Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Her "Crazy Streak" (from Bubba's journal - Saturday, December 25, 1993)

She warns that existing somewhere within her is a demonic "urge" that, when triggered, will, in a flash, transform her from normality into an extremely violent, uncontrollable, mindless, caricature of a human being. While in this state, she is unaware that this transformation has taken place. She also is not conscious of her actions, and must be told what she has done while in this violent state when normalcy returns. This transformation is usually triggered by the behavior of a certain individual, who also becomes the target of her violence.

According to her, she has been struggling to gain control of this "demon" within her for a number of years, realizing a measure of success over the past couple of years. To her horror, she has recently become aware of the fact that sufficient control has not yet been obtained. However, to her credit, although she has encountered several situations in which the triggering ingredients were present, she has somehow maintained control. She does, however, have a fear that she might run into the situation in which control slips away from her, and whoever should be in a position to witness this incident will be in quite a shock.

She says that the existence of this "demon" within her is not something that she is proud of. In fact, she says, it frightens her, and unless and until one witnesses one of these transformations, one has no idea of how horrible it can be. She also believes that her warnings are, by far, not taken seriously enough by the special few that she shares this information with. This upsets her, for the most part.

She takes the position, as it relates to me, that because she has informed me about this "demon's" existence, I now share her burden of keeping the lid on this "demon." That is, when/if she informs me that a particular individual is triggering the transformation of her into this violent, mindless creature, I am expected to do whatever is within my power to prevent this transformation from occurring.

Because she is the only authority on this situation, and because I am only as knowledgeable about the situation as she chooses for me to be, with her having the power to manipulate "facts" at will, I am effectively at her beck and call, as long as I take the position that I believe in the "demon's" existence and am willing to help her maintain control over it.

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