Another day another $1.85 (from journal entry 10-4-11)

7:53am
I'm at Clara's and she was up when I arrived. On the couch drinking cofee, giving orders.

Me: Good morning.

C: Oh, good morning. Um go out there and cut the flowers and bring some in here and put them in this vase so I won't have to look at those dead ones.

Me: I'm not going to go cut the flowers but I will throw these away.

C: Go cut the flowers. You can tell them I told you to.

Me: (thinking- All the more reason for me to not cut the flowers) No.

Glad she's up and I've already given her her breakfast because we have to go to the doctor today and the van should be here about 12:45.

They are talking about Amanda Knox going free and coming home today. She is the young woman from Seattle who was a foreign exchange student in Italy. She was accused, with her former boyfriend, of killing her roommate. Originally she was found guilty but on appeal she was found not guilty after four years in prison. Her family says she wants to come home and get on with her life. Good luck with that.

I was listening to the reporter (forgot his name) and I agree with him. "The American people will want her to look straight into a camera and say 'I didn't do it.' She will have a better chance of getting on with her life if people believe her."

I feel dizzy. Still. I felt dizzy when I woke up this morning but didn't pay it any mind. But I've had breakfast and water. I'm even sitting down and that feeling is still there.

#goawaydizzygoaway

8:57am
What the heck with how I feel right now!? No, no mental sinking, still dizzy though. I wish there was a blood pressure machine here so I could see what my numbers are. This is weird. But not weird enough for me to feel like I need a doctor thank goodness.

We are watching Regis and Kelly and Clara always complains when she sees Regis because she says he's too old to dye his hair. But she loves the show. Go figure. In fact, any news or newsish show on channel 7 (ABC) is better than any news or newsish show to her.

10:44am
Feeling much much better. Dizzy all gone. I am loving this gray sky. And cliches are around for a reason because a big (McDonald's supersize) cup of hot chocolate, sounds so good right now. Seriously, hot chocolate, my bed, my pillows, Law and Order, Uraeus, a new canvas and plenty of paint sounds like heaven to me.

It's almost time to get ready to go to the hospital. She's pretty quiet today (for her) so hopefully it won't be a production. "Getting ready to go" starring Clara as Queen English Bee.

She's eating now (again) so she won't be hungry and crabby in the waiting room. But the other side of that is that she will say (louder than will be cool) that she has to have a BM over and over. And if you thought my back was sore changing her, transferring her from her wheelchair, standing her up, pulling her diaper off and pants down, then sitting her on the toilet all while she is screaming "Don't drop me! Don't drop me!" is a sore back you really aren't ready to hear about.

10:59am
The news is back on and of course the leading story is Amanda Knox. It's sad that they rarely talk about Meridith Kercher (the woman who was killed). What about her and her family and what they are going through? Where are their interviews? Their faces across the news?

If she is truly not guilty then I am relieved for Amanda and her family and friends.

12:38pm
We are in the Access Van. Always an ordeal getting her out of the condo garage. I so feel for the handicapped community. There is no ramp in the front and the only way out in a wheelchair is through the garage and there is an uphill ramp to get to the gate. So that means I push her up the hill and once we get to the gate there is a metal bar on the ground I have to maneuver over that I succeeded once and will never try again by myself. So usually I wait for the van with the gate open and flag the driver to help us. Of course the story doesn't end there. Once the driver gets out, I usually have to hear the part about how the drivers aren't supposed to help because if something happens the insurance won't cover it. Then for two short but long seconds the driver and I have a staring contest, that I always win and we all get in the van and I'm sweating and I wipe my forehead then get my game face ready for the return trip because there will be a different driver.

12:49pm
We are at the hospital now.

1:04pm
Waiting room 6B. Waiting. Breathing.

1:20pm
Back in the waiting room. We weren't sitting here five minutes when she followed the script.

C: You know, I think I have to have a BM!

Me: Ok.

As I'm getting up to wheel her to the restroom...

C: Oooohhh! I have to have a BM!

And we go to the restroom and do the whole "Don't drop me" dance.

It all went pretty smoothly (considering).

Dear back,
I promise you a massage soon, dear. Promise.

3:52pm
We returned from Kaiser.

C: East west home's best.

She says that everytime we return. I lift her out of her chair and onto the couch then brought her food.

C: Oh no, you didn't go to all this trouble for me did you? You have enough supper for yourself?

Me: Sure.

Two hours and fifteen minutes to go.

"Getting old is not for sissies." I think I will always remember those words from Mr. Minute and the sure but easy way he said it.

Breathing. Breathing. Breathing.

Dear reader,
I'm in California right now and the sky is gray and it's slightly raining. Soon it will be raining hard. This is my favorite time of year so my posts will begin to get mushy. It's the weather.

#justsothatyouknow