Breathing

I still don't like this new layout on Blogspot. Blogspot does not care. It knows I won't move permanently to Tumblr. Tumblr doesn't feel like home. I don't want all the interaction or whatever. No, that's not it. I just don't post there much. Besides most everything I post anywhere else I post here too so...Whatever. This is a dumb free write. There are things I want to write about but haven't decided to move those thoughts past my journal yet. Maybe I will. Thoughts about my son. My absolute favorite person on the planet. He is fifteen now. And I can't take it away. None of it. None of the fifteen year old stuff. None of the lessons. Even if I could answer every question he will never voice inside his head, there would be a million more to take place in his head. I can't take away those feelings. Those whatever awkward feelings. I can only love him and do my best by him. I can only be here and look him in his big amazing eyes and tell him I love him. Listen when he speaks. Hold him in my thoughts and prayers. Laugh at his funny stories. Twist his thick locks and remind him to keep his phone charged. There are things I can do. And he is fifteen now. There are things I can't do.