8:57pm. Home. Been home all day. O Mary, I am in so much pain and have been every waking moment of this day. My tooth is hurting so badly. I was supposed to see the dentist today but her office called me to tell me that something came up and she had to reschedule my appointment to tomorrow! This is awful. Toothaches are horrific. I feel like there is a nail stuck in my tooth and it's pinching a nerve connected to my ear that's connected to something in my head and any moment something is going to snap. Seriously, that's how it feels. I can't sleep. Eating is a joke. I have to keep my top and bottom teeth from touching each other because that touch feels like an electrical fire in my mouth. If I take one more pill I may just overdose.
There is a lesson in this. I don't know what it is but I'm guessing that just being in the moment is the lesson. Every moment I feel like is all I can take and then hours go by, proving me wrong. We are stronger than we think we are when we just stay in the moment. Which really, is all we can do anyway. Be right there where we are. The drama and pain and suffering comes, I guess, in imagining that all of the moments will be as painful as the one we are in, when really, we don't know the next moment. That's my lesson. Being right here. In this second. Experiencing the pain and ease of this second. I'm breathing through it. Breathing.