Thursday, October 5, 2017

It's 9:02 pm and I am at home. I got a new client and am working seven days a week. No complaints, thankful for the work and money. Just have to manage my time and class and other clients and picking Uraeus up from school and my rest and painting and selling my books. Other than that, easy peasy. I promised I would write a foreword to one book and a blurb for another, finally got those done tonight after a long and well deserved nap.

My Ohio trip went well. Another WomanPreach gig. Thank God for WomanPreach. I'll be in St. Louis later this month with them.

I have to get some more paint. I haven't produced anything new in over a week. Maybe tomorrow. Logging off now because I have to get up early tomorrow. I'm not used to getting up early every day.

Night all. Love yourselves.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

It's 8:58 pm and I am at home. It's been weeks since I've posted in this blog. Glad to be back. I'm feeling well and things are progressing. For one, my art is selling pretty well. I've been posting photos of my work on Facebook and have been getting customers consistently. So that's good. I got a new home health client and I'm happy there so that's good too. Oh, my book came out! Yay! It's the book from the project I did in 2013 a poem a day. The World Stage Press published it. Wyatt Underwood did the same project in 2015 and they published his also. We had our books released together last Wednesday. It was a magical night. Our work, others also performed, CLI showed up. It was good. Speaking of CLI, I'm teaching the extension class again and it starts tomorrow. So Mondays are going to be my long days because I work with one client early morning another client at 2 and then my class at 6. I might have to make some adjustments to that. I can see that now. I'm going to jump off now to finish a painting but I hope y'all are out making the best of your lives.

J

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Rhythm

Tie me into your locks
So I can hear the music in your head
Before the others do
Dance me lightly into your tangle foot groove
We step left foot first then right
Your blood pumps in sync with mine in
3/4 all the time
Me and you
Are different

Sing me softly with heavy vibrato into your lullabies
I will know right then that you love me
Weave me into your butt naked dreams
Where you are begging me please
To take your hand and follow you into forever

Take me
I wanna go

Make me unafraid to love you back
Loose my inhibitions and I will love you lovely
Giving understanding new
To the stress of our very everyday

When we unite
Our worlds will be transformed
Carmex me beautiful on lips
Full of promises kept
I will speak in cadence often
Of my love never ever ending for you boldly

Vaseline me greasy on knees ashy
From rising always after being knocked unjust
I honor the essence of you
Smell you every time I close my eyes
You lie beautifully underneath me

Walk like a king righteous
I will give
Humble, soon, comfortable
Knowing my back is got

Sit shiva facing me
I massage real life into your scalp
Beeswax sticky icky on my palms
Tell me you love me
And I will believe

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Hello all. It's 11:32 pm and I am home. Finally. Been out for most of the day and got back about forty minutes ago. I need to be in bed. This night is hitting me hard. Nights do that though. Especially lately. I also need to be in bed because I have to get up early to see my doctor in the morning. This will be my last visit with her. She is retiring. I told you already.

I went to the park for a little while this evening. While I was there I listened to Trump's speech. For some reason I also read the comments as they scrolled. I shouldn't have done that. People get on my nerves. No, really.

About to hit the sack y'all.

J

Good afternoon everyone! It's 1:22 pm and I am at home now. I went live on Facebook a few minutes ago reading a poem from my upcoming book. Uraeus shot me. He was cool about it. I said he would act all bored about it and he didn't. I don't know why I even said it. So to my Facebook friends check out the video please. I'm trying to get these books sold. Especially this month.

I'm on my way to see my client but he hasn't answered the phone. I don't want to head that way until I talk to him.

Oh, in other news, also there is a warning attached to this one, gross alert: There is a lump on my arm pit. That's not really gross by itself but when I think about what could be in the lump like puss or something then it gets gross. It's on the right side near the surface of my pit and is about the size of a half a penny. A friend suggested I get it checked out because you just never know. I don't think it's that serious but I did agree to see a doctor about it. I'll let you know.

Back to my book. It's from a project I did in 2013 where I wrote a poem every day for the year. World Stage Press has published the book. You can get your copy now via PayPal. My account is jahasart@yahoo.com.

Take care of yourselves today.

Jaha

Monday, August 21, 2017

Tonight I went to Sprouts and there was a man standing at the door showing his art to people as they walked in. He was offering to draw a picture of people for a donation. I thought his art looked good. They were like cartoon drawings with beautiful decorations in the background of the picture. It was cool to me. A woman who worked there came out with the security guard for the guard to tell him to leave. After he left she was laughing at him and told the security guard that ...his art looked like a five year old drew it and that he needed to find a better way to get a meal. I didn't say anything to her. Now I wish I had. I did give the man some money. I did say a prayer for him. That was more important to me at the time. He is on my heart now though. So is she. The woman who wanted him gone. If he knew a better way to get a meal he would be doing it. We all would be.
We are ALL going through something. Yes, all of us. If you aren't now then you will be. Yours isn't bigger than mine. Mine isn't more serious than his. She doesn't owe anyone her story. They don't have to reveal their bruises. Let's just be kind to each other. How much does it cost to be kind?

