Virgo horoscope today

Discussions with friends or colleagues about possible future business enterprises could find you taking notes, Virgo. Your natural meticulousness should serve you well. It will be important to have accurate records to discuss later. Any new project begun now is likely to succeed, especially if writing, speaking, or another form of entertainment is involved. Don't worry about possible failure.

Red Stories day!

Good morning everyone! I am up, happy and excited. Some reasons that I will not name here and also because today is Red Stories day! Yaaaay! I love show day. I have a lot of work to do but it's work I enjoy. Gotta get to it and I hope to see you tonight.

Oh my goodness!

Reading through my old poems is such a trip! I was so angry! It's true, the energy you put out comes back to you. I look around and I get angry about how judgemental people are and wonder why they don't just allow others to live their lives freely and I see myself, my yesterday self and I was the same way. Angry, judgemental, self righteous.

It's also true, when we know better we do better. We think better. We pull better to ourselves.

Those days

I am at my mother's house today and found an old journal in the garage. Wow! I will post some of the entries and they are interesting. If they were photos they would show my fresh bald cut, yes even back then, dashaiki and jeans (almost always), black power fists, yeah, all that.

The entries are from late 1993 to 1994.

It's almost time for Red Stories 4

Today I did what? What? More promotions for Red Stories. I should write a reality show called Jaha's World where I have a camera with me all on the bus and whatchin' me slang cds on paypal via Facebook. If I really had a hidden camera on the bus it would be uber funny, but I wouldn't want to do that to my bus peoples.

It's almost time for Red Stories 4 and I've been promoting a lot. I'm getting confirmations and I really hope the show and turnout is great. Each month I learn more and more to make the next one easier. I'm paying attention to the lessons and the shows are getting easier. I just have to stay on top of the promotions. Every single day. Seriously every hour.

Today I had a photoshoot with Alice The Poet. I just love her so much! Talk about a peaceful, beautiful spirit! I had one idea about the shoot and she had another. She's the customer so she one, but she did agree to my idea for some other time. I'm hopeful. She wanted outdoorsy, jungle, natrue feel. That's usually what I like too but with Alice I wanted to do some black and white shots of her in her home. Plants, those long beautiful locks, her watering her plants, cooking, being the nature lady she is. But the shoot was easy. That was my main goal. When she told me that she wasn't used to taking pictures I knew that's what I wanted for her. Easy.

I had the perfect spot in mind. I called Tatiana and asked her if I could shoot in her backyard and Sam called me back and said "I heard you wanna kill somebody in my yard?" Love it!

The yard was perfect. I don't know names of flowers and plants and trees but they were all there. Pink, purple, green, blue. Lovely. It was my honor to do the shoot with her today. If you're reading this, Thank you Alice, I love you!

Now the fun part, editing.

A lot going on this week. Rent. Red Stories. Other stuff.

Virgo horoscope today

Reconnect with your self-worth today, Virgo, and say out loud, "I am awesome!" You're good at extending your heart to others and helping them with their issues. Now take some of that love and caring and focus it on you. Issues having to do with love and romance are of primary concern. You should take time to evaluate where you are at this stage and nourish this part of your being.

How are you using your words?

So yesterday I was visiting my family in Long Beach. I was walking out to my sister's car when I heard my mother's neighbor and a long long time family friend call to me. "Robin!"

"Hi there!" I answered.

"You gittin big." She replied. Now, she is my grandmother's age so I didn't say anything to her except smile. Then she kept looking at me. So I looked back at her. With the same smile, like, "What?" but I didn't say anything. Then when I noticed she didn't say anyting I said, politely, "Umm, should I say thank you?"

"No. I'm just sayin'. No harm meant."

"Oh, ok." And I went back into the house.

My sister gave me a ride home to Los Angeles last night and I told her about that incident while we were riding. I told her that it was interesting that I never, and if there has ever been a time then I don't remember it, say things like that to people. Yet, folks are very comfortable saying whatever to me. My clothes, art, weight at whatever stage. Growing up until my very late twenties I was very thin and folks had stuff to say about that. At this stage in my life I am curvy and LOVING it and folks have their comments about that. Oddly, the people who judge what I wear, look like, sound like, are never the people I want to look like, sound like, get down like.

My point here is this, use your words to uplift. Think about what you say to people before you say it. I don't let people leave my day without complimenting them. Maybe it's weird, maybe it comes from feeling judged most of my life. But...I want people to know, that if no one said to them today, "you look beautiful" I want them to know that they do.

Back to my mother's neighbor, I honestly don't think that she meant any harm. We very very rarely see each other and she only remembers me as being very thin and out struts these thighs and this butt...Hey. I acknowldege myself though. The old me, a me few years ago and Robin for sure would have made some joke about myself, we would have laughed and I would have gone back in the house. And I would have been angry at myself for making me small. I will not apologize for being any of who I am. I am a beautiful, awesome reflection of God's love and am a blessing to this planet. I will honor myself as such and I honor you as such.

