Thursday, December 3, 2009

My friend Rachel McKibbens' cranberry sauce receipe

(Don't say I never gave you nothin')

1 pkg. (12 oz) actual cranberries
1/2 c. orange juice
1/2 c. water
1 c. packed brown sugar
1 granny smith apple or whatever (chopped into hash-like bits)
1 cinnamon stick (or you can just dump in some regular cinnamon, to taste)
an orange
a cheese grater, or zester if you're a dork

in a medium bowl, mix all the shit I just wrote, except, of course, for the cinnamon stick, orange and cheese grater and/or zester.

pour it into a medium saucepan over high heat. grate the orange over the stuff, making sure you're only getting the ORANGE part of the peel, don't get the nasty ass bitter white part.

grate the cinnamon stick as well. or, dash the fuck out of the sauce with some regular old cinnamon. mix around until the smell punches your babymaker. once it starts boiling, reduce heat and let simmer for about 10 to fifteen minutes. do some sit ups to pass time.

put your finger in the burning glory, tasting to see if it needs more sugar. it's gonna be tart, but it's also gonna be the realest shit you'll ever smear onto a biscuit, bootie or turkeymama.

remove from heat and let it cool off to room temperature. cover and put in the fridge. chill for however long (the longer the better for coagulatory purposes)

this is about 12 helpings.

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