Saturday, August 10, 2013

A poem a day for 2013 - day 221 - Awake


Yesterday was the worst and the best
It was sinking and brain crashing
It happens 
It seems to be the cycle of my regular
Sky ups and I am wide arms and fingers spread
I am love and every way of happy
I was not every way of happy yesterday
I was afraid
I was tears
I was not this again
Paranoid 
Lost
I was heart crumble and fire
Spin
Drown
I am tired 
Of that kind of way
Of those kind of days
I am thankful still 
For yesterday
For the best
For a long drive with my son
For the laughter he brings to me
For honest chatter
For talks about the whatever
For the 11pm stop at the local taco truck
For the absolute best chicken quesadillas and cinnamon horchatas ever
For the easy that finally landed
I was one of those women
You know
Who could do it on her own
Without the meds who could bypass the downs
I am not one of those women
Not now
I am thankful for clear days like today
Yesterday was not today
I get afraid sometimes
That I will get stuck in one of those downs
My son deserves his mother
I have work to do
Here
On this planet now
I am thankful 
For friends I can call
Who listen and know
Who care and hold space for me
How ever I am

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