On love

I wonder sometimes about love
The easy and hurdles
The where and how comes
Baggage and free space
I remember
I remember it all
I'm still standing
I'm still strong

Made it to Atlanta

Yes, I made it here safely! I got in late last night and spent some beautiful time talking to my cousin before showering and going to bed. Tomorrow afternoon I am in an art and photography show with Zenobia. Her work is so fabulous! I am really looking forward to seeing what she's putting out.

After the art show I am leading a writer's workshop downtown Atlanta at the Apache Cafe. After the workshop I am the featured at Apache. Tomorrow will be a busy day and I'm getting ready for it.

Be your best you today!

Moving along

11:40am
Almost in El Paso. Had a great conversation with Aquiah. She told me about a great spa in Atlanta. I knew she would be the one to know.

These two old white folks in front of me are flirting with each other and telling about their lives like this is a first date or something. They are reading scriptures from his Bible. That was cute then she saw the El Paso sign and said "once we cross the border it's a modern day Sodom and Gomorah. Yep, that's how it is."

The journey continues

9:07 am
I don't know where we are but we are leaving there now. The ride is still going well. With the exception of the one lady popping her gum throughout the night the folks have been cool. Even the arguing couple behind me seem to be getting along.

It's really beautiful here. The mountains, blue sky, clouds. I haven't taken one picture yet. Well this is the first part of the daylight trip so I have plenty of time.

When I get to Atlanta I've gotta find a place to go swimming or a hot tub or sauna or something. I've been spoiled by the spas in L.A. I go as often as I can and sit in the hot tub because it's the only treatment that immediately helps my back.

Gotta pull my camera out now because I keep seeing things pass me that I want a picture of.

Going Greyhound

4:17 am
We are pulling out of the Phoenix station. While I was inside charging my phone I saw a man who had just gotten off the bus who was moved to tears to see his sons. His sons were grown men. One son had who I think was his wife with him. The father held them and kissed them and cried. "I miss you so much. I miss you so much." The three men had the same brown face. Same dark eyes, black shoulder length hair, same tears except the father had more.

I wondered where he was that kept him from the men he missed so much. How long were they apart? Was there forgiveness to be asked for and given? How long would they be together this time?

I said a silent prayer for them. I let my heart utter words for them my mind cannot possibly know. I wished peace for them. More happy tears, more happy hugs for them. I was glad I needed to charge my phone.

On my way to Atlanta

I had a very busy day today. We didn't get out of the studio until almost midnight last night so there went my plan to leave for Atlanta yesterday. We did have a productive day though. I'm on the Greyhound now and I'm so glad for the wi-fi new busses! The trip is forty-eight hours so I'll be taking some cool pictures and posting stories. For now though, I'm going to take a nap.

Oh, if you're in Atlanta then come out to Apache on Sunday night where I'll be performing.

7:26 pm
We left Los Angeles at 6:30 and now we are stopping for a 20 minute break in San Bernadino. The couple behind me keep arguing. I hope they work it out soon. I want to turn around and say "look, she said leave her alone already!" But I don't see that going well.

I'm gonna jump off and charge my phone and iPad.

Let's see, how am I going to explain to the new people getting on the bus that I don't want any of them to sit next to me? Hmmmmmmmm...

12:13 am
"Your love, your love, supernatural thing" that was the song playing when we stopped in the gas station a little while ago. It's not important but it made me feel good standing in line with my Aquifina water and gummy bears. We just left Blythe. Our next stop will be Phoenix.

I have driven these roads these roads a few times and sometimes by myself. There are moments, most of the moments in fact, when I like this better. The trip is going great. Well, my neck and back are stiff, but then my neck and back are usually stiff. Seriously if there is a massage therapist in Atlanta willing to trade a massage for a photo shoot then it's on.

If I'm not sleep and if there's enough juice on this thing then I'll talk to y'all in Phoenix.

Travel notes 2-18 through 2-21

My mother gave me her iPad. I love it. The toys I love the most are my camera, computer and now the iPad. I'm always writing, thinking, reciting poetry and other stories in my head and on paper as I travel throughout city. Here are some of my musings.

Friday, Feb 18, 2011

1:27 pm
Deana has my computer so I'm on bus to train to HairPlaay to edit the Grooveology photos and Kim's photos from yesterday. Trying to get everything on my to do list complete. May not complete all but will try to get as much done as I can. Train is here.

2:20 pm
Sitting on bus stop on Figueroa and Washington. It is cold.

On bus now going to get my product bag from L.A. and to put on a t shirt to go under this sweatshirt. I need to pay my phone bill too. I'm hungry. What am I going to eat?

Looking forward to leaving for Atlanta.

3:01 pm
On the bus stop on Gramercy and Washington going to Deana's shop. I bought a bag of trail mix and paid my phone bill. This iPad is good company.

It's raining now. Come on bus. I'm so glad I purchased an all day pass.

3:58 pm
Made it to Deana's shop. About to edit photos. Loving me.

5:59 pm
Got computer from Deana. Gonna take it home to edit photos. Got a haircut. It's raining hard. On the bus headed to Long Beach.

7:01 pm
On the blue line to Long Beach. I am enjoying being out in the rain. Something about being on the bus, train and walking that keeps me grounded. There are such great stories to be heard on public transportation. Yes, I do want a car and that will happen when it's time, but for now I will make the most of this.

I had an idea of how I want to use THE NIKEL. I feel like too much time has passed for me to put it out in it's original novella form but I can publish the stories of the characters. I can show the dynamics of the relationships between the characters.

7:40 pm
Got off the blue line and am on the Long Beach bus. Deja has a game in the morning so I'm gonna stay at my mom's house to see her play. This is the last bus for tonight. I'm going to take a long bath and then get started on the photos. I do love this weather.

I miss Uraeus.

I hope that the FCC deposits my money soon. I did the work, faxed the form, mailed the invoice, and now I'm waiting for the money. I am planning to use that money to pay some bills.

I'm still sitting on the bus at the blue line station because the driver is on break. That's cool. My other option is to walk at night in the rain and cold.

