You get over it

I’m angry because I thought I was done being angry
Thought I was done being triggered by smells and shoulder touches
Thought I had graduated to done
Isn’t there a done
There is a done, right?

Thought I had moved past the rape and molestation
I am older wiser mature and beautiful
And therefore beyond this shit

And sometimes I am
Months go by
And then the taste of strawberry soda reminds me
Of your tongue down my throat
And how helpless I felt

I am angry because any of this shit
Is even attached to my whisper of a name

I have a journal filled with snarky lines
I wish I would have said to you
When I am in traffic
I scream them into the streets
And cut you with those machete words
I should have cut you with before

Not just you
All of the yous
The yous too unworthy to mention here
The you who told me that I was a sweet girl
When I dared to fight back

You be a sweet girl!

I never called myself Wonder Woman
You did that

You said I was strong enough to take it
When I kept begging you to stop
You conflated my smile with consent
When they were never the same

Yes, I am angry
And I get to be