Me with Bobby part 2

(Bobby and I had this conversation at the Davis Family Reunion in July at Gen and Steve’s place in Chicago.)

J* Wherever you wanna start.

B* I guess I’ll start with being so happy to meet the other side of Ronnie’s family. Meeting his uncle Elmost Woods and his wife Rhonda. And hoping it will be a start of a new relationship with Ronnie, ‘cause I want so much for Tyler and Kennedy to know the other side of the family.

Not to invalidate our family, but I think they might need the other side too.

J* I understand that. I needed the other side.

B* Yeah, they are just younger and may not have anyone to really relate to. Although Roshann kept them once when they were out of town and they had fun with Reuben.

I hope they find a relationship with family, ‘cause right now they have Ronnie and Jacquie and her mother?

Last night the siblings had great discussions with each other. Most of us got a lot of stuff out that we didn’t think others knew about. It was a great blessing to me. I learned a lot. I got to find Don and stop putting him down so much and try to give more understanding and not just say that everything is a lie. Patsy said that he’s really telling the truth and nobody is believing him. He depends a lot on John and we should relieve some of that.

I was so glad to meet Robin. Robin Davis. Bubba’s Robin. I was able to be around her and get to know her. She talked to me. I’m very grateful to Gen and Steve for putting this on. Hopefully all of us would be able to save the money and get together next year and the year after. There are going to be a lot of events. Jackie and Jimmy’s anniversary and then going to Ghana. Shedrick has made it so interesting. I’m extremely glad to meet him. He is in Herman’s story. And in meeting him, he’s just like I imagine him.

I think Peace Corps would be good for Janice too ‘cause it’s traveling and it’s a lifetime job. If I was her I‘d do it, and she really don’t have to be waiting around for nothing.

J* When did Ronnie’s dad die?

B* Elmost wrote and told me so it’s been a couple of years. Its hasn’t been that long.

J* Ronnie never met him to know him but he met him as a baby. He talked to him once when he was in college. I was under the impression that he had other children. But according to Elmost, he never had any more children. Elmost went on the internet and found Ronnie. He wanted him to know that Woods had died and wanted to fill Ronnie’s family in their family tree.

J* How did he die?
B* He died of alcoholism. According to Elmost he was a closet alcohic. He was in and out of the VA hospitals. I knew that from when we would argue with each other about Ronnie and other stuff. Even when we were going with each other he was drinking. He had threatened to come back and kidnap Ronnie, but I told him that he would be in jail forever.

When he stayed in the house when he got out of the service he didn’t see me doing anything for Ronnie he said. He wanted to take us to Chicago and me to be a “real” mother to Ronnie. That’s when he decided to go back to Chicago. Of course Mama was like, “You aint takin’ him nowhere.”

I wouldn’t go and I wasn’t that much in love with him. It was more a argument type situation with us. I don’t know if it was ‘cause we were both Gemini’s or what. If he said it was red I said it was blue. Plus it was just…eh, I don’t know.

He sent me a picture of him in his navy uniform and Ronnie had that with him for the longest. After Ronnie talked to him in college I think Ronnie destroyed it. That was the last picture we had of him and Ronnie had it last. I regret not keeping in touch with him. It would be easier now to bridge that gap if I had.

J* Have you talked to Ronnie since you’ve been here?

B* No, Janice said she sent him an email and said that she just met Elmost and his wife and he just text her back and said, “Good maybe next time.”

I almost hate going back ‘cause it feels so good. In our family meeting I mentioned that maybe Mama intentionally kept us apart. Not to be mean or nothing, but maybe ‘cause she wanted everything to flow through her. We never had birthday parties or were encouraged to celebrate others birthdays, but she never forgot any of our birthdays.

J* It explains a lot.

B* Mama was the baby of the family and sometimes she had baby ways. She encouraged each of us in our efforts. She encouraged us separately instead of inclusively. But so be it, that was then and this is now.

Patsy was the one who made us realize that Don was really hurting now. She made us see that everything he says is not emblessished. I hope to get to know my great nieces and nephews and so they can start sharing with their children.

J* Do you think Grandmommy lived through you.

B* I know she did.

J* She used to say that she was very bashful and was excited to hear some of my escapades and she would be shocked by some things, but liked to hear it.

I was very associated with Bubba, but not so much Grandmommy. She was associated with the schools. Just like people were shocked to find out that I am Mildred’s sister.
That should not have been. Mama encouraged me in different ways.

J* Like what?

B* I was involved in woodcraft rangers, girl scouts, brownies. I had teachers that really cared about me and I would spend sometime with them. She liked me dressed a certain way and at a certain point I would say don’t Mildred want clothes? Don’t Patsy want clothes? She would say, “Don’t worry, Mildred sews her clothes and Pasty don’t really care about that. She would always make sure I had certain kinds of clothes.

I wanted a coat for a game coming up on one Friday and she said, “I aint got no money for no coat.” I really wanted the coat, and I had accepted no, but I really wanted the coat anyway. Come Friday I had the coat.

I felt encouraged to do what I did. I felt like that’s what she would have wanted to do if she could have. I felt like she enjoyed certain things that I did. She liked it. It was a joy to her. She said that me and Bubba were different. Sometimes not good different.

J* You and Bubba were close?

B* Oh, I always wanted to be with Bubba. Bubba and his friends. I would hear him planning on going fruit hunting and they would plan to leave at 5 in the morning. I would sneak out too and follow them. When I got far enough and I knew he wouldn’t send me back…

It really hurt me when he quit school ‘cause I was so close to him. Especially when I found out he was doin’ heroin. But he would always protect me. People would say, “No, I can’t give you that ‘cause you Bro. Bob’s sister and Bro. Bob would kill me if he found out I gave you that.” He kept us safe.

One time I came home late and he was behind me and he was with a bunch of other niggas. I kept the door open for Bubba to come in behind me. The guy he was with came up to the door after Bubba got in and Bubba grabbed a knife and put it to his throat and said, “You don’t never come up to my door, nigga! This is my parents house and don’t you nevah knock on this door!”

Ronnie loved Bubba. Even Jacquie said, “Bubba was my favorite.” Even people in the neighborhood would say that Bubba was so respectful. He never stole from us, from the house, now he stole from the stores and stuff like that but not from us. Other people tell stories about how their family member’s would come home and find all the furniture gone or something. I think Mama was glad that Bubba went before her ‘cause I think she was worried if we would take care of him. That’s my opinion. In some ways she didn’t know if Bubba would be the same…Daddy was dead and Bubba really respected Daddy. She said she wondered how would he act if Daddy was not around. I don’t think it would be any different. In any event she was glad that he went before he did.

In Mama’s mind, Ronnie was more hers than mine. I once told Ronnie that my only regret was that when we were growing up, Daddy would come through the house saying, “Sunday school time!” When I had Ronnie I told Daddy, “I’m eighteen and you are not gonna make my child go to church.” Those words I said to him, I regret that. I rejoice now that he married Jacqui and her father was a minister and that’s a good thing. Now he was baptized before but…I’m not against how they are raising Kennedy and Tyler but I wish they were in an environment where they could see more of a mixture. Not just white folks. They have that in their church but…I mean, we had plenty of that. I think that somehow that might lead to shock.

(Me with Bobby part 3 coming soon)