This post will be a mess. Deal. I'm tired of being treated unfairly. Tired of folks treating me any ole way. This message is for my CLI students. I will not be returning to class because I was fired. By email. Apparently some students had "issues" with me. Issues they never spoke to me about. Issues that could have been worked out. I didn't know about any of these issues until I got a text from the director telling me to check my email. Then there they were. All my issues laid out like an Easter suit. With the purse, the lace socks and white shoes.
I want you all to know that I would never leave you in the middle of your projects on my own. I don't have a complete class list or I would just email you. To those of you I helped along the way, you can still reach out. I was about to apologize to those who had issues with me but I won't. I hope you work out whatever is in you that had you not approach me like a grown-up. Because we all grown right?
I mean, where was my conversation, my write up? Nowhere. It was nowhere. Where they do that at anyway? Who gets fired because somebody said something to somebody else and nobody said anything to me? And it's not about the job because I already have a client filling those Monday night hours. Because #hustle because #godisgood because #theshowdontstop. It's about years of loyalty and stress and working for very little pay to have feelings swept under the rug and then have the whole rug burned.
I'm tired of people knowing that I'm going to be the nice one and walk away quietly like a good black girl. I'm tired of being expected to disappear like a snowflake a whisper a fart.
Yep. There was another way to do this. But there was also another way to get fired. I'm disappointed in the overall bitch ass way this was handled. I told y'all before that I worked in a hospice a long time ago. Well the patients who didn't have family and friends showing up got treated worse than the ones who did. I'm tired of being treated like I'm unpeopled. I'm tired of knowing that when people treat me a certain way, that there is somebody he/she/they wouldn't dare treat like that. Why me? Because I coat my throat with white girl so you ain't scared? Because I let you touch my hair that time? Because you saw me cry? That make me weak? That make my feelings a nothing thing?
I almost said no hard feelings. But that's my nice slipping out again. Don't it slip out? Hard feelings. Because this didn't have to be like this. Because you could have come to me.
Maybe you will learn. Learn everybody ain't gon just take it. Ain't gon just disappear because you snapped your finger. Ain't gon read your mind and just obey. Maybe you should thank me for not being the problem I can be. Yet. Maybe I will learn too. I sure hope I do. Hope I learn to value myself the whole way through. Hope I learn that all my extra giving don't get rewarded.
This is me. Becoming more tree than weeble that wobbles but don't stay down. I'm too old and fat and tired of up downs. This is me. Doing how I do. Calling the foul.
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