Sunday at Clara's (from journal entry 7-31-11)

9:10am

I walked into Clara's at 7 this morning and got the night report from Jennifer. She told me that Clara had a "hard" night. I read the notes and saw that she called for help the whole night. Jennifer said that she didn't go to sleep until 5 this morning. She's been up on and off and I've changed her once and checked her once. I started her bath but she said she's not ready to take one because it's too cold in here. I turned the heater on and I'll give her until 10 and get it started again.

Jennifer said that there was a new caregiver here on Saturday. She isn't new to the company but new to Clara's house. She was here for three hours and called and said that someone had to come and replace her. I totally understand her.

Last night was Red Stories 7. Shay Fresh was the feature. Each month the show is completely different from the month before. We began with a discussion with the audience that Shay led. She showed a picture of her family elders who were married for 71 years. We talked about life 71 years with one persn. The love, trials, sleep and no sleep

C: Can I have milk in the coffee?

Me: I just put milk in your coffee?

C: Well it looks black as sin. Are you sure you did?

Me: Yes. Two times already.

C: Well it sure doesn't look anything like it.

...the work it takes to keep a relationship that long. Of course we could only imagine because not only were none of us 71 years old, but perhaps none of us had ever fathomed ourselves being in a 71 year marriage before.

It's interesting how we made it all sound so mythalogical. Like they were super humans. Most likely no one sets out on a 71 year journey. 71 years happens a day at a time and they handle the challenges of the day.

As for me, as awesome as 60, 70 or 79 years sound like, I'm not a numbers flosser. 71 years doesn't mean anything to me if that includes 60 years of abuse or something like that. I'm just saying that a large number doesn't equal good marriage.

Sandra Lorraine Coleman and Alice the Poet are the

C: I don't think that man's hair is real.

Me: No?

C: No, it's not real. You don't see one single gray hair. I had gray hair as a teenager.

They are the features for next month.

C: Not one gray hair. Hmph. I mean not even one on the side. No, that's not his hair.

So I asked them to read as a preview for next month. As usual, they blessed my soul. Reverdia closed the show by reading an exerpt from her novel. Yes!

Uraeus went to the show last night and everyone was so happy to see him. He was very young the last time most of them saw him. In fact, Gina Loring was there and Uraeus was about to go to kindergarten the last time she saw him.

C: Do I have a diaper on?

Me: Yes, you do.

C: Do you need a quilt at home?

Me: No thank you.

C: It says that you can get any size, even king size for $39.99 so that's $40.00.

Me: Thank you.

Uraeus starts football practice tomorrow. I'm going to take him back to Bakersfield tonight. As always, I had a great time with him even though I spent so much time working. The time we did spend was quality.

On Friday, Lynette and I took all the boys to the beach and we all had so much fun. They got in the water and swam for hours. I got in too! I love and have always loved staying up late and watching movies and sharing with my son. He is truly my favorite person in the world.

C: Do I have a diaper on?

Me: Yes.

C: Well, I'll just hold it because I don't want to run the risk of leaking.

Me: It won't leak.

C: How do you know?

Me: Because I change you all the time and it never has.

C: Well I'm gonna hold it.

Me: No. Don't do that.

C: You don't tell me what to choose. It's my choice and I'll hold it all day long if I want to.

Me: Ok.

Uraeus wants to go to the movies tonight after I get off work. I want to go too, especially with him but if I don't get off until 7 I won't get home until 7:30 and to the movies by 8. Even if the movie starts at 8 it won't be over till at least 10:30 and I wouldn't get to Bakersfield until 1am and I still have to go to work tomorrow morning at 8. It's not looking like going to the movies is going to work.

C: Do you need to do any ironing of mine?

Me: (thinking: Is she serious?) No.

C: You've already got it done?

So it felt good taking Uraeus shopping yesterday. There was a moment when I stepped away and he was at a kiosk in the mall looking at some kind of chain. He has always been very conservative with money and only spends money on something if he really likes it. I enjoyed watching him. In his teenaged body making his choices. I also love and have always loved that he chooses clothes by what he wants, not what is most popular to wear. I was like that. Still am.

I am so sleepy.

C: Is it gonna leak through?

Me: No.

C: Well I've never gone in a diaper ever before. Help me lie on the couch.

Me: What did you say?

C: (pointing at couch)

Me: You want to lay on the couch?

C: Lie! Lie! I want to lie on the couch. I don't lay eggs.

Dear Jaha,

Breathe.

12:30pm

She is asleep on the couch.

1:37pm

C: Hello! Hello!

Me: I'm here.

C: My bm came out!

Me: Ok.

C: I don't want to put you through too much trouble.

Me: It's ok.

C: Well you're gonna get a special reward for this. This is too much to ask.

Me: Turn on your right side.

C: So do you just get used to it?

Me: I guess.

C: You're gonna get a good reward in heaven you know.

Me: K. Lie on your back.

C: Where are your nearest relatives?

Me: (pause)

C: I said where are

Me: Long Beach

C: Long Beach? I'm sure they don't want to drive all the way up to a city like Los Angeles do they?

Me: They don't mind.

C: You have a daughter don't you?

Me: No.

