How I unwind

This is the time I want my brain to slow down but it won't and so I freewrite to go to sleep. I have so many stories in my head and they all come rushing to the front trying to be the first out the box. But I don't want to write a story right now. I want to read one but I just finished a novel. Paint it black by Janet Fitch. And what do you care? And this post isn't even about you. Can't you tell? It's all about me and how I unwind for the night. Me with all of my ideas and thoughts and songs and poems and things to do tomorrow and what didn't get done today on my head. Me with my dreams and fantasies and there are many. Believe me. Me with my word games and what I did wrong and what went right. This is me remembering Alice at the taping of the documentary looking into the camera and saying that Jaha will be one of those women people write about and wondering what they will say. This is me in one long paragraph waiting until after the 23rd when the Mercury retrograde will end to reach out and respond to some emails with some folks with whom communication is sketchy at best. This is me close to the middle of the night just getting in and ignoring his calls and please stop calling me I don't want to talk to you you know who you are. This is me about to say my prayers and not start another story tonight because I will want to finish it or at least get far and deep and wide into the telling of it that I wont want to stop. This is me loving myself enough to pray and open a book and read until my eyes have had enough.