Notes from Grady Hospital

Friday, August 7, 2009 11:25am

I am sitting in the waiting room at Grady Hospital in Atlanta. I am here because I have been experiencing some irregular bleeding. In other words, my menstrual cycle won't stop. Nothing will. Not the tears, the cramps, the sleepy, and most of all, not the FLOW! Been going on since July 12. Some days are lighter than others which is what makes me say, OK, this is the last day of this. But no. This morning I woke up to just too much of it. So here I am.

Actually, what also led me to "here I am" is that yesterday I pulled out a sheet of paper, several really, and made two lists. List A "How I love and honor myself" and list B "Ways I do not love and honor myself." My health care topped list B. While I maintain a pretty healthy diet, I am very slow about check ups and things like that. I am newly committed to impacting that negative conversation in my head that must go something like, "Jaha, you are not worthy!"

And so...

-I was dropped off at the ER and I have just checked in. I am certain that this will be a bit of a wait as Grady is Atlanta's trauma center. It's a Friday, the bikers are having some kinda something in town and well, it's Atlanta.

-I'm watching ER on TNT in the waiting room. I was an extra on that show once.

-I wanna begin reading the David Baldacci book my mother gave me at the family reunion last week, THE WINNER. Therman said it was good too. I'm concerned that reading might make me sleepy and I'm not going to miss hearing my name being called.

-The women sitting behind me are talking about the soap opera, The Young and the Restless.

-Therman and Lou dropped me off at the hospital. I don't know how I'm getting home.

-Most of the people in here are black, women, 29 and older. There is one white guy. Three Mexican women with a baby. One white woman. Maybe eighty people total.

-Pretty good episode of ER. Were Eric LaSalle's and Michael Michelle's characters married on that show?

-I forgot to put deodorant on.

-The woman behind me, the one who knows so much about Young and Restless, just said that she has been here since 8am.

-The woman in front of me has on a cute wig but it doesn't go with the waiting room clothes she has on. Hmmm.

-Some of these women look like they came from the club, except for the flip flops. Have they been here since last night or is club wear what you wear to the emergency room?

-I am cynical and judgmental.

-I don't have cable at home and I like TNT. Trying to look for the positive in this situation.

-The woman sitting next to me wants to know what I'm writing.

-I have a tank top under this shirt 'cause my bras were in the wash.

-My breasts are sagging and I feel under dressed.

-The guy sitting next to me has a white rag tied around his head. Did he lose his memory or is he in a gang?

-Blue acrylic nails are in style again.

-The baby next to me has a honey bun in her bag. It would be wrong to ask for a piece of it. Right?

-The male nurse calling the patients over the page really wants to be a voice over artist. I think.

-If I go to the vending machine would I miss hearing my name?

-I wonder if the woman on the commercial really lost that much weight just using Nutra System. Probably not.

-12:50pm She called my name.

-Got some Cheetos and I'm crunching them too loud for the guy next to me. Oh well.

-The nurse only called me back there to take my vital signs and draw blood. Back in the waiting room.

-3:09pm Waiting to be called to see the doctor. Staying in the moment.

-5:02pm Still bleeding. Heavily. Waiting. I remember why I don't go to the emergency rooms for myself. The nurse who took my vital signs said that they were going to have to connect me to an IV.

-There is a woman on the floor here in the waiting room. She is crying. The hospital staff who walked by told her that someone was going to help her. That was five minutes ago. She's still down there. Not crying loudly anymore. Just, laying on the floor. People are walking past her. I'm no better. I'm writing in my notebook.

-6:31pm Waiting. Watching TNT still. Law and Order. Law and Order...One more law show and I might leave the hospital and go take the BAR exam. Cold Case. Bones. Bones.

-2:10am (the next day) Two hours ago they told me I was next.

-11:00am The nurse called me back to see the doctor.

-11:30am I am back in the emergency room and I am so present to being thankful that I was not one of the ones who had to be seen first. One guy got stabbed in the neck. Another stabbed in the ankle. A motorcycle accident. Another one. Another one. Car accident. These nurses and doctors are working their whole bodies off!

-11:40am Doctor introduces herself to me. Very friendly, especially considering the surroundings. She and the nurse are very patient. I am thankful that they are not rushing me out. They run test. After test. After test.

-2:10pm Medication prescribed.

-2:30pm Dr. set appointment with ob/gyn and said I could go after my paperwork was complete.

-3:03pm Waiting for paperwork.

-3:04pm Car accident. Motorcycle accident. Another one. Another one.

-4:30pm RELEASED!