Camera. Pawn shop. Money.

And on a day like this, when my camera and camera accessories and laptop are in the pawn shop because of the last what seemed like was an emergency (though I don't remember the specifics now), and the doctor visit I cancelled for tomorrow morning because I don't have the money and even if I did I still need gas to get to Bakersfield and back and then to Bakersfield and back to Los Angeles on Sunday and where that money is coming from is anybody's guess and then there's the oil change that has been due and the months rent I'm already behind on and art that has been sold but shipping fees have gone up and the stress eating I'm doing and the exercising and sleeping I'm not doing and the two shows I'm producing and promoting and all the classes I'm teaching and papers I'm grading and my paycheck coming a whole eight days from now, I'm still okay. I still see light. And I'm thankful for that. Because I remember days when I could not.