Tuesday, January 9, 2018

I had a two week break from teaching my class and on the last day of class we named what we were going to do during the break. Without hesitation I said that I was going to catch up in my blog. I didn't. But I'm here now. So far the new year is treating my kindly and I hope it gets even better. I'm in prayer a lot these days. Prayer for direction for Uraeus. Because these are the years. The questioning years. The finding you own way in the world years. I pray that God will reveal God's self to him and he will know. That he will trust his intuition, the ancestors, God, life. This is my prayer for him.

I didn't get on here to say any of that. It was inside and came out. What can I say, mothers and sons. Mothers and sons.

In other news I just got caught up with rent, yes praise God. But omg that sucka is around the corner again. And keeps coming faster than I can seem to sell art or get paid from my home health gigs. Something has got to shift in this new year. We will see.

I'll be out of lorasapam in two days and I don't have an appointment to see my doctor until the 15 of next month. That's not gonna work. I can't go that long without it. I can't sleep without it and I can't function without sleep. Good good sleep. Not gonna worry about that right now. Gonna concentrate on what's good. And what's good is that Uraeus and I are safe in an apartment, healthy, happy, we have food, we are together. There's more I'm sure. For now though, that's good.

Gonna turn in now.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Happy 20th birthday to my son, Uraeus! I love him so much. He's not on social media but I still wanted to dedicate this post to him. Have an incredible day, love!

Today I will listen to the whole song. Watch the dance until the end. Will laugh until the funny fills my belly all up. I will take pictures of the trees. Way the leaves want to bend and scoop me up. I will pray and give thanks for all the things. Things that hurt, that helped, that healed. Things that made me sing, with my not singing self. Today I will walk without my shoes. Let the dirt between my toes. I will sit and stare at the sky. See what the clouds have to say. I will write poems and tell stories. Will dance and scream. Shout joy all through this place.

I'm finally on Instagram @jaha0903 but I don't know what I'm doing yet.
I love scrambled eggs with chunky raw onions and cilantro and grits and lots of pepper and butter. Now you know me a little better.

Friday, October 27, 2017

Bless this day. Bless my heart. My art. Bless my toenails that need to be painted. My legs that need to be shaved. Bless the sun beaming down on me. My mama my sister and play brothers. Bless my son and my homegirl twisting his locks. These trees. This breeze. The sweet tea from McDonald's. Bless my hands. My prayers. My feet and my lips. Bless my Facebook friends and the homies I grew up with. Bless us all. Bless all the things. Bless this attitude. Bless this thankful.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

It's 8:15 pm and I am at home. I have been in St. Louis since Thursday and just got back this morning. I came home and took and quick nap then headed off to work. Thankfully I'm home now and can get some good rest. Though I do have to be at work early in the morning. I was in St. Louis for a WomanPreach event. I always love the events and love the work I do with the group.

Tomorrow is my long day because I have my client plus my class at USC. The class is not moving as fast as I want but I blame myself for that. I've been working so much it's been hard to stay on top of a few things. I'm not painting like I want for one or selling work like I want and need. I'll get it together. I will. I took my meds about a half hour ago and am getting sleepy. Gonna log off but just wanted to say hi. 

Be good to yourselves.


Thursday, October 5, 2017

It's 9:02 pm and I am at home. I got a new client and am working seven days a week. No complaints, thankful for the work and money. Just have to manage my time and class and other clients and picking Uraeus up from school and my rest and painting and selling my books. Other than that, easy peasy. I promised I would write a foreword to one book and a blurb for another, finally got those done tonight after a long and well deserved nap.

My Ohio trip went well. Another WomanPreach gig. Thank God for WomanPreach. I'll be in St. Louis later this month with them.

I have to get some more paint. I haven't produced anything new in over a week. Maybe tomorrow. Logging off now because I have to get up early tomorrow. I'm not used to getting up early every day.

Night all. Love yourselves.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

It's 8:58 pm and I am at home. It's been weeks since I've posted in this blog. Glad to be back. I'm feeling well and things are progressing. For one, my art is selling pretty well. I've been posting photos of my work on Facebook and have been getting customers consistently. So that's good. I got a new home health client and I'm happy there so that's good too. Oh, my book came out! Yay! It's the book from the project I did in 2013 a poem a day. The World Stage Press published it. Wyatt Underwood did the same project in 2015 and they published his also. We had our books released together last Wednesday. It was a magical night. Our work, others also performed, CLI showed up. It was good. Speaking of CLI, I'm teaching the extension class again and it starts tomorrow. So Mondays are going to be my long days because I work with one client early morning another client at 2 and then my class at 6. I might have to make some adjustments to that. I can see that now. I'm going to jump off now to finish a painting but I hope y'all are out making the best of your lives.


Tuesday, August 29, 2017


Tie me into your locks
So I can hear the music in your head
Before the others do
Dance me lightly into your tangle foot groove
We step left foot first then right
Your blood pumps in sync with mine in
3/4 all the time
Me and you
Are different

Sing me softly with heavy vibrato into your lullabies
I will know right then that you love me
Weave me into your butt naked dreams
Where you are begging me please
To take your hand and follow you into forever

Take me
I wanna go

Make me unafraid to love you back
Loose my inhibitions and I will love you lovely
Giving understanding new
To the stress of our very everyday

When we unite
Our worlds will be transformed
Carmex me beautiful on lips
Full of promises kept
I will speak in cadence often
Of my love never ever ending for you boldly

Vaseline me greasy on knees ashy
From rising always after being knocked unjust
I honor the essence of you
Smell you every time I close my eyes
You lie beautifully underneath me

Walk like a king righteous
I will give
Humble, soon, comfortable
Knowing my back is got

Sit shiva facing me
I massage real life into your scalp
Beeswax sticky icky on my palms
Tell me you love me
And I will believe

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Hello all. It's 11:32 pm and I am home. Finally. Been out for most of the day and got back about forty minutes ago. I need to be in bed. This night is hitting me hard. Nights do that though. Especially lately. I also need to be in bed because I have to get up early to see my doctor in the morning. This will be my last visit with her. She is retiring. I told you already.

I went to the park for a little while this evening. While I was there I listened to Trump's speech. For some reason I also read the comments as they scrolled. I shouldn't have done that. People get on my nerves. No, really.

About to hit the sack y'all.


Good afternoon everyone! It's 1:22 pm and I am at home now. I went live on Facebook a few minutes ago reading a poem from my upcoming book. Uraeus shot me. He was cool about it. I said he would act all bored about it and he didn't. I don't know why I even said it. So to my Facebook friends check out the video please. I'm trying to get these books sold. Especially this month.

I'm on my way to see my client but he hasn't answered the phone. I don't want to head that way until I talk to him.

Oh, in other news, also there is a warning attached to this one, gross alert: There is a lump on my arm pit. That's not really gross by itself but when I think about what could be in the lump like puss or something then it gets gross. It's on the right side near the surface of my pit and is about the size of a half a penny. A friend suggested I get it checked out because you just never know. I don't think it's that serious but I did agree to see a doctor about it. I'll let you know.

Back to my book. It's from a project I did in 2013 where I wrote a poem every day for the year. World Stage Press has published the book. You can get your copy now via PayPal. My account is jahasart@yahoo.com.

Take care of yourselves today.