Back in the saddle

12:52am. Home. Long easy day today. Was super excited and a bit hyper. I'm watching myself and being careful. The happy hyper creep up is tricky. Loving myself and being gentle with myself and everyone around me. I'm kind of in that space, that's totally different from the depression. That o how I love every single thing space. That's ok though. To love every single thing? When I'm down I cry over every single thing. This...this feeling is just, well...fair.

I worked from 2 to midnight tonight, er...last night. I'm nowhere near sleepy. It's so quiet in here. I have a long day ahead tomorrow too. Up early to finish a project then to work til midnight again. That's ok though. It's all fine by me.

I'm just talking here people. You know me by now. Just emptying words from my head, lest I toss and turn all through the night. I get antsy. I get not sleepy for too many nights in a row. In the past this kind of up was my cue for pills to sleep. I'm doing this different thing now. It's not easy. Sometimes I win. Sometimes I don't.