Deja

my niece lives basketball
softball
soccer

she loves to play
in a crowd of Mexican boys
she is the brown shinned
black girl whizzing by
with ball at foot

braided black hair
small mouse face
holding brown wide eyes
eager to know

are we there yet

star of every show
pink tights
cloth boots
bows and head bands
belts and bell bottoms

she dance to whatever tune you play
aint got no shame about it
no matter the crowd

breathes beyond the fear
at any fight
stands a foot under her brother
but taller than any tree you name

long legs
hoop dreams

Deja is a river

racing through
grades
sports plays
Sundays

she spins, turns and skates
grass
flowers
houses
birds
she swoop through the street so fast

Deja is the sun

laughing at the wind
crying with the worms

park
beach
school
church
home
sky
thunder
unicorn
fairy

this world is small
Deja can hold this globe
betwen the space
in her teeth

we better hope
she don't bite down one day

we can learn something from Deja

how to play
when to cry
why to laugh
always to forgive

loving to be

What is Red Stories?

"What is Red Stories?" Well, Red Stories is a monthly event I created and host that happens the last Saturday of each month that features one or two special guests. The guests are usually poets or musicians (but will expand soon). You know how usually when you go to a poetry event there are about maybe ten or so poets and you get to hear the poets do maybe ten minutes each? They share about two or three poems. Well, I am a poet and I enjoy those nights. I enjoy hearing the talent of each poet. Sometimes, especially with poets that simply blow me away I want to know more about them. Their story. I want to hear more.

Enter Red Stories. I created this event because I wanted to give my favorite artists a chance to really stretch out and share their talents as well as their story. This opportunity is not just for the artist but also for the audience. Yes you, the audience. At Red Stories you get a chance to know the artists in a way you won't get to on any other stage. Sort of a "Behind the Music" each month from the artists mouth. You may ask questions, have conversations and engage in ways you won't be able to at many venues.

I wanted to create a show that I, as an artist would want to be a part of. I would love for a promoter to call me up and say, "Hey Jaha, would you come down to my event and share your story? Tell a few poems sure, but really tell YOUR story in your voice. Speak to my audience. And get paid for it."

Where is Red Stories? It started at the theatre at Lucy Florence in Leimert Park in November of last year and then moved over to Blessed Vibrations at 2435 Manchester Blvd., Inglewood, CA where we are now. The doors open at 7pm and it's magic time from then on. Guests in the past have been Makeda Kumasi, Nikki Blak, Kevin Sandbloom, Deana Verse, Reverdia Trammell, Red Storm, Food 4 Thought, Socks, Lynette White and Janet Gonzalez. This month, June 25 I am honored to say we have Venela Flagg (V Kali). The cover is only $10 and you get a serious treat. Really, come out and enjoy. I hope to see you there.

Jaha Zainabu

Saturdays

there is a white couch
always a white couch
or white covers
and plants
leafy plants in cream pots

a wall of my paintings
of children
green
white
purple
black
orange children
playing
running

a ceiling fan spinning slowly
a rainy day and Breakfast at Tiffany's
The Cotton Club, Sparkle, Mahagony Brown
Law and Order marathon
CSI
something
and you

with your reading glasses and gray at you temples
scrabble game unfinished on the coffee table
wine glasses
red
white
champagne
strawberries
bagels
pizza
clam chowder
whatever

my feet in your mix matched tube socks
three blue stripes
four green

we lay on the couch
white couch
white covers
or cream
whatever

you wear white footies
I massage your toes through the socks
as I solve each case
NCIS
The Closer
The Good Wife
who cares

eggs
grits
cheese
pepper

chips
hummus
chicken

you are reading
a book you've read before
with pen
circling sentences
making notes

thunder
lightening
t shirts
boxers
sweat pants

we laugh at the commercials
ignore texts
you answer your phone
put your head in my lap
my lips on your forehead
nose
cheeks as you talk

I sit on the floor
you rub my shoulders
neck
back

shave my head
olive oil on my scalp

peach wine cooler
scrabble game continues
dishes pile

poetry
stories
Eric B and Rakim
Ice Cube
Guru
LL Cool J
Donny Hathaway
Aretha Franklin

Fyodor Dostoyevsky
John Grisham
Judy Blume
James Baldwin
Toni Morrison
Terry McMillan

this is our weekend
that starts on
white couch
cream walls
black and white photos
of you
falling asleep
writing
reading

of me
wishing

Red Stories 5

Red Stories went sooooo well last night. Thank You, thank You, thank You, God! The stories, the place, the vibe, the room was packed, the folks were beautiful. Janet Gonzalez was my guest last night and she was awesome. We began the show by reading each others work. Something I never do. I loved it. Janet had her Mexican fire poetry dripping all over the place! AAAAAWWWWWWEEEEEE! That's me, screaming. Still.

