Tuesday, November 6, 2012

NaNoWriMo - Day 6 - Dear Mary

It's 6:52pm and I am at home. Not feeling a hundred percent today. When I went back to the dentist yesterday she had to file my jawbone that was sticking out! It was so painful. I was on codeine for most of yesterday. Thankfully I didn't have to work. I did work today though and my mouth was so sore the whole time. I didn't want to take anything because it would have made me sleepy. My work is not that difficult but I do have to be awake for it.

I had to get up early this morning because today is voting day. Yes, I voted. I also took my client to go and vote. To me, voting is very important. It's a right we as black people didn't always have. I appreciate that we have it now and I choose it when elections come around. I have a bit of anxiety about this election so I will not watch the blow by blow of how the count is going so far.

I just took a pill and I would love to just lie here and watch TV until I fall asleep. I won't though. I will work more on the photography project and see what happens from there.

Before I forget, I have a correction to make. I told you before that you, Mildred and Bubba were the only ones born in Louisiana but as it turns out, Therman was also born there. Grandmommy and Granddaddy moved west after Therman was born. I didn't know that. See, I learn something about our family every day.

Truthfully, I don't really feel like writing to you today. It's not you, it's me. Like I said, I wanna lie down and go to sleep. I am writing though for a few reasons. I am committed to following through on the NaNoWriMo challenge to write every day. I know that I should write when I don't want to write. I sleep better when I write before I go to bed. Something about getting words out so they aren't on me during my rest. Maybe it's all in my head. Who knows? Please consider this free write my letter to you. I hope you will get something out of it. What I am getting out of writing to you every day is an exercise in keeping my language clean. Even in my free writing. My language is not always clean. I won't give you examples, but trust me. But to you, I cleaned up. I mean I can't be swearing when I'm talking to my aunt can I? Not that you would care. But it's just respect.

I told you that I was on the codeine the dentist prescribed to me yesterday. Well, I have a funny story to tell you about that. I was here alone and felt all loopy and I started to write to you and then I got afraid. Afraid of you. Is that silly? What did you ever do to me? But I was. The apartment was dark and cozy like I like it and I was nice and almost sleepy and in the mood to write, then I had this thought that you were about to start speaking to me. There was even a moment when I didn't want to look in the mirror in the bathroom for fear you would be standing behind me. I told you before that I watch too much TV. Also, remember I was on the codeine. Codeine is medicine that's pretty strong and makes one feel, let's say, nice. I was nice. And spooked. So I didn't write much. I turned the TV on and dozed off until Love came home. I didn't bother telling him.

I am just all over the place right now. This letter may not make any sense today. Forgive me. My rambling. I do that sometimes.

I felt irritated a little bit today. Irritated with a friend. I won't give you the details because, well, just because I won't. It's so nothing but that feeling was on me.

In other news, I love Love. I like him too. Have you ever been in love, Mary? I can't explain what it is. I just hope you understand. Relationships have these phases. They just do. Relationships take work. A lot of work. All relationships. I love coming home to him. I love the space he gives me. I love talking and sharing with him. We don't always have this. We do now, and I love it. I love times like tonight when he is in the other room reading and I am writing and working on some art. It's slightly chilly, my favorite weather. I had a bowl of clam chowder soup, my favorite, and all I can eat with my jaw being crazy sore. Law and Order is on, my favorite. I'm about to be, let's say, nice.

This letter is going to sound rediculous to me later on tonight but oh well. I'm going to get started on my project before I get too sleepy. You enjoy your night, too.

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