Poetry tonight

I went to the World Stage tonight in Leimert Park. "The Stage" is the place I call my poetry home. I enjoyed each segment of the evening starting with the workshop where we present new or unpolished pieces and get feedback. After that there is usually a featured poet. Tonight the feature was Romus Simpson! I haven't seen him in so long. He moved up to the Bay but I'm glad he's back now. His poetry was just amazing. I am often moved at the awesome talent of folks I know. Thank You God for Romus Simpson. After the feature is the open mic. I enjoyed each person who blessed the open mic tonight! Thank You God for poetry houses in Los Angeles to sell cds. Every night. Really God, thank You.

Red Stories 4

It's almost that time again! Red Stories 4 is coming up on Saturday, April 30. The guests this month are Lynette White (singer) and Reverdia (poet, storyteller). I am so looking forward to sharing the stage with these beautiful and talented artists. The show will be at Vibrations 2435 Manchester Blvd, Inglewood, CA at 7pm. $20 at the door and $10 advance tickets (paypal to jahazainabuphotography@yahoo.com). I look forward to seeing you!

Poetry Lounge last night

I went to the Poetry Lounge and had a good time. I performed and watched others perform. I saw a lot of folks I've never seen before. I had a great time catching up and laughing with some other old schoolers. I'm always laughing with Shihan (at very inappropriate times), chatted with In-Q (who has a one man show coming out next month, yaaay!), Damon, Ty Scott was the feature (been way too long since I've seen her), Javon, Cayenne was there selling her fabulous earrings. The list goes on. All in a days work.

Then I got on the bus and went home.

Post from Hannibal Tabu

I’ve had some interesting chances to consider appreciating people. The legendary Dwayne McDuffie, best known for his work on animated shows like Ben 10 or Justice League passed away, and I realized I never let him know how much I appreciated him while he was here. A young woman I know, someone I worked with and who dated an associate of mine, a bubbly and indefatigable spirit, took her life at age 25, shocking literally everyone who knew her.

Marvel editor Tom Brevoort has been spearheading a hashtag called #whiletheylive on his Twitter feed, to not wait so long and let people know how much they matter pre-humously. It all reminded me how I started writing pieces to honor poets around me who really mattered, who really deserved to be celebrated and never forgotten. I’ve had this first line for maybe nine years, but now I finally have made it into a tribute that I hope is worthy of her (before, of course, I get a chance to workshop it, as we believe in the importance of qualified peer review).

Without further ado …

She is leading edge to thunder.

Blunt impact of sky rolling across foundations,
her voice heralding revelations.

Headwrapped or fresh shaven,
decked in fatigues or immaculate in white,
she’s elected representative
of hoodrats who know they can do better,
brush stroking kaleidoscopic intimacy on to canvas,
capturing vibrancy on SD cards
writing her way into forever.
Gestures fill sky with rumbling as she goes.

One sleepy-eyed neck roll
turns down home grandmomma sayings into sanctity.
Can’t call her that
high school yearbook name,
woman she is don’t fit into
that child’s painted on, switchin’ ass jeans.
She heralds Wiz musical brand new day,
Choreography
and everything.

When clouds roll and thunder approaches,
I ain’t scared.
Storms signal tomorrow,
getting ready to grow,
Jaha is their poster girl.
Sure as throwin’ chicken bones on a hundred bucks,
Sistergirl struts ahead of cumulonimbus
in all of the goodness of being all good.

“While They Live: Jaha Zainabu”
By Hannibal Tabu

The weekend

So, Friday it was very hard for me to move. Emotionally it was a challenging day. I get that way sometimes. I don't stay there though. I will allow myself a day, maybe two, but then it has to stop. I got up Saturday morning and went to my niece's soccer game. Well, games really because she actually had three games in one day. What's that about? But I went to all three and had a ball. I cheered, yelled at the kids on the other team (that was fun), was cold, had a ball and spent some good time with my sister and niece. AND got my butt up out of the bed!

Saturday night was Grooveology, the party I shoot (photography) for the second Saturday of every month. I had a great time there too. There were so many people from Long Beach I reconnected with. A classmate of my sisters was having her birthday party there. Also, we shared the night with Chuckie Miller, another promoter who is from Long Beach and General Lee was the other dj for the night. Where Chuckie Miller and General Lee are, there are usually a lot of folks from Long Beach. We had a ball! Which reminds me that my work for the party is not over. Now I need go through and edit all the photos. That's fun too though.