What poems am I going to do tomorrow?

Seriously, I'm still here. Not that she doesn't deserve a break but I'm ready. Yay we're leaving! Mom's house soon!

8:53 pm
I'm here. I poured a glass (plastic cup really) of red wine, got some cheese and crackers and took a long bath. I feel great. I got an idea of the new poem I want to do for tomorrow at the Pan African Film Festival. More on that later. Now to edit photos while I watch my new favorite romance "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."

Saturday, February 19, 2011

11:57 am
On the blue line going to shoot the second video for Piper. Terrance is shooting it for me at his place in Inglewood, thank God.

I'm glad I got the video finished for Grooveology. Now I need to make the CDs for Patrice, Kim and Lolita and I will be caught up on my photo projects.

I thank God that I got the money to pay Terrance and get a day pass and one for tomorrow.

12:23 pm
The train I was on was having technical problems so we all had to get off at the Watts station. Now we're waiting. It's cold. It's Watts. I'm hungry.

What is my set list for tonight?

12:32 pm
I think I hear the train. I don't see it though.

3:43 pm
On the bus stop at Venice and La Brea. On my way to the Culver Studios for the PAFF. I think the shoot with Terrance went well today. We shot two videos and will send both to Piper. It's all in God's hands.

I'm cold. I'm hungry. Thank God there will be food in the green room.

Patrice really liked the video I did for Grooveology. Except I didn't include DJ Y-Not. I told her I would make another one. How did I forget the shots of Y-Not?

Ok. Come on bus because I'm really cold. I'm treating myself to the midnight spa. I'm about to go cross country on the Greyhound so I'm gonna give my back this favor. Besides, it's only $20 and it's become my new favorite place.

12:08 am
Sitting in lounge chair at Grand Spa, my new favorite place. Tonight at PAFF was so magical! It kinda felt like ten years ago doing poetry with my favorite poets and some new ones.

I need to put this iPad up and get some rest.

Thank You God for this day.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

11:48 am
I'm sitting in the El Pollo Loco in Leimert Park. I just shot T her wife and children. I'm waiting for Cayenne to shoot her jewelry. Really I feel like going to Long Beach and finish all the projects that I am behind on. Yep, staying in Long Beach again tonight to get up early and shoot Reuben's basketball game. Those children play every night and every weekend it seems. I'm being fun auntie this week.

There aren't any outlets in here that I can use.

I want a car. If I had one right now I would take a nap in it.

I'm sleepy.

4:49 pm
At green line station at Inglewood. Had a great shoot with Cayenne and Nikki. I have a lot of work to do when I get home to my mom's house.

I'm hungry.

Monday, February 21, 2011

2:58 pm
I went to Reuben's game today. It was a good game but they lost. I'm in Roshann's car in the Target parking lot. My photoshoot was cancelled this morning because the guy got called in to work. That's cool because I wouldn't have been able to go to the game had I had the shoot at noon.

I need a nap. Gonna rest a bit when I get to the house then finish editing the projects I'm working on.

I'm performing at a school tomorrow then shooting the video in Santa Monica. Some time between the school and the shoot I gotta get home to L.A. to pack for Atlanta. I'm going to the bus station right after the shoot and take the next bus smokin' to Atlanta. Looking forward to being back in Atlanta and being on stage in Atlanta. Also looking forward to the art show Sunday. God is good. REAL GOOD.

Say what?

We are all ministers of God's love. Each one of us has a testimony to give. Weather we open our mouths to speak it or not we are sharing our story every day. We are speaking with our walk, talk, love, fear, kindness, generosity, selfishness, shame, happiness, joy, misery. We are always talking. Someone is always listening. Always.

That moment on our jobs when least feel like being there, someone is watching. The man living on the street we take time to help, someone is listening. That encouraging word we give, the songs we sing, the toes we step on, someone knows. We will fail sometimes to do what is right. We fail often. The point is not to wallow in the failure. The point is to remember to clean up where we messed and keep moving. Because someone is watching that too. Someone is inspired by the way we messed up and bothered to apologize, cared enough to change, worked to make it better. Someone is always listening. What are you saying?

Night prayer

Mother / Father God, thank You for this day that is perfect and complete as it is. I hold it perfect and whole even in the face of everything I don't udnerstand. Thank You for being all knowing. For being patient and kind. For loving all of who I am. Thank You for Uraeus. I lift him up to You knowing that Your angels are all around him all of the time. Thank You for guiding his path. Thank You whispering clearly and gently in his ear. Thank You for the blessing he is to me, to the world. Thank You, God, for love.

Because we don't

ask for what we want
give away what we think we need
care
love
forgive
remember
forget
let go
hold on
lift up
connect

Seems like

people act out in our lives
according to our core conversations about them
our inner conversations about relationships
keep creating our relationships
keep destroying our relationships

if what we say
in the deep recesses of our minds
is that men lie, cheat, leave
then why are we surprised each time

if we keep telling ourselves
that women are
greedy, selfish, takers
why are we angry
again

what are we saying
about ourselves
right now
to show up in someone else's life
tomorrow

My speech to FCC Victorville

This is the bulk of the speech I delivered yesterday to the prison staff in Victorville, CA for their black history program.

I am not a history teacher and this is not class. This is black history month and the theme is African-Americans and the civil war. I don’t know how to talk about the civil war without some feeling implicated. Without some feeling victimized and others feeling nothing at all. But implication, victimization or boredom is not my intention. I am a very caring, a very humane storyteller here to tell you in a respectfully brief form a story of African-Americans in the civil war.

The war began in 1861 and ended four years later. One of the catalysts of the civil war was the Dred Scott case. Where Dred Scott sued for his freedom. Lost, then lost, then lost again and won. There were many seemingly complications of this case. Seemingly. Just as there were seemingly complications to the civil war. Seemingly.

Some would ask why African-Americans would fight in the civil war. Why would men who were slaves, former slaves, free African-American men, fight in a war in a country that had not allowed him to read, had declared him 3/5ths a man? Frederick Douglass said “Once let the black man get upon his person the brass letters, U.S., let him get an eagle on his button, and a musket on his shoulder and bullets in his pockets, and there is no power on earth which can deny that he has earned right to citizenship in the United States.”

