It's 11:24 and I'm home. Home sweet home. I spent the day with my wonderful son and family. One of the experiences I cherish the most is watching movies with my family. Your family, Mary. Do you get that these are your people too? These are your faces and voices and opinions too.
I wish I had something profound to share with you today. I don't. But I couldn't go to bed without writing to you. These days at home with the people I love the most have been blissful. I have so much to be thankful for. I know I do. I have things in my life I'm thankful for yes, but mostly it's the people who I call family and friends that have me glowing and mushy and cliche tonight.
Right now my mother, uncle, son, niece, nephew are sitting around watching a movie and laughing. I was there too but had to leave to shut my eyes for the night. These are the times I hope to always remember. These are the moments that feed me when I am starving for something to hold onto.
I wonder what would have made you laugh, dear aunt. What movie, joke, story would have made you cry, remember? If you were here, in the flesh, you would be seventy-five years old now. Seventy-five. Still young enough to tell stories about your yesterday. Old enough to see your children and grandchildren grown. I never thought about that before. I would have grown up with your grandchildren. What would they have been like? What about your children, my aunts and uncles? Do you think about these things? Are these human thoughts too beneath you now? Maybe you had children anyway. Perhaps there is a man who loves you and holds you now and children and grandchildren where you are. Perhaps. You are right, Mary. I don't have a clue.
Last night when Therman, my mother, Love and I were talking, Therman asked an interesting question. He asked if we thought your personality would have been more like Mildred's or Bobbie's. Either way would certainly have been a winner because both women are amazing. Both are creative and kind. Funny and gorgeous. Mildred is more the wife and mother. The nurturer with the quiet but rock strong spirit and the most sincere smile you have ever seen. Bobbie is an awesome woman too. She is bright colors and loud, free spirit. Fancy dresser and bold talker. Your sisters, Mary. Your sisters.
We talked about you. Played guessing games and what if and maybe maybe. I guess we will never know though. But you were there with us. There in our conversation. We love you. We do. In the best way we can. I hope you can feel it. There where you are.