Red Stories 10 - Childish stories I made up about relationships that are not true, but I made them up anyway.

1. All men cheat.
2. If you really love a man and give your all in the relationship, he will not appreciate you or what you do and he will leave. You must leave him first.
3. All men who play professional sports are liars and cheaters. (I'm still trying to believe that's not true.)
4. Being a man's friend is the only way to really know him. Once you're in a romantic relationship he will hide who he really is.
5. All me lie.
6. Men only care about their own feelings.
7. Men get into relationships to control women.
8. Men who like to dance a lot are secretly gay and are using you to hide that.
9. Most male preachers are perverts.
10. Most of the men in church are lying cheaters who are only in church on Sundays because of the dirt they do all week.
11. Men will look you right in the face and lie to you and hold onto the lie for life.
12. Black men say they want natural looking black women (but only if one of her parents is naturally white.)
13. Relationships are only supposed to last two maybe three years at the most.
14. When a man tells you he loves you, its OK to say it back to him, but when he turns away roll your eyes and say "Yeah right" in your head.
15. All women were sexually abused as children and we never really get over it.

Dear reader,
I've walked around with lies about men and relationships for most of my life. I love men. Always have. Trouble is, we go through what we go through and many of us think that the comfort of a man is supposed to heal it (whatever it is / was).
I've lied to myself about even having issues with men. Issues with myself.

The ego is something, you know. Mine tells me that if I act like I've got it all together then that alone will majestically make that so. I pretend that I have made perfect peace with my past and the ghosts of lovers past don't creep into my consciousness and affect who I'm being in the present. The truth is, I've got a lot of healing to do.

I believe we have the relationships we have because of the stories we tell ourselves and believe to be true (deep within us). You wanna know what you really believe about relationships? Look at yours. Here's the blessing. A belief is just a belief. No matter how long it took to form, we CAN believe something else. My problem was that I tried to believe something else before I got straight about the stories I made up in the first place. Here's another thing. No matter how much evidence we have to prove the stories were living, the moment we believed them, we made them up to be true.

Note: When you are being straight with yourself, don't be afraid if your list looks ugly. The straighter you are the more ugly it may seem. Trust me, my list is uglier that this. My ego is still only letting me go so far on a blog. For now. (and why do we act like we cant control our egos?)

By the way, I'm a woman on her front porch drinking tea getting ready for work. Not a psychologist. Thinking, meditating, praying, sharing my thoughts. Let your truth come to you.