African-Americans were allowed in the war in 1862 however neither white soldiers nor officers believed that African-Americans had the courage to fight and fight well. Their critics were silenced in October 1862 when African-American soldiers repulsed an attack of the Confederates at the battle of Island Mound in Missouri.

By August 1863 14 Negro Regiments were in the field and ready for service.

In July 1863 at Honey Springs, Indian Territory, now Oklahoma, the 1st Kansas Colored fought with courage again. Union troops under General James Blunt ran into a strong Confederate force under General Douglas Cooper. After a two-hour bloody engagement, Cooper's soldiers retreated. The 1st Kansas, which had held the center of the Union line, advanced to within fifty paces of the Confederate line and exchanged fire for some twenty minutes until the Confederates broke and ran. General Blunt wrote after the battle, "I never saw such fighting as was done by the Negro regiment....The question that negroes will fight is settled; besides they make better solders in every respect than any troops I have ever had under my command."


Even before that, in 1862 black soldiers proved themselves as reputable soldiers, but discrimination in pay and other areas remained widespread. According to the Militia Act of 1862, soldiers of African descent were to receive $10.00 a month, plus a clothing allowance of $3.50. Many regiments struggled for equal pay, some refusing any money until June 15, 1864, when Congress granted equal pay for all black soldiers.

Again this is not history class. This is black history month where we celebrate and honor men who had the courage to fight in this war. Some were slaves African-American men who fought for the Confederates. Some of those were slaves who were forced to fight, some were offered their freedom (should they come out alive).

Almost 200,000 African-American men fought for the Union Army and still others for the Union Navy. African American soldiers participated in every major campaign of 1864-1865 except Sherman's invasion of Georgia.

I would be here all day giving you the details of the civil war and the contributions of African-Americans. The point that I am trying to briefly make, briefly remind, is that we were there. Our blood was spilled. This is a month where we honor those men. The mothers, wives, children of those men who never came home. And those men who did.

When I was a little girl my uncle used to tell me that the truth is something you have to search for. Perhaps. And sometimes even in your searching you will never see it in black and white print. Sometimes, and my uncle did not say this, I say, that the truth is sometimes something you have to sit with and imagine. Because I may never read in print the actual conversation between an African-American man, a former slave who had experienced all of the brutality of slavery and his wife the eve of the day he was to go into battle. I won’t know what went through his head knowing that it was most likely that he would never return.

I won’t know what it was for a slave to be handed a weapon and forced to fight as a Confederate. In all of my searching, I will never know that. But I can imagine.

And so what I do with all that I imagine is to help my son imagine too. And not just the battles that were won and lost. Not body counts and weapons used. But imagine the courage, the integrity, the dedication. These were our American heroes. And not just ours, as African-American citizens today, but yours too.

What's up

Good morning friends and family. I'm back in Los Angeles. The Oakland trip was great. The shows, the people, the connections. The Grooveology party that I shoot once a month was Saturday night was a lot of fun. On the business side it was lighter in attendance that normal. I heard that there were a lot of Grammy parties in the area so we guessed that was the reason. Sunday Laura and I went to see Sonia Sanchez at the Nate Holden Theatre. How many ways can I say awesome woman?! Her latest book, MORNING HAIKU is brilliant. I'm on my way now to Victorville to give the speech on African-Americans in the Civil War. I know that's a lot of stuff for one paragraph, but that's what's up.

Be your best you today.

Last day in Oakland (for this trip anyway)

Hello friends and family! Again, another beautiful beautiful day in Oakland. My show is tonight at the Oakland Slam and I'm heading off to Los Angeles after the show. I caught the Greyhound Bus up here and will return the same way. It was an easy ride. Sure, a six to eight hour drive turned into ten when you go Greyhound but I had my camera with me and I got some really good rest. And had the seat to myself for most of the trip. So there. There is a bus leaving at 3:00am tomorrow and another at 6:00am. I'll probably leave the show after midnight and get to the station a couple of hours before the bus leaves, which is perfect.

I did enjoy my time here with Yuri and Kadodye. I did enjoy my time in Oakland. I wanted to connect with my cousin Felicia but our schedules didn't seem to allow, but, next time. Today I will see my cousin Lolita and take pictures of her around Lake Merritt and hang out a bit then we will go to the show tonight together.

I soooo needed this time here. I needed to get the speech together for Monday, which is still not complete but I know it will be ok. I spent yesteday overthinking it. Today is not speech day though. Today I need to focus on the show for tonight.

So, until next time.

Enjoy you.

Another blog about the speech

I feel like my hands are tied. Regarding the speech to the FCC I can't drive this bus because I don't like where it's heading. I got that from a friend I called tonight. I very rarely have concerns about public speaking. So rarely that I don't remember the last time I did have a real concern. I mean, there is always the "Lord, don't let me fart or trip on the way to the stage" prayer I always pray, but I don't think I've ever blogged about a preparation. So why now?

I called Pastor Callahan way in Philly and she broke it down. I knew she would. I told her that I knew I wasn't supposed to "offend the white men who would be there." "You can't drive the bus 'cause you don't like where it's headed." She was right. I'm writing this like a history teacher and that's not who they hired. If they wanted one, they could have found one. They hired a storyteller. A poet. A good one. A good one in the sense that I know myself to be a very caring person. "A very humane person" is what Pastor called me. I accept that. They don't know that they can trust that my intention is not to get up there and crush white balls. They don't know that. But I do. I trust me. I forgot to trust me. I am letting their fears get all over me and between the lot of us, I am the only one that knows me.

"Tell your story and then revise it. But tell YOUR story." Wise words from a wise woman.

A day with the girls - again. My Facebook message today to Imani including Jennifer and Yuri

I wrote this poem many years ago about a day with the girls. While this conversation can be easily understood without the poem, I felt like including it.