Hey everyone! It's 10:34 pm and I am at home. Just got in about twenty minutes ago. I ran into V tonight as I was on my way home. She was headed to the bus stop so I gave her a ride. We went to a couple of stores and it gave me time to spend some good time with her. We ran into a mutual friend at Trader Joes and talked a while in the parking lot. But I'm home now and feeling good. I was telling V tonight that there is something about the sun. Like I will be worried about something at night then when I get up I'm like, what was I worried about that for? Anybody ever do that?

I had a brief but good conversation with Uraeus tonight. Short and easy. I love how he gets it. No particular it just gets it. Gets life. For his age anyway. Actually in some ways beyond his age. I love how I get to be me in his space and he gets to be himself. Freely.

I was considering going hiking with Isaac in the morning but I don't think I'm going to want to get up at 6:30 so I plan to go to the beach instead. I'll leave about 9. That will be better for me. So, good night to you all. I hope you rest well and have sweet dreams.

Oh, about dreams. I had a dream last night, or was it the night before? Anyway, I was in the shoe store trying on heels. Really high heels. I used to wear high heels but I don't anymore. At all. Ever. I found a pair that I liked and I was prancing around in them in the mirror. I know the dream wasn't about me wearing heels again but I think it was more about me reconsidering things that I enjoyed but gave up on. Like love. Like relationships. That comes to mind. I have just closed myself to the idea. I love love though. I love relationships too. I don't think I'm ready to be in one right now but I don't have to be as closed off as I am. I think the thing with me is that I have really good male friends. They pretty much take up the space for relationships. I can talk to them, go out with them, trust them and know that they have me, like I have them. So I just don't look. I've just settled into this space. This home girl space. Everyone is in the friend zone. One of the reasons I'm afraid of relationships is that I've never been in a relationship where I have been comfortable truly revealing the side of me that really gets down sometimes. I don't know how my partner would handle it. So I try as best as I can to be cheery and encouraging and happy. And when I'm not I hide. I always have. It's been my way of protecting my partners. I remember I dated a guy once who said "I don't know what's wrong with you, if you on your period or whatever but you need to get it together." I didn't explain anything to him but that was the last time I felt safe being completely me. I told myself that I wasn't worthy of a relationship. That something was wrong with me. That I should settle with being friends with men. And I did. I have great men in my life. I have great sister friends in my life as well. I feel complete. Sometimes. But there is a part of me that would like to share myself with someone. I'm just not open to sharing part of myself anymore.

I always go into stuff I didn't intend to on this blog. Whatever.

Again. I hope y'all are well and rest well tonight. I plan to.

Kisses,

Jaha


Sunday, August 20, 2017

Oh yeah, tomorrow is the big eclipse. Don't look at it and keep your pets inside. Yes, really. It is that serious.
Hey everyone. It's 11:00 pm and I am at home. Just got in from work. Had a good night with my client. I found out some interesting news. I thought she just turned 100 and it turns out she's about to turn 101. How did I miss that? She is so special. I work with my other client tomorrow and he is just as wonderful. I'm blessed to have these awesome elders in my life.

I don't have much to say. Just wanted to say something before I went to bed. I'm feeling better now than I did last night and this morning. What a difference morning makes. My head is clearer. I don't go to work tomorrow until 2 so I have time to get some things done before then and I'm up for it. Sometimes I'm not. Let's hope I feel this way in the morning too. I have some poems I need to write before the next WomanPreach event next month in Ohio. I'm looking forward to it. I've never been to Ohio before. So, since no poems are really coming to me I guess I better go to where they are, wherever that is, because it's got to get done.

In other news, somebody please tell me to stop drinking sweet tea from McDonald's. I know it's not good for me. Ok, tomorrow. None tomorrow.

Have a good night y'all.

J

Oh yeah, Dick Gregory died yesterday. Jerry Lewis died today. Rest in peace.
Greetings all. It's 11:59 am and I am at home. I am feeling a bit...jumbled. Is that a feeling? I don't know. My thoughts are all over the place. I don't feel happy or sad or mad or glad. And now I sound like Dr. Seuss.

I woke up early this morning because Valerie called to book my flight for the WomanPreach events for the September and October and let me know the 2018 dates. I've been working with them since 2009. I didn't realize it had been that long until she told me. My father died in 2009. I started this blog in 2009. I was living in Georgia in 2009. Things have changed but so much has stayed the same. The same part is part of what has me a little blah. Wondering about the next ten years of my life. Can I handle much more of the same? I don't think so. I don't know. I don't want to go down that road right now. I have enough on my brain.

I'm about to get ready for work today. I don't go in until 4 but I'm dropping off art today to Benin. She purchased one of my favorite paintings. Then I need to go to the grocery store and pick up a few things and you know, eat or whatever. I'll be working until 10:30 tonight. That's not that long and time goes by really fast when I'm working with my clients. I enjoy them.

I wanted to work on a painting this morning that I started days ago but I still haven't. I was also going to do it last night but just felt kinda blank creatively. Still feel that way. I can write in this blog but this is not really my creative writing. This is more my "writing before the writing" that's what Tchsie calls it. Writing before the writing.

Truth is I don't feel like doing much of anything today. I want to doodle around with some art, if my art will speak to me, and eat and mess around looking at YouTube or something. It's a lazy day but there are things to do. Soooooo, I'm gonna get to 'em.

I hope your day goes well.

J