Yesterday (Sunday) was my first day as a member of The Bomb Squad! Sooooo much fun! The Bomb Squad is a radio cast of six funny, intelligent, crazy folks who talk about a wide range of topics on the air for thirty minutes. We taped two shows yesterday. Michelle, the creator of the show, labeled me the mind sex therapist, which is what she calls my poetry, "mind sex" haaaaaaa! So in addition to being crazy with the cast I had my own segment of the show called of course, mind sex.

After I left the station I went, flew as fast as I could really, to Bryant Temple where I performed for their Second Sunday Jazz Vespers. I don't know what a vesper is right now but I like that title. The show was so awesome. God is sure listening to my prayers because I prayed to be a part of shows that I want to see. I would have paid money to see the show last night (if I wasn't in it).

The show started with the minister introducing the evening then talking about The World Stage. I forgot to say that. The World Stage partners with Bryant Temple for this monthly event. Anyway, Michael Datcher was the mc for the night. Jolandra was the first performer. She came from the back doing a beautiful, exciting dance then ended her performance leaving the church. And I think she really did leave because I didn't see her after that. She was great though. After that Jwanzaa and Sheri Randolf performed poetry with the band. Oh, the band was perfect. Trever Ware and company. Jwanzaa and Sheri's performances were so moving. The crowd was up on their feet as they left the stage. Then Michael brought up Hilliard Street to do a solo with his guitar. Hilliard's voice is so clear. It's like water. While he was playing I kept thinking of him singing and playing at some famous art gallery or something. I don't know why, but I did. After Hilliard Michael introduced Conney Williams and me. Conney went first then me, then Conney again then me. The crowd loved it. I did too! Then all of us did one last piece each. Jwanzaa started the round robin and I closed. The crowd had a great time and so did all of the performers. What a blessing! What a weekend.

Interesting horoscope for Virgo today

Think of yourself as a great pioneer crossing the frontier for the first time, Virgo. Acknowledge yourself as the important person that you are. Believe in yourself and your rights and opinions. Indecision could hinder your actions. Don't let it. Take an active stance at all times. Be brave in the face of hardships that you might confront today. You will be greatly rewarded when you do.

Not today

I couldn't do it today
Answer the phone
Talk to anyone
Didn't take a shower until 8pm

I read
Slept more than is healthy for me

Maybe tomorrow
Not today though

Tonight

Tonight I performed out in Pamona. I performed during the open mic and had an amazing time. The room was hosted by Judah 1 and the feature tonight was Janet Gonzalez. She was so so so so great. I invited her to be a guest on Red Stories 5 in May! She accepted and I am so looking forward to it.

I'm back on the move selling cds again. I love it. I really love this cd. It made me feel good last night when Gimel played my cd at the Lounge between the poets.

I have a lot of work to do this week with Red Stories and other things. I know I need to start getting to bed earlier. I haven't been. Gotta do better.

The night

Just getting in. Went to the Poetry Lounge tonight and was soo blessed by the poets. The whole evening was a blessing. The open mic, the features. Oh my goodness the features! Ainsley was there and so was M Reld Green. It was my first time seeing and hearing M Reld Green. She was so powerful!

After the poetry I went with Spencer to The Comedy Store. It was a great night there too. I laughed like I haven't laughed in a long time. Poetry and laughter were truly the doctors for the soul tonight.

Notes on Mr. Past (from journal 04-01-11)

I am happy and thankful to see another day. I was reading my friend, Kim's book last night and this morning. ME INSIDE OUT. It's about how we let the past stay in and dictate our present. We let the past tell us how life is going to go and how we are going to feel each day.

For me, Mr. Past (a character in her book and in many of our lives) starts early with his conversations. Mr. Past reminds me early in the morning about something someone said or did to me that made me feel really bad. Then it takes me a minute to get over that. But today I recognize the tricks of Mr. Past and I'm not gonna fall for them. I see the pattern. He tells me or reminds me of something negative so that I will get stuck in that thought or memory all the while I'm not moving forward in my day doing what God has given me to do now. Not today.

I forgive the folks connected to the memories that pop up. I forgive myself for being connected to them as well.

Just thinking

I went to the dollar store and there was this young woman there. She was about in her mid to late 20’s and was talking loudly and cursing a lot. “Where’s the muthafuckin’ this and the muthafuckin’ that?!” The man who worked there seemed to be attracted to her and she seemed to be flirting with him in a way. I thought about how quickly we judge each other without knowing why others do what they do.

I would have been one to quickly judge that woman. Sometimes, often really, we have certain behaviors to protect ourselves. The store is in a neighborhood in South Central Los Angeles. In that area, that sista may feel like she needs to portray a rough exterior so that others wont try to take advantage of her. It’s possible that she is rarely outside of that area.