Jungle Flowers

Jennifer was twistin' Imani's locks
Yuri was waitin' next
Me I was there for the laughs and White Zen
We watched The Color Purple and The Wiz

We wasn't wearing no bras or
no make up or no shit like that
You supposta chill on girl's night

We all did the dance to
Ease on down ease on down the road
(don't you carry nothing that might be a load)
We laughed and ate like no tomorrow
And we cried when Nettie had to
leave Mister's house
Even though we seen it a million times

We told our own stories of
mental and
sexual abuse

Course they one in the same
Even a sherm head know that the pussy aint good if
the mind aint straight

We cast spells that night
Good times always good when
they with yo girls

We the Jungle Flowers cause all us
usta stay in the Jungle
('cept Yuri but she Jungle by association)
I was the last to leave and Jennifer said I was gon be
there when the Jews came back

(Jennifer always got something to say but she
don't never know
what she talking bout
Haa-haaa!)

Hey Imani, I'm in Oakland with Yuri wishing you and Jennifer could be here so we could have a good ole fashion jungle flowers reunion while The Color Purple plays in the background and we talk about casting the todays version of The Wiz! Love and miss you!

JENNIFER: Don't make me cry. I soooo need some Jungle Flowers lovin' right now.
Cast
Dorothy = KeKe Palmer but they will probably cast Rihanna or Beyonce
Tin Man = (?) Ne-yo maybe Ludacris
Scarecrow = Savion Glover but they will probably cast Chris Br...own
Cowardly Lion = Anthony Anderson
Flying Monkey = Lil' Wayne
Ho's dancing in the opium den = Lil' kim and nicki minaj
Glinda the Good Witch = Jill Scott or E. Badu
Wicked Witch = Me or Tyler Perry as Madea
The Wiz = Terrence Howard

OK now let's do the casting for Sparkle...

YURI: I LOVE IT! And the "Can't you feel a brand new day" dancers would be the crumpin' kids from Rise!

JAHA: Haaaaaaaaa!!!! "Hos dancing in the opium den" "Wicked Witch= me or Madea" You are stuuuuuuupid!!!!!!
I agree with all of your cast ideas except they will probaly cast Dakota Fanning as Dorothy and put a nappy wig on her.

IMANI: Oooooohhhh!!!! Yes, yes, YES!!! Oh Jenny, don't cry...I'm sending hugs and BIG BIG LOVE to you NOW!!!

PERFECT RECASTING!!!!

Oh, poor 'Lil Wayne...but PERFECT! "Not the Flying Monkeys!!!"

JAHA: Do yall remember the Leimert Park recast?

IMANI: Wait...wait...tell me!

JAHA: Dang! I can always go back to that day, Imani when Jennifer was twistin' your locks at your house and Yuri was stretchin and flippin' around and I'm sure I was drinking somebodys concoction. Good times.

IMANI: Oh yes, I'm CERTAIN there was some libation happening. The Wiz followed Color Purple, right? Tears, testifying, then dancin! Oh, I miss those days.

JAHA: Did you get my inbox, Imani?

IMANI: YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

JENNIFER: That day is one of my favorite days of all time. Imani and I almost wasn't friends after that cause I wouldn't let her get up and get a cigarette. Toooooo funny.

IMANI: LOL!!! I forgot about the smokies!!!! LOLLLLLLLL!!!!!

JENNIFER: We had broiled salmon and salad and white zinfandel. We was fancy!

IMANI: We sho is some fancy black ladies!!!

JAHA: I don't even remember Imani smoking. The zin fogs my mind. Still.

*** I moved away to Atlanta, recently back in Los Angeles.
Jennifer moved to Virginia
Imani is in Los Angeles
Yuri moved to Oakland

I don't remember us being together again like that after that day. A few months ago Imani and I sat next to each other at Yuri's father's memorial service. We had a few laughs with Yuri, who was carrying too much of the weight of her father passing to remember much of anything we said. Or that we were there.

All of the moments matter. Friends matter. All these years later when I long for a group of sistas I know got my back, I remember that day. That day I didn't have a clue that that would be that day. None of us did. How could we?

Dear Jaha

Remember when I useta say really bad stuff about you alla time? Then you told me to stop it and I kept doing it. Then you said "Seriously! Stop it!" And you made that twisted face (ugly really, but I'm trying not to talk bad about you). And then I stopped. Well, cut back a whole lot. Anyway, I'm glad you put your foot down because I like you so much better now.

Love,
The voice in your head

Future events

Hello friends and family,

Here is a list of future events. I hope that you will make it out to as many as you choose. I look forward to seeing you. Please feel free to forward to others who may be interested. For more information please visit me at www.jahazainabu.com or call 424-260-3753.

Thank you so much for your support.
Jaha Zainabu

Thursday, February 10, 2011
The Oakland Slam
The Oasis Restaurant & Bar
135 12th St. (@ Madison)
Oakland, CA
8:00pm

Saturday, February 12, 2011
Baldwin Hills Mall
Los Angeles, CA
Stocker entrance
Farmers Market
featured poet - Jaha Zainabu

Saturday, February 12, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Monday, February 14, 2011
Federal Correctional Complex
Black History keynote speaker
Victorville, CA

Saturday, February 19, 2011
Pan African American Film Festival
Culver Theatres
9919 Washington Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA
poetry performance

Sunday, February 27, 2011
Photography sale
private residence
Marietta, GA
2:00pm - 5:00pm

Sunday, February 27, 2011
Apache Cafe
64 3rd St. Northeast
Atlanta, GA 30308
featured poet - Jaha Zainabu

Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Mingles - hosted by Rodney Perry
182 Courtland St. NE
Atlanta, GA 30303
poetry performance

Saturday, March 12, 2011
Book signing for Kim Jones - Me, Inside Out
South Bay Pavillion - Carson
20700 Avalon Blvd.
Carson, CA 90746
12:00pm

Saturday, March 12, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Sunday, March 13, 2011
Bryant Temple
2525 W. Vernon Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90008
5:30pm

