Thursday, April 28, 2016

Speak

Speak to me
Like art licks the butterfly
Like moon kisses the sky
Tell me stories
Tell me about grass growing
About water boiling in your grandmother's pot
Say anything
Make your lips move
Up and down
I will read your words as they fall from your mouth
I will fold your sentences and save them inside my bra
Tell me about your dreams
I will imagine bass and rain in the background
Tell me
Tell
Me
I can keep a secret
I can hold water
I can hear a whisper
I have stories of my own you know
I will tell you
Feel my breath warm on your neck
Make me gather your tales in baskets of straw
Tell me
Tell
Me
Make me remember the stories you told me before
Make me remember
Re
Member
Hold me
Like the rainbow lifts the sky
Tell me blues
Reds
Yellows
Tell me greens and oranges
Make me remember
Re
Member
You

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

It's 6:52 pm and I am at home. Today was a beautiful day. I taught a make up class at one of the schools where I teach. Normally I am only there on Fridays but we had a mid week class today. It was a good class. I took myself out to lunch after class today. I bought lunch and ate it at a park. I needed that. Sometimes being inside of my home makes me want to sleep. Too much sleep makes me depressed.

After lunch I came home to clean up and found Uraeus here still working on his paper due today. I took him to school and was present to how much I love my son. How blessed I am. He's working hard in school and is happy. Which is what I want for him. He's back home now resting after his day.

No big news to report, just releasing these thoughts in my head. Now I need to get busy on what I'm teaching tomorrow.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

I feel good today. Dealing with being bipolar I have days when I'm so down I can hardly move. Then there are days when I'm so up and talking so fast I scare myself. Today I feel well. I feel good. I don't know how long this feeling will last but I cherish every moment that I have this feeling. I hope you are well too. I hope you can feel all this love energy around you. I hope this last longer than today. I love y'all.

Friday, April 22, 2016

Yesterday Prince died and I'm still in shock. I have finally accepted that it's true. I was waiting yesterday for the radio to say they had been mistaken.
Ready to teach poetry to some bright and talented 10th graders. ‪#‎SayWordLA
Taalam Acey spoke to my class yesterday and was so inspiring! Thank you Taalam for being so great with the students. The work you shared was brilliant! ‪#‎SayWordLA‬

When one of my students asked who Prince was, at first I had no words.

I'm excited about working with the Children's Arts Festival tomorrow at the Buena Park Community Center! I'll be leading an arts and crafts room with over three hundred children running through. Sunday I'm resting though. Yep, Sunday.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

It's 3:38 pm and I am at home. I had a good visit with my doctor today. I see her once a month whether I'm feeling okay or not. I'm feeling well. We talked about my sleep patterns. When I'm sleeping too much I get depressed and when I sleep too little I start to get manic. All this is information I know. Also that the lithium makes me feel better but also makes my hands shake a little. For now I can handle the shaking.

I have an early class tomorrow but I'm still going to Eerene's book release at The World Stage tonight. I need to be out tonight. If not I would probably just grade a few papers and turn in early. I'm beginning to sleep a lot. I'm also thankful for that because I remember the days when I couldn't fall asleep for anything. Speaking of things I'm thankful for, I got my iPad out of the pawn shop today. It felt good. Also thankful for going grocery shopping today. We were running low around here but God always shows up right on time. I'm still behind on napowrimo and I think I'm giving up, other than that, I'm good. How are you?

Saturday, April 16, 2016

It's 2:26 pm and I am at home. It's Saturday and a beautiful Saturday at that. I have some reading to do for CLI on Monday and some papers to grade for Tuesday at Fairfax and more papers to grade for Friday at University but I'm not doing that right now. Not now. Now I am enjoying the stillness of this Saturday. Oh, not to mention my floors need to be mopped. Still, not now. Perhaps not today at all. I may see a friend later on today and hang out with her. I'm due for a girlfriend hangout. For laughs and drinks. I'm still behind on napowrimo but I did like the last one I posted. That's a shift in the right direction. On second thought maybe I will knock out some of this reading.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Napowrimo for day 12 of 30 - This now me love

I am getting older
Old
Older
Just old enough
My hair is turning gray
Not just at my temples either
Like a handprint on my head
I am touched
Touched
Maybe by God
Who knows
This is not the body I remember from my twenties either
This is someone else's body
This is my body
Mine
It is up to me to love this me
This gray and black fro
This body with flesh so everywhere
Once upon a time I was the skinniest bitch in the room
Once upon a time I was a bitch
I was proud
Not anymore
I have curves
I am a woman
A beautiful woman
I have to get used to this beauty
This woman I am
I am a poet
You know poets
How we are
You know women poets
How we talk about our bodies and periods and menopause
How bloody bloody we are
Yes, I am that woman
With hands like trees
To reach and hold you if you need me
Do you need me
Did you call
Tell me I am beautiful
That is what I am saying
When I am saying something else
Like me
Hold my tree hands and love them like they love you
Free me from all these thoughts and poems inside my gray and black head
It is up to me to love myself
Don't you know this is true
Don't you know the part I have to play
To love you and me too

I have been writing pretty poorly this napowrimo but I'm going to get my act together before the month is up and produce something I love. Just watch.

By the way, napowrimo is NAtional POetry WRIting MOnth. April is poetry month and poets all over the world post poems for the whole month. The idea is to do it every day but I've been bullshitting and skipping days and posting two for the days I skipped. Hey, however it gets done though. It's been a challenge for me this year. I've done napowrimo before and poems came a lot easier. This challenge makes me even more proud of myself for completing a poem a day in 2013. I didn't skip any days and had each poem posted before midnight. I even had more than one poem on some days. And good work too.  Work I still use. Speaking of that project The World Stage Press is going to publish it. I'm so happy about that.

But I still don't have a poem to post for today yet.