C: Oh, I thought you had a daughter.

Me: No.

2:04pm

C: Do I have a diaper on?

Me: Yes.

C: I feel something there but it feels awfuly loose. But I guess it's ok.

Me: It's ok.

C: My friend up north...are you there?

Me: Yes.

C: Are you lying down sleeping?

Me: No, I'm here.

C: My friend up north says to me "That's all I want. That picture right there."

Me: It is a nice picture.

C: Is there anything out there for you to have a good supper?

Me: I'm ok. Are you ready for lunch?

C: Oh is it only lunch? No, I don't want anything but you make sure you eat whatever you want.

3:02pm

She's eating a tuna sandwich.

C: Where did they get the cheif for the building?

Me: Ummm...

C: He isn't much is he?

Me: Well...

C: So if I have a bm can I just go right here in my diaper.

Me: Yes.

C: You mean it won't go through?

Me: No.

C: You know, at least you're not a secretary and have to sit at a typewriter everyday. Isn't this better?

Me: Sure.

3:15pm

Less than four hours to go.

3:19pm

C: Do you do any exercises?

Me: Yes.

C: Regularly?

Me: Yes.

C: Good for you.

We are watching the abrocket twister infomercial.

C: I've gotta get one of those.

Man on infomercial: Everybody wants to look like me.

C: Sheeesh! Nobody wants to look like you. You're not proving anything. (pause) 35,000 seniors in California will pay a high cost in medical cuts. (reading paper)

4:40pm

C: Is it 7:00 yet?

Me: No, it's 4:30.

C: Are you sure? Because I don't want to miss 60 Minutes.

Me: It's not 7.

C: 60 Minutes is the longest running show ever you know.

Me: Yes.

C: Everybody watches 60 Minutes.

A little over two hours to go. This is when I get antsy.

I said a prayer for Selina Cass and her friends and family. We are watching the news and they announced that she is eleven and missing. I didn't hear how long she has been missing. That is always sad to hear.

My supervisor called and said that they are looking for someone to work the Friday through Sunday shift at Debra's. I told her that I would do it if she would get someone to work there for me from 8a to 7p or at least to 4p tomorrow. That way I'll have a little room to rest from Bakersfield tonight.

C: Help! Help!

Me: I'm right here.

C: I need a diaper!

Me: Ok.

C: Well I have a fresh one on.

Me: Then what's wrong?

C: Well I just wanted to let you know that I might go.

Me: Ok.

C: Well I need someone to bring a new one.

Me: Ok.

5:07pm

C: Where is the remote to my TV? Is it down there?

Me: No, I haven't seen it.

C: How much are they?

Me: I don't know.

C: I mean when people steal them, how much can they get?

5:28pm

C: Isn't it time for 60 Minutes?

Me: No, it's only 5:30.

C: (laughs)

An hour and a half left.

5:52pm

C: Hello!

Me: I'm here.

C: Hello! Hello!

Me: I'm right here.

C: I need a diaper.

Me: You have one on.

C: So I can just go?

Me: Yes.

C: Well, I don't need to anyway.

We are watching a commercial.

C: Hi fatty (to actress). What are you taking for all that?

6:08pm

Tick tock

C: Someone took my...my? I forgot. But they took it.

6:10pm

6:11pm

I am sitting on the couch behind her watching and listening to her read the label on the cream I put on her skin when I change her. I remember that my grandfather used to do that during his time of deminshia. He read everything. Now that's what she's doing.

C: Keep away from eyes.

And I notice, as I've noticed before that she is really beautiful. Her bone structure, her high cheeks and small chin.

C: It's really poisonious.

The words we speak and how we speak them make us look unattractive.

C: It's for the anal area. Avoid irratation. Not only don't eat it but don't put it on deep or punctured wounds. Cantact a doctor right away. Don't get any in your mouth. (to me) You're supposed to put this on irrated skin three to four times a day.

Me: Yes. I do.

6:19pm

6:22pm

C: Are you there?

Me: Yes.

C: You oughta go to this. It's a taste of L.A. or something like that. It says there will be thirty of L.A.'s greatest restaurants and more than thirty wine companies. It's September 2-5. That would be worth it for anyone who is out. I don't have a car and I can't walk around so I can't go to this. My God, someone would go stay there all day wouldn't they?

She laughed and I laughed with her because it's nice to hear her laugh.

C: Here's a nice little ring. It says it's an engagement ring. Take a guess at how much it is.

Me: It's probab

C: It's $4,200. Yes it is. It's platinum you know. (pause) How many miles is Manhattan Beach?

Me: About forty.

C: Forty? Well no wonder they don't get up here often. Gas and all. I haven't had my license in a long time you know. Oh, is this the one I told you about?

Me: Yes.

C: More than thirty restaurants. That's going to be nice. I haven't been Beverly Hills shopping in a long time. That's an engagement ring? But who cares? I never did care that much about jewelry. You?

Me: No.

6:34pm

C: Where is my phone? Do you have that number handy for the people who change my diaper?

Me: I'll change it.

C: (laughs) Oh no, I don't have my personal friends change my diapers. Just give me the number and they'll come. That's practically all they do anyway.

6:42pm