Sunday, March 26, 2011
Red Stories 3
Lucy Florence Coffee House
3351 W. 43rd St.
Los Angeles, CA 90008
Jaha Zainabu, Sandbloom, Deana Verse
$20 cover

Saturday, April 9, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, May 28, 2011
Red Stories 4

Saturday, June 11, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, June 25, 2011
Red Stories 5

Saturday, July 9, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, July 30, 2011
Red Stories 6

Saturday, August 13, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, August 27, 2011
Red Stories 7

Saturday, September 10, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, September 24, 2011
Red Stories 8

Saturday, October 8, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, October 29, 2011
Red Stories 9

Saturday, November 12, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, November 26, 2011
Red Stories 10

Saturday, December 10, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, December 31, 2011
Red Stories

Current quotes, dates, notes and facts for my "African-Americans in the Civil War" speech for Monday at FCC

QUOTES:

“Once let the black man get upon his person the brass letters, U.S., let him get an eagle on his button, and a musket on his shoulder and bullets in his pockets, and there is no power on earth which can deny that he has earned right to citizenship in the United States.”
- Fredrick Douglass.

"The chance is now given you to end in a day the bondage of centuries, and to rise in one bound from social degradation to the place of common equality with all other varieties of men."
- Fredrick Douglass

"There is no negro problem. The problem is whether the american people have loyalty enough, honor enough, patriotism enough, to live up to their own constitution."
- Fredrick Douglass

"I pray daily and hourly ... that so, in the end, though we meet no more on earth, we shall meet in heaven, where we shall not be parted by the demands of the cruel and unjust monster Slavery."
- raider John Copeland, written a few hours before his death

"The problem of race in America at the end of the twentieth century is not the problem of slavery. If it had been the problem of slavery, it'd have been over in 1865. But as a nation that saw itself as a Christian nation, as a nation that saw itself built on the principles of freedom, we had to tell ourselves that there was something about the slave that justified slavery. It is that justification of slavery that we are still trying to deal with, more than 100 years after the abolition of slavery."
- James Horton, historian

"Can this be a society of equality between people of different backgrounds and different colors, different races? That question is still not really answered. As long as that question still remains to agitate our country, as long as there are people who feel aggrieved because they are the descendants of slaves and they have not fully shared in the blessings of liberty that our Constitution promises to everybody, the history of slavery will be relevant to the present society. Not because we're going to relive that history, but because if we don't understand it, we will never really know how the country got to the condition it is in now, on the eve of the 21st century."
- Eric Foner, historian

"I never saw such fighting as was done by the Negro regiment....The question that negroes will fight is settled; besides they make better solders in every respect than any troops I have ever had under my command."
- General James Blunt


DATES:

1861 - The Civil War began.

July 17, 1862 - Congress passed two acts allowing the enlistment of African Americans, but official enrollment occurred only after the September, 1862 issuance of the Emancipation Proclamation. In general, white soldiers and officers believed that black men lacked the courage to fight and fight well.

October, 1862 - African American soldiers of the 1st Kansas Colored Volunteers silenced their critics by repulsing attacking Confederates at the battle of Island Mound, Missouri.

August, 1863 - 14 Negro Regiments were in the field and ready for service.

May 27, 1863 - At the battle of Port Hudson, Louisiana. The African American soldiers bravely advanced over open ground in the face of deadly artillery fire. Although the attack failed, the black soldiers proved their capability to withstand the heat of battle.

July 17, 1863 - At Honey Springs, Indian Territory, now Oklahoma, the 1st Kansas Colored fought with courage again. Union troops under General James Blunt ran into a strong Confederate force under General Douglas Cooper. After a two-hour bloody engagement, Cooper's soldiers retreated. The 1st Kansas, which had held the center of the Union line, advanced to within fifty paces of the Confederate line and exchanged fire for some twenty minutes until the Confederates broke and ran. General Blunt wrote after the battle, "I never saw such fighting as was done by the Negro regiment....The question that negroes will fight is settled; besides they make better solders in every respect than any troops I have ever had under my command."

1862 - Although black soldiers proved themselves as reputable soldiers, discrimination in pay and other areas remained widespread. According to the Militia Act of 1862, soldiers of African descent were to receive $10.00 a month, plus a clothing allowance of $3.50. Many regiments struggled for equal pay, some refusing any money until June 15, 1864, when Congress granted equal pay for all black soldiers.

1863 - Black soldiers were recruited for the Confederate Army.

July 18, 1863 - The most widely known battle fought by African Americans was the assault on Fort Wagner, South Carolina, by the 54th Massachusetts. The 54th volunteered to lead the assault on the strongly-fortified Confederate positions. The soldiers of the 54th scaled the fort's parapet, and were only driven back after brutal hand-to-hand combat.

1864 - 1865 - African American soldiers participated in every major campaign of 1864-1865 except Sherman's invasion of Georgia. The year 1864 was especially eventful for African American troops. On April 12, 1864, at Fort Pillow, Tennessee, Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest led his 2,500 men against the Union-held fortification, occupied by 292 black and 285 white soldiers. After driving in the Union pickets and giving the garrison an opportunity to surrender, Forrest's men swarmed into the fort with little difficulty and drove the Federals down the river's bluff into a deadly crossfire. Casualties were high and only sixty-two of the U.S. Colored Troops survived the fight. Many accused the Confederates of perpetuating a massacre of black troops, and the controversy continues today. The battle cry for the Negro soldier east of the Mississippi River became "Remember Fort Pillow!"

The Battle of New Market Heights, Virginia (Chaffin's Farm) became one of the most heroic engagements involving African Americans. On September 29, 1864, the African American division of the Eighteenth Corps, after being pinned down by Confederate artillery fire for about 30 minutes, charged the earthworks and rushed up the slopes of the heights. During the hour-long engagement the division suffered tremendous casualties. Of the sixteen African Americans who were awarded the Medal of Honor during the Civil War, fourteen received the honor as a result of their actions at New Market Heights.

