Release

there are easier friends to have than i
i suppose
more comfortable women to be around
i guess
there is always a younger booty
flatter stomach
more money
better job out there
i reckon

but hearts like mine come few
i know

i will not take on your load of fear and blame
i will find the freedom i need to make peace
with whats so right now

there is too much talk about
what i dont have
cant do
the ecomony and who will be president next

scarcity is a big lie you know
and so i will let you and the others in your ear
live it by yourselves

i was tired anyway
of juggling ponies
and swallowing fireswords
only to your side eyeing
and teetering of your hand
to suggest my missing the mark again

it would be too uncomplicated
for me to play your victim now
i am older than that
i am bigger than you

i was broken when we met
running from some yesterday
and needed a soft place to land
for a time i thought you were that place

and you pretended to be

but the wind from all that running
left me deaf
to red flags waving
and sirens shreeking

i told Spirit i was grown
and i saw what i wanted to see

and She let me

and you did too

so here i am
declaring myself
the source of my own problem
not just you
the yesterdays i ran from
before

i am every liar, cheater, abuser, thief
who has ever sat at my table
drank water from my cup
kissed me between my thighs

and i delete myself
from my molecular structure
and when i forget
the delete button
will be there
again