Hope. Energy. Airbnb.

8:20am. At Dietra's. The sun brings hope again. I feel better today. Still concerned. Still ready to be somewhere stable. But I'm ok. I'm healthy. Whatever lesson there is for me to learn I hope I'm learning.

My morning Tuesday meeting in Pasadena was cancelled today and that's a good thing. I have to do some running with Uraeus and have very little gas and don't get paid until Thursday. We'll make it. Thankfully I slept well last night so I have some good energy to do what I have to do today. Taking deep breaths. Praying. Being still. Speaking kind to myself. I'm doing all the positive things I know to do to keep my head good. To stay above water emotionally. It's working for now. Let's hope it continues.

I think I'm going to book a couple of weeks at Curtis's airbnb when we leave here. That's been Uraeus's favorite place and I'd like to surprise him. Well, gonna get started on letting this be a great day. I hope you have one too.

Love yourselves.

Gratitude

I am thankful for this day
For an uplifting conversation with Charlene last night
For Dietra
Uraeus
Friends
Family
For feeling better today than I felt last night
Thankful for hope
Thankful for work and a check coming soon
Love
Shelter
Good health

Holding on

Now

I need to take a nap. I really do.

Yes

Watch me get through this. Watch.

This happened

Tired. Venting. Pray.

7:40pm. At Dietra's. I'm ok but I'm also getting a little scared. A little worried. Concerned. Tired. This where are we going to be thing is hard. Dietra is leaving in a couple of days and we will be here. I will be taking care of her grandmother. We're straight for the next week and I have that time to figure out something for after that. I have been doing the praying I know. The positive self talk I know. Uraeus has interviews tomorrow and that's good. We need more though. I'm thankful for this blog right now because it's my place to vent. I am scared about doing this without the meds. I know I talked shit about the meds but... I have to find some free therapy somewhere. I have to. What the fuck am I going to do? If you are reading this please just let me vent. I don't know how open to suggestions I am right now. Pray. I wasn't feeling like this this morning but I am right now. Even if the feelings go away the reality will be the same unless some miracle happens. Pray for a miracle.

Deja, me

I am so proud of my niece, Deja!

Go Deja!

Left over balloons from Deja's going away party last night. She's on her way to CSUN! She won't be far but she will be starting a new chapter. She will be playing basketball with them and will be a great addition to the team. I'm so proud of her!

Yes we are

Long Beach. Morning. Day.

8:19am. I'm in Long Beach at my sister's. We had a going away party for Deja last night. It was wonderful. I came in after the party was winding up but it seemed everyone had a good time. There was plenty of food and decorations and some folks when I got here after work. It was good being with my family.

I am off today but have errands to run with Uraeus in Santa Monica. After that we will be heading back to Dietra's in Inglewood. I am praying for a good day and hope you have one too.

Love yourselves.

Gratitude

I am thankful for this day
For peace
Family
Celebrations
Uraeus
Friends
Love
Work
Art
Determination