January 1864 - General Patrick Cleburne and several other Confederate officers in the Army of the Tennessee proposed using slaves as soldiers since the Union was using black troops. Cleburne recommended offering slaves their freedom if they fought and survived. Confederate President Jefferson Davis refused to consider Cleburne's proposal and forbade further discussion of the idea. The concept, however, did not die. By the fall of 1864, the South was losing more and more ground, and some believed that only by arming the slaves could defeat be averted. On March 13, the Confederate Congress passed General Order 14, and President Davis signed the order into law. The order was issued March 23, 1865, but only a few African American companies were raised, and the war ended before they could be used in battle.

1865 - After four years of fighting, and the death of 617,000 Americans, the Civil War came to a close with the surrender of the Confederate Army

NOTES / FACTS:
The end of the war marked the end of 250 years of slavery in North America and the beginning of a new era of freedom for African Americans. But the questions raised by the abolitionist movement, of whether we can live as a multi-racial society, are still with us well over a century later.

One of the most important cases ever tried in the United States was heard in St. Louis' Old Courthouse. The two trials of Dred Scott in 1847 and 1850 were the beginning of a complicated series of events which concluded with a U.S. Supreme Court decision in 1857, and hastened the start of the Civil War.

It is difficult to understand today, but under the law in 1846 whether or not the Scotts were entitled to their freedom was not as important as the consideration of property rights. If slaves were indeed valuable property, like a car or an expensive home today, could they be taken away from their owners because of where the owner had taken them? In other words, if you drove your car from Missouri to Illinois, and the State of Illinois said that it was illegal to own a car in Illinois, could the authorities take the car away from you when you returned to Missouri? These were the questions being discussed in the Dred Scott case, with one major difference: your car is not human, and cannot sue you. Although few whites considered the human factor in Dred Scott's slave suit, today we acknowledge that it is wrong to hold people against their will and force them to work as people did in the days of slavery.

Fredrick Douglass saw the Civil War as the inevitable consequence of man's inhumanity to man and a necessary conflagration to break the bonds of slavery. He saw immediately that if former slaves could fully participate in the fighting, they could not be denied full citizenship in the Republic. George Luther Turner, one of the original backers of John Brown, became a major in the Union Army. He immediately turned to Douglass to help recruit "Colored" Troops.

The March issue of "Douglass Monthly" issued the well known challenge "Men of Color To Arms." Douglass recruited over one hundred free blacks from upstate New York for the Fifty-fourth Massachusetts. Among the recruits arriving at boot camp were two of Douglass' sons Lewis and Charles.
Lewis, the older son, served as the first sergeant major of the 54th and he was in the thick of the fighting at Fort Wagner where 1515 Union troops were mowed down by a blistering barrage from the Confederate stronghold. Lewis marveled that he returned unharmed from the assault.

President Lincoln sought Douglass' advise and invited him to the White House. Apparently the two men came to an immediate understanding and respect for one another. Douglass left that meeting feeling that his concerns would be addressed and he agreed to continue to do more recruiting. Douglass had one more meeting with Lincoln on behalf of the black soldiers concerning equal pay.

He felt that his advise was sincerely sought and duly considered. Nevertheless, Douglass was often frustrated by Lincoln's procrastination in issuing the Emancipation Proclamation. The Emancipation Proclamation, which went into effect on January 1, 1863, was a decisive moment in the relationship of Douglass and Lincoln. Once having been issued, the slavery system was doomed. Douglass had persuaded Lincoln to make the pronouncement, and once having done so, the course of the war and the future of the nation were profoundly changed.

On March 2, 1863, eminent abolitionist and former slave Frederick Douglass sent out this powerful message in his newspaper, Douglass Monthly . Titled "Men of Color, to Arms!" it urged black men to support the nation's war and the crusade to end generations of slavery. Approximately 180,000 African American soldiers took up the call to fight for the Union, comprising more than 10% of all Federal forces. Knowing that a Northern loss could mean possible reenslavement, freemen and former slaves showed dedication to their country and a commitment to the freedom of their people forever.

Me with Kadodye

Kadodye (2 years old) is staying at home with me today while his mom goes to work.

J* Do you have to go potty?

K* No.

J* You sure?

K* Yeah.

J* Can I check?

K* No.

J* No you can't check because I'm a man.

Morning prayer

Awesome Spirit,

Thank You dearly for this day. Thank You for Your love and Your grace. Thank You for peace and all that You have blessed me with. I thank You, loving Mother that You are always guiding me. Thank You for blessing me with the comfort of Your boosom to rest in when I am weak. Thank You, dear Father that You are always protecting me. No weapon formed against me will ever prosper. Thank You for that.

I know that You have blessed me beyond what I have opened my eyes to see. Please bless me today, to open and unfold gently to Your blessings. Your many blessings that You have already laid for me. Your many blessings that are mine right now waiting for me to accept. I accept them now wonderful Mother/Father God. I accept the peace and wisdom You have for me right now. I accept the work You have for me right now. I accept the perfect health You have for me right now. I accept the financial blessings You have for me right now. I accept the opportunities You have for me to share You with the world right now. Thank You Mother/Father. Right now thank You.

In this moment I give high thanks for the love, protection, peace, safety, happiness and wisdom You are blessing Uraeus with right now. Thank You for who he is. Thank You for who he is to me and who he is to the planet.

Thank You Supreme for blessing the planet with Your prophets, teachers. Thank You for all of who You are. Thank You always for blessing me with the spirit to thank You.

And so it is.

Dear Uraeus

I celebrate you today
I celebrate your humor your beauty

I thank God for you
I thank God for guiding you along your path

God and His angles are always with you
Always camped around you as you sleep
As you travel
As you dream

Dream big son
Dream bigger than you know yourself to be

I am always dreaming with you

I love you dearly

Black history month

Good morning friends and family. It's another very beautiful day in Oakland. I spent the majority of the day yesterday preparing for a speech for Monday morning. The research has been enlightening, again. I say again because the topic is African-Americans in the civil war. So it's a topic I remember in high school but re reading the material has me look at that period from a different perspective. From the perspective of an adult woman who has experienced America and her racism, her love, her complexities for myself. I took a break from the speech to read the Narritive of Fredrick Douglass and to study more of the Dred Scott case, because how do I talk about the civil war without Fredrick Douglass or Dred Scott?