Excerpt from my novella THE NIKEL

Chapter 2

The melodic sound of the rain early early that morning fell on the trees, the roof, against the window, made Obrey think of the rabbit. The crackling thunder brought the desire for warm strong arms around her body and the smell of the empty merlot glass at the side of her bed made it even more tempting. Unlike the strong arms, the pink rabbit was always there. Always. Whether she was moody or not, shaved her legs and armpits and painted her nails or not, had done fifty sit ups the night before or not. It called from the cherry wood nightstand with three deep drawers and a lock that held her journals, secrets, bills, prayers, sketches, receipts, taxes, taxes! She rolled over and pulled open the top drawer and wondered where her favorite vibrator could be, then remembered that she threw it away with the box of silk and cotton scarves Amad had given her. On birthdays, Christmases, New Years Days, apology days, just because days.

She was angry and he would pay. She couldn't remember what the fight was about that day. Or was it a fight? No. It wasn't a fight. Not a fight at all. It was a message. Clear, straight from the trees. Stop fucking with him. Of course messages from Spirit had never come so crass before and maybe this was not from above after all. Still, she would momentairly obey. Who needed him? Red ones, blue ones, white ones. Not the white ones. The white ones too. They were her favorite of all the scarves he had given her because they reminded her of her mother. But they had to go in the box and even the rabbit. Yes, even the rabbit because this was serious and she needed to teach him a lesson. Obrey needed to show him that she didn't want him. Needed to show herself. But that was then. And on that night when she wasn't angry anymore, but missed him in her bed, wanted him there, wanted to talk, wanted to talk and not talk and make up, the rabbit was gone too.

I'm baaaaack

I haven't posted on this blog in ten days. If you are a regular reader of my blog then you know that I am usually much more regular than that. ("It's been a long time, I shouldn'a left you, times up, sorry I kept you..." I couldn't resist throwing in RaKim's lyrics right there.) Anyway, I've been working and have not had my laptop tethered to me as I usually do. So what's going on? Well, my life is going on. There are areas that are working and areas that are not and inside of that I find my own ways to be powerful, learn lessons and hopefully inspire others. Thankfully, through everything, I am on my path. I am living my call.

As far as writing goes these days, I'm mostly inspired by essays. I like the work of essays. With any writing there is always the rewriting and rewriting over and over. Essays give me the opportunity to exercise my vocabulary muscle and use words I don't often use in other work. Although often I fall to my favorite style of country talk, city slick, make up my own words style. Whatever.

So, I started this post to get myself back in the blog groove. I didn't know what was going to come out of my head and through my fingers and here it turns out to be about writing. Go figure. Anyway, check out the essays to come and your comments are always appreciated.

Enjoy yourself today.

The blessings 4

I haven't been able to log onto this blog in a few days. Due to a few reasons: I've been busy and by the time I get to sleep that's what I want to do. For a few hours one day there was work being done on the server. I took that to be Spirit telling me to stay in the moment living my life and being observant to the doors that keep opening all around me.

In the past few days I got a new job and a new performance gig. Both of which I am uber excited about and neither of which I will give details on right now. But know that God is AWESOME and does not show up right on time but is ALWAYS THERE and I see Him when I open my eyes.

I have put it to the test and I promise it works. What my mind is focused on is what has been growing in my life. I look for the blessings and miracles each day and each day they show up. Each day I recognize that the blessings were only waiting for me to acknowledge and accept them.

I know that my life is not about what I do, but how I make room for Spirit to be.

On my path to developing my mind I am intentional about keeping my thoughts pure and not talking or thinking negatively about others. It is a challenge I fail many times in the day. Failing has helped me see how cluttered in the past with judgements and negativity. Judgement is judgement. Yes, even the really nice kind when you say "I'm not trying to judge or anything, I'm just sayin'..." Yes, lose that negativity too.

I am loving me today. Are you loving you?

Agape affirmations

God's universe is a friendly place! I am safe!
Spontaneous goodness flows from my utter reliance on Spirit!
My heart extends through my hands. I am in service to divine love!
High, inspired thoughts of God are the guiding angels on my path!
I am immersed in a field of infinite possibilities and unlimited potential!
Mighty miracles demonstrate through my ever-evolving consciousness!
Gratefully I live these words of truth!
And so it is! Amen!

