Why? When being up at 2am is more than a choice

why am i up watching pelham 123 for the millionth time?
why am i typing a why poem?
to fall asleep?
freestyle or rewrite?
plastic or paper?
married or single?
black or white?
how much money will i get on tues?
is the check in my mailbox?
find a new home for the dog?
sex or celibacy?
the book or a movie?
did i eat too much chicken tonight?
white wine or red?

am i crazy or not?
what is crazy?
how do you know?
does it matter?
go to bed or keep writing?
does it matter to anyone?

will tigers wife stay?
probably
is the grass greener anywhere?
is greener real?
whats the difference?
fate or choice?
is heaven on earth possible?
hell on earth?

how is john?
why is the check engine light on in my truck?
which poems will i do on tues?
how many books will i sell?
hair or bald?
red or black or gray?
foster?

will my period start tomorrow or what?
cramps or crying or crazies?
or what?
laugh or cry?

where do women tell the stories we need to tell
without black men getting so angry about them?
sometimes the bruises hurt worse than the roses smell good
so?
am i a bitter old woman because i remember?

nappy or straight?
green eyes or brown?
ginger ale or tylenol?
kiss or cuddle?