What I am noticing is that the speech I am writing is the unabridged version of the one I will deliver, but I am truly blessed by the assignment. I was talking to Yuri this morning and I said, "Why couldn't the topic be Grandmothers instead of the civil war?" To that she replied, "Because then you wouldn't grow." She was right. My ego would love to impress them with my Grandmothersy type poetry, but there would be no research to do. Not really. Not digging. Not rediscovering as I am doing now.

I remember recently my uncle Therman and I having a brief conversation about African-American men who fought on the confederate side in the war. In my reading I see the stories about how many of them were offererd their "freedom" (if they came out alive) if they fought for the confederates. Some others didn't even have a choice.

Reading about Fredrick Douglass has been really inspiring. But that's what black history month is supposed to be about. Right? Remembering again. Feeling again. Reloving. Reappreciating. Reeducating ourselves, our children, our communities.

Happy black history month to all of you. I hope you are on your own path to rediscovering you.

What a life

Mary went to Tonya's house for tea. Tonya had dishes in her sink and her bathroom was a mess. Mary went to Sophia's house for lunch. She told Sophia what a mess Tonya's house was.

Sophia went to Michael's house for dinner and cable tv. Michael left his mail on the coffee table. Sophia saw that his mortgage was two months past due. Sophia went to Troy's house for sex and breakfast. She told Troy about her "friend's" financial troubles.

Michael went to Mary's house for sex and dinner. Mary is pregnant with Troy's baby. She didn't say anything to Michael.

Michael went to Phillip's house for band rehearsal and...breakfast.

Doesn't this sound like one messy world? This is what we look like when we stand on our religious soapboxes and point fingers at other religions. Replace Mary, Tonya, Sophia, Michael, Troy and Phillip with Christians, Jews, Catholics, Muslims, Scientologists and Bahai (and any other.)

I was watching a telivision show once and a little boy said "Religions are like farts. Everyone else's stinks but yours is ok."

If we each cleaned our own homes the world would be clean. Instead we cover our mess by talking about someone else's.

Dear Uraeus

Every day I thank God for you
You are wonderfully made
Strong and beautiful
You are wise and witty
Handsome and glorious
You are kind and fun
Friendly and gentle
Powerful and meek

If you forget who are
Because sometimes we do
I will always remember

I will always love you
I will always see you
As the truth of
Who you are

Love,
Mom

On this beautiful day in Oakland

Good morning friends and family. I am still in Oakland and loving it. While today I would love to catch the bart into San Francisco and take pictures of the city I will be inside working more on a speech I'm scheduled to deliver to the Federal Correctional Complex in Victorville on Monday morning. I am the keynote speaker and the theme for the black history program is African-Americans in the civil war. Today is THE day I have to complete it so I'm choosing to be disciplined and do it. I don't anticipate that it will take the whole day because I do have much of it complete. But for now, that's what's up.

I'm sitting in the living room next to the window with the blinds open. The sky is sooooo clear. It is such a beautiful day. Enjoy your day loved ones.

Morning prayer from Help Somebody Ministry

Praise Your Name Lord Jesus. Praise Your Name Lord Jesus. You're our rock, You're our fortress. You're our deliverer. In You will we trust! Thank You Lord for being our all in all. We thank You Lord because there has never been a time that You let us down, deserted us, forgot about us or ignored us. We thank You Lord because You are true to Your Word and because You're faithful, we can always count on You. We pray one for another, asking You to help us let go and trust You. Help us let go of everything that's causing us to worry, everything that's causing us to be sad, everything that's causing us to fear --help us to know we bare needless pains all because we don't take everything to You in prayer and leave it with You. We thank You Lord because You created this day and since You're great enough to create this day, we will trust that You can handle anything that comes with this day. It's a good day today and we will rejoice and be glad throughout this day, no matter what, in Jesus Name, Amen.

Reaching Out To Be A Blessing,
HSM Cyber Prayer Ministry

The oneness of us

I woke up early this morning and prayed as usual. After prayer I wasn't in a space to easily drift back into sleep so I turned the light on and looked for a book. I'm still at Yuri's place in Oakland sleeping in her son's room. I hoped I would find a book more adult than Thomas the train. Not that Thomas isn't a really cool train.

I found a book on the dresser next to the bed called EARTH PRAYERS. The pages spoke to me as I began flipping through. It's a book of prayers and poems by people of many backgrounds. Just what I like. I am moved by the knowing that we are all connected. We are connected with each other and to all life on this planet. To all life everywhere. When we look at life without the separateness we create it becomes harder to hate, fear, criticize others. We are them. They are us. In some way, we are all one.

The following is one of the poems I found as I went through the book.

The mountains, I become part of it...
The herbs, the fir tree, I become part of it.
The morning mists, the clouds, the gathering waters,
I become part of it...

That poem is a Navajo chant.

I turned the light off and as I got back into bed I began listing in my head many ways that we are connected to each other that we may not take time to be present to. The farmers plant and pick the food we eat. The animals live and die and become food for many of us. The bus driver takes us to work, takes our children to school. Mail carriers bring our mail. Men and women wake up early to clean our streets and take away our trash. The list of course is endless. We turn our noses up at groups of people every day who make our lives better. The connection we have to each other is much deeper than the work we do for each other, but it is a part of it.

What if we saw our own faces in the faces we try to look beyond?

Lola

Lola passed away about a week ago and I haven't filed that away emotionally yet. Anywhere. Haven't dealt with it at all. In any way. Except to acknowledge that she passed and get more busy, my norman m.o.

I am thankful that I got to know her and spend time with her. Thankful I got to share stories and poetry. I am thankful our paths connected when they did.

Rest well, Lola. Rest well.

Morning prayer

Thank You God for this day. Thank You for blessing me with love and with peace. So much peace. Thank You thank You for this. Thank You for friends and for prayer. Thank You for blessing me with the choice to always be connected to You. Thank You, Mother, Father, Friend for revealing Yourself as awesome and powerful. I know that there is no place I can be that You are not.