Agape meditative thought

"Gratitude is the opposite of complaining. Honestly check in with yourself: Is the backdrop of our thinking gratitude - giving thanks for what is - or are you incessantly complaining about what you imagine you don't have and think you should have, or do have and don't want? In your answer lies whether or not you identify more with your true identity as the Self, content inits own being, or if you are stuck in the ego's whining, self-absorbed attachments.

Gratitude rests upon the solid rock of trust, the circle of trust built in relationship with Spirit. We no longer resist what is, or what is not. Ours becomes a life of surrender, loving the Giver more than its gifts. Then we are in the flow of the wa things really are, and God's Life is consciusly our own. Live that!"

Michael Bernard Beckwith

The blessings 3

it was easy
the conversation
connection
the smile

mostly the smile

i like this part
the beginning
the words
sharing
worlds

The blessings 2

Last Sunday Reverdia and I sat in the back room at Vibrations and talked. Shared. We talked about what matters to poets. We talked about words and how we use them and throw them away like they are nothing. Reverdia and I know that they are not...nothing. We made a pact with each other that we would remember to cherish our words and remember that our words produce what is real in our worlds. Especially the words we say about ourselves. For women, I think, especially women who are sensitive about the weight of words and women who use words for a living, the crimes we commit the most often are the lies we tell about ourselves. The way we kill ourselves with our own words. This, I think, is worse than suicide. Because we kill ourselves and then wake up to kill ourselves again.

On this blog I posted a series of posts called bus stories. I even have a new book called My bus stories. Side note, the book is not complete in its most finished form but I have been selling the manuscript. The posts are real in the book. I write about the drama and stories and sayings I hear and see on the buses and trains I take mostly in Los Angeles. There are many. I noticed that keeping the journal of the bus stories made riding public transportation a bit easier. Funnier. I found myself looking forward to the next bus to see what the next drama was going to be. And there was always something. Such is life. Such are our thoughts. What we are looking for usually shows up. So this led me to create the next series of posts that I hope you will read and be inspired by as well. The next series will be the blessings posts. I will rename that eventually because it sounds (very hi pitched voice here) a liiiiiittle bit corny.

In the blessings posts I will share those moments and miracles when God made a way for me when it seemed like there was no way. Those days when The Great Mother gently ushered me out of harms way. Those hours when Awesome Father protected me and opened doors for me that I could not open myself. Doors that were not going to be opened anyway. Sometimes when we are in a pinch, and by we I mean I, we forget that we have been there before. We wonder how we will ever see our way through. Wonder who we can call on. We forget that God has always been there. We forget that the Universe is always in support of our highest good. Always.

I am a list maker. I love lists. Groceries, friends, people to invite to my shows, my favorite whatevers. Lists. I guess this is no different. The blessings series will be me listing, if you will, God's blessings to me. As if I could ever complete it! What this does for me is remind me that He has always been there. Just as the bus stories kept me looking for the next bus drama, the blessings posts will keep me looking for God's next miracle and reminding me that I am always embraced and held securely in Her bosom.

And that's the blessing to share today. The blessing of remembering God's love. I usually wake up very early to start my day. Sometimes I don't actually leave the house until the afternoon but I get up and get dressed because staying in bed is not so good for me too often. You know the saying about an idle mind? Well, yeah. My mind gets bored with too much rest and starts drudging up old conversations and dramas and pieces of my past that are not good for me and from there I can slip into a depression I don't easily come out of. And so, I love myself enough to get up. I love myself enough to remember that I am made in the image of God. A God who loves me. Who KNOWS me. A God who sets my mind on the right path. Yes, that's the blessing to share. I woke up this morning in my right mind. A mind willing and ready to think on goodness. A mind excited about producing love in world.

What's on your mind?

The blessings 1

I was on the plane coming from New York going home to Georgia (when I was living in Georgia.) I didn't have any cash on me and no one was coming to pick me up from the airport. I said a quiet prayer and made a request to God that I get a ride from the shuttle service from the airport to my exit in McDonough for only $20. I knew full well that the fee is usually $80. I said the prayer and rested the in knowing that God is always working everything out for my highest good.

When I got off of the plane I walked over to the shuttle station and the vans and drivers were all lined up. I walked to the first driver and asked how much he would charge me to take me to McDonough. "$80." He told me. I thanked him and went to the next one and asked him. He said the same thing so I went to the next one and asked him. He said, "Well, I don't even go to McDonough." I asked, "Yeah, but how much would you charge me to take me there?" He said, "Weeeelll, I do go past there. I'll let you off at the exit for $20." I thanked him and got on the shuttle.

God is always looking out. Always. I know it.