother
and hers
all the way back to
wrinkled red clay gold
blueblack woman
heard her boy was gone

The stories keep coming
One black boy after another

Beloved, I will not rear you with my fear
I will not rear you with my fear
I will not rear you with my fear

I am reminding myself

5. We scrub blood stain out of concrete
Tomorrow we will get her through tomorrow

Let our communal love
be enough to carry her
through the night

These mothers
Tre'von's
Oscar's
Amadu's
Emmitt's
Sean's

What will we have left of him
if we wrase the blood stain
We scrub and we are afraid
girls will skip rope
boys will bounce balls
not remember his name
and his name
his name

Our heads over red bucket
filled with tears
with pinesol
amonia
with bleach

This should be no parent's lot
This is the rainbow
Ntozake called enuf

Love, Mom