Today I ask for Your guidance. I ask that You direct my every move and bless my every thought. Please guide my tongue, feet, being to the direction of Your will.

I give thanks and praises to You for all of who You are.

And so it is.

From Friday Morning Inspiration / Help Somebody Ministry

Today I will see God in everyone I meet

I will speak to everyone
as if I am speaking to God

I will give my word to everyone
as if I am giving my word to God

I will go to work and behave at work
as if I am working for God

Today I will forgive everyone
as God forgives me

I will do business with everyone
as if I am doing business with God

I will speak about everyone
as if I am speaking about God

These are words I try to live up to. I fail, but I sure do learn a lot about myself and about the love God has for me in the process. What if we all at least tried to live up to this. We will fail and when we do, let's be generous with ourselves, get back up and try again.

Happy Friday everyone.

Jaha
www.jahazainabu.com

Reaching Out To Be A Blessing,
HSM Cyber Prayer Ministry

Future events

Hello friends and family,

Here is a list of future events. I hope that you will make it out to as many as you choose. I look forward to seeing you. Please feel free to forward to others who may be interested. For more information please visit me at www.jahazainabu.com or call 404-957-5967.

Thank you so much for your support.
Jaha Zainabu

Saturday, April 30, 2011
Red Stories 4
Vibrations
2435 Manchester Blvd., Inglewood, CA 90305
7pm
$20 at the door, $10 advance tickets (send $10 to jahazainabuphotography@yahoo.com for advance tickets)

Saturday, May 14, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Orchid
Los Angeles, CA
Jaha Zainabu Photography

May 11, 2011
Saturday, June 11,2011
Grooveology (party)
Orchid
Los Angeles, CA
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, May 23, 2011
Red Stories 5
Vibrations
2435 Manchester Blvd, Inglewood, CA 90305
7pm

Saturday, July 9, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, July 30, 2011
Red Stories 6

Saturday, August 13, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, August 27, 2011
Red Stories 7

Saturday, September 10, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, September 24, 2011
Red Stories 8

Saturday, October 8, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, October 29, 2011
Red Stories 9

Saturday, November 12, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, November 26, 2011
Red Stories 10

Saturday, December 10, 2011
Grooveology (party)
Wilshire Grand Hotel
930 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90017
Jaha Zainabu Photography

Saturday, December 31, 2011
Red Stories

Oakland

Good morning friends and family,

The show yesterday went well. Praise God. It was a day/evening show which is always good for a change. The venue was a clubhouse of an apartment complex. Well, excuse me they were called apartment homes. And sooooooo beautiful!!! The grounds were incredible. I think I took almost as many pictures of the grounds of the complex as I have shots of Oakland all together. The show was actually in Alameda which is very close to Oakland.

What was also beautiful about this show was that the crowd was a group not used to going to poetry events or hearing stories like mine read. Some of them were educators in schools and others in professional businessfolk and most parents. All attentive. It was a great experience for me and for them. And they also enjoyed and purchased the photos that I had displayed.

I give high thanks to God for the blessing of stories, poetry and art. I give thanks to God for blessing me to share the ministry that He has given me to others.

The next show scheduled here is on Thursday at The Oasis Restaurant and Bar in Oakland. I'm looking forward to that. Tomorrow I'm going to a dance rehearsal with Yuri (my friend I'm staying with) and her two year old son.

I'll keep you posted.
Enjoy you today.

First morning back in Oakland

Good morning family and friends. I slept in later than usual but I rested so so good. I'm dressed and about to head out the door to the post office then to the lake. Maybe I'll walk all the way around and maybe I won't. Either way I intend to get some great photos.

I'm wishing you all a wonderful day.

In Oakland

Hello everybody. Just wanted to let yall know I made it safely to Oakland. I love it here! The buildings, people, weather...all of it. I'm staying near Lake Merrit and so I plan to get up in the morning and walk around the lake with my camera. Look forward to the photos. Tomorrow is shoot as much of Oakland as I possibly can day because my first show is Saturday from 2-6. Gonna turn in soon but again, wanted to let you know I made it.

Heading to Oakland

Good morning everyone. I'm in the valley this morning getting ready to head out to Oakland for shows. I went to sleep talking to God. I felt myself peacefully drift off to the world of rest.

If you are in the bay area California please check my website for dates and locations of the shows. www.jahazainabu.com.

I look forward to seeing you.

I am lovingly on my path. Hope you are too.

Morning prayer from HELP SOMEBODY MINISTRY

O Lord, our God, how excellent is Thy Name in all the earth! We thank You Lord for another perfect day that You have created. And, we thank You for blessing us to still be here. We're still here to praise Your Name! We're still here to worship and adore You. We're still here to give love one to another. We're still here to be obedient to You. We're still here to live out our purpose and glorify You. Thank You Father for another chance to say yes to Your will. We're praying one for another, asking that You will give us the courage to walk past situations that have the potential of starting trouble or hurting someone. Give us the strength to share peace where there is confusion and love everywhere we go. Help us to know our attitude determines our altitude and our words are powerful---so help us to think no evil and let our thoughts be renewed by Your Word. Help us to speak no evil and let our speech be seasoned with Your grace. We thank You Lord in advance for this great day and we say by faith, something good will happen to us and for us today, in Jesus Name, Amen.

Reaching Out To Be A Blessing,
HSM Cyber Prayer Ministry

This new chapter

this is the next chapter of the journey
the next foot in front of the other
inhale new air
let go fears

create my world
from nothing
from no past
no yesterday

create my world
from creation

there is art all around
photos of this world
this whole world
stories about this world
poems
films
documentaries about this world
this whole world

I am still standing
I am standing new

two feet
God's feet
there is no place that I can be that God is not
no place that God has never been

new now
this chapeter of the journey

Dear Laura pt 2

So I went to bed last night so full on your words and wisdom. You don't even know how much your words cleared a space in my life I didn't even realize was cluttered. Again, thank you.

Jaha