Monday, March 30, 2015

A poem a day for 2015 - day 89 - On

I feel strings in the
air like the eyelashes of
angels sending love
Sometimes I need family. Last night I did. Last night felt good to come to my mom's house and hang out with my family. I slept in the bed with her and listened to books on tape. That's what we do. This morning I am about to go and work out with her and her friends. This should be interesting. I have already taken my niece to school. I do love my family. I do love being able to need them and being close enough to be with them. So. Yeah.

Gratitude

I am thankful for this day
For love and peace
I am thankful for my son
For his safety and health
For his friends and family
I am thankful for my friends
For my family
For the time spent taking my niece to school
For our exchange of I love you
I am thankful
For food and shelter
For thanksgiving and poetry
For words and art
For all that there is to do today
I am thankful today for being thankful

Sunday, March 29, 2015

I'm writing a speech for Take back the night (sexual assault) for Cal State L.A. and it is as triggering as writing for Black Lives Matter. The place where black women's lives intersect is an emotional one. I had to take a break from it today but will be back at it tomorrow. I will deliver. I will.
I'm all caught up now on my poem a day project. I'm not as rigid as I was last year and the year before with time. If I miss a day I make it up the next, or the next. I'm giving myself space and grace. I earned it. I think. I'm taking care of myself. I'm trying.

I'm open and sensitive. D is still in hospital and it's weighing on my head. It is. I am praying. I'm thankful for spring break. I needed the time away from my students. I really did. My son is on break. He is with friends. I'm always praying.

A poem a day for 2015 - day 88 - God be a fence

God be a hand above my son's head
Be good sense in the car with his friends
Be calm
Be a joke
Be a wise word
Be a memory to cherish
Be easy moments
God be a breath during their hangouts
Be a teenager
Be an elder
Be blessed traffic
Be a gentle spirit
Be counsel
God be good favor
God be wheels
Be air in tires
Be eyes on road
Be safety
God be good times
God be fun
God be good
Good good
God be home

A poem a day for 2015 - for day 87 - With her

I rode to Walmart with my mother this evening / and I have a policy about not shopping at Walmart / because of Walmart and you know / but the thought of one friend in hospital gave me pause about saying no to my mother / my only mother / my only living parent / I have not changed my mind about Walmart / but I will go to Walmart with her / with her / I have her / I will follow as she pushes the basket / I will / I will reach for pumpkin spice and vanilla / I will / I will / I will laugh with her / I will stand in the long line and put groceries on the rack / I will / I will / I will remember to cherish this moment / even this / even this Walmart moment / with my mother

A poem a day for 2015 - for day 86 - For you

All the fragile moments of our lives
The simple hellos and carefree goodbyes
Times we forget to remember and give thanks for
We are complex and breakable
I forget
I forget that tomorrow is not promised
I forget
You make me remember
How changeable easy moments are

Thursday, March 26, 2015

The parking gods are always with me. My friends know this is true. Even if a lot is full cars part the the  Red Sea when I am around. I always have a good spot. I don't know why that is. The parking gods are real. Don't believe me? Ride with me. It works. I can even send the parking gods to you if you want. If you really want and you believe. I am believing that the money gods show me the same favor. Because there is such a thing, right?
I leave for work in about fifteen minutes and I am so glad that spring break starts tomorrow afternoon, for my students and for my son. And I pray my students are not too much of a handful today and / or tomorrow. And God please bless me to be who I am supposed to be for these children.

I teach children, I have to remind myself. I have to remind myself what an opportunity that is. What a blessing that is. What a responsibility. I remind myself often. I remind myself that I have to show up powerfully even when I don't feel like it. Sometimes I don't feel like it. Often I don't feel like it. But I show up. Powerfully.

A poem a day for 2015 - day 85 - For DL

I will go to hospital after work and visit with you / and we will talk / and I will watch you sleep / and I will bring you the Los Angeles Times as you requested / and I hope I am in time for your meal because watching you feed yourself after not being able to brought me so much joy yesterday / and I will pay for parking and wish is wasn't so expensive / and I will be glad I am paying for parking and watching you heal instead of the alternative / and things take time / like healing / healing takes time and I have time and the patience to watch you heal / and continue to pray for you / and there are a team of people praying for you / did you know / did you know that folks on the other side of this country are praying for you / folks you don't even know / and every day you look better and better / and here's hoping better and better continues
Today V Kali is speaking to my class. I am honored to know such a powerful woman and be close enough to her for her to agree to speak to my youngins. Dear God, let my babies hear what this wise woman has to say. Bless her thoughts and voice and give her energy to share what You would have her to share.