Xxxxxxxxxx

I walked to the store again today. As I walked in there was a young lady who walked in right behind me. There was an Asian woman at the counter. The young (20 something) black woman (who walked in behind me) said in a very fast and mumbled voice, “Ey, yall got any receipt books.” I didn’t even understand what she said. The woman at the register continued helping her customer. Yes, she was busy with a customer.

There was also a black man (40 something) who was working there. The black woman immediately began speaking to him. “Do yall got receipt books? That bitch over there act like she caint hear. I know she heard me ask her.”

I was watching an interview with Erykah Badu once where she was saying something like what artists need to bring now to the world are solutions and not just talk about the problems. I do understand that feeling but I don’t know that I have solutions. But I do see the problems. I see and feel the anger and experience the frustration in breakdown of communication. So, should I not write about our problems because I can’t solve them? That wasn’t an attack on Erykah’s statement, it was a genuine question. Where is the line between reporting experiences, specifically the negative ones, and ranting about situations we can’t or won’t change?’

Regarding the situation in the store, I feel the young lady and the store clerk too. I’ve been the black customer in the Korean shop who gets rude service because, in my opinion, of my skin color. I’ve also been on the receiving end of some young black woman who was rude and demanding my attention regardless of what I was occupied with.

So this is me, just observing the situation, no solutions, just observations and questions. The city, Los Angeles, this area, South Central, is hot with folks carrying anger they don’t know what to do with. The wrong word, the wrong day, people explode. I wish I had the solution. But I don’t. Do you?

Red Stories 3

Red Stories 3 was last Saturday. This was my favorite of the Red Stories series. Although I have love each one of the shows, this was my favorite because this time I let go and allowed a team to really help me with the show and it took a lot of pressure off of me.

This month the show featured Deana Verse, Kevin Sandbloom and me. Deana played a huge role inteh show this month. She created the beautiful flyers, the promotional video, advertized via word of mouth, performed at other venues to promote, created the advance ticket sales online and so much more. I so appreciate her for all of the work she did. She also gave an amazing performance at the show.

It was also a blessing to have Kevin Sandbloom on the show again. Kevin was on the show last month also. On Friday night, Deana, Kevin and I performed as a group at Still Waters. It was a great performance. Socks and Food 4 Thot run Still Waters and are also the owners of Vibrations, the spot where the show was on Saturday.

Saturday night was the largest crowd of the all three Red Stories shows. It was beautiful beautiful all the way around. The place was packed. The folks were lovely. There was wine, juice, snacks, laughter, some crying, more laughing and listening. Really, you had to be there. Even though I had a crazy cold the whole night, I still had a lot of fun.

The next day a woman called me and told me that she was at the show and that she had a really good time. She told me that she enjoyed my "personality." She has a radio show and invited me to try out being a host on her show. She offered me to start that day but I couldn't do it. Mostly because I wasn't feeling well and also I would have been late for the show by the time I got there on the bus and train. I gotta get a car. Seriously, next month for sure. Anyway, she was cool with me declining that day and extended the invitation for a date early April. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm also looking forward to seeing how Red Stories will grow. Month to month I try to see what progress I have made with each show. This month I have a new cd that I didn't have before and I have what I feel is a better location for the show. Better in terms of my relationship with the owners (Food and Socks are like family to me) and better in terms of the comfort of the audience. The restrooms being closer and food and drinks being more available. I greatly enjoyed being at the theatre and appreciate Ron and Richard for opening up the Lucy Florence space to me. I will say that I may see what I can do at their new performance space on Pico some time in the future. We'll see.

Anyway, I chose to rest all day on Sunday and take care of myself. I was tired of the cold I had. The coughing and conjested chest. I have other things to do this week so I took whatever I needed to take (especially rest) to get rid of it. I feel and sound much much better now and am ready to start promoting for Red Stories 4 featuring Reverdia Trammell (poet, storyteller), Lynette White (singer) and me.

Red Stories is the last Saturday of each month so that will be April 30. The show will be at Vibrations again and already I'm looking forward to it. I hope to see you there. Oh, the address is 2435 Manchester Blvd, Inglewood, CA. Now, I hope to see you there.

The Invitation

I was in Pennsylvania one night and couldn't sleep. I went downstairs to get a book to read and as I judged them all by their covers (we don't like to admit it, but we do), my aunt stopped me and said, "Wait,  have you heard of The Invitation?" I had not heard of the book, the author or the poem before and after I read it, I wondered what bed of flowers I had been sleeping under. 

In her book, she said that she came home from a party one night and wrote this at her desk. In the quiet, late at night. I was greatly inspired after reading this and hope that you will be too .

The Invitation
By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool 
for love
for your dreams 
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals 
or have become shrivelled and closed 
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain 
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it 
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy 
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness 
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon, 
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair 
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.