Good morning. Still sugar free.

Good morning all. It's 6:27 and I am happy to say I slept so well. It's Red Stories day today. I love Red Stories day. If you are in the Los Angeles area come out and join me there at Vibrations at 2435 Manchester, Inglewood at 7:30pm. The features tonight are Korlah and Big Arch! I'm hosting the show. I do hope to see you there.

Red Stories plug out of the way, I've been doing well. I did not go walking yesterday so I know I need to go today. Either walking or swimming. I know that I cannot half do my daily exercise which is what I'm starting to do. I am proud of myself for staying away from sugar for this long. It's a challenge every day but I've been doing it. When I am tempted I remind myself that whatever it is I want to put in my mouth won't last very long but the cost of a depression trigger will last and it's just not worth it.

Well I have some work to do today but before I get started on it I'm going to get a few more hours of sleep. I'll connect later. I hope you all have a great day. I intend to.

Friday already

Good morning beautiful people. It's Friday again. It came quickly I think. I'm sitting in Starbucks with my mint tea that I probably won't be able to drink for another hour or so because the water is so crazy hot. But that's cool. Aint nothin' gonna take my joy, ain't nothin' gonna bring me down, oh no, I got to keep on moving'. Or however the song goes. It's therapy day and that happens early and her office is right next door to the Starbucks. That's part of what makes us a match. True it's a small part because she's a great therapist.

I didn't go swimming yesterday and the only walking I did was the walk around the block with my client. What's good about me walking with her is that it takes her a while to get around the block so I get to soak up some good ole sun rays.

I go to work today after I leave here. My plan is to go swimming tonight after work but I really don't know. I do have a few other things to do. I gotta move every day though. Gotta keep that up.

I've made some progress in a particular area of my life and so am looking forward to sharing that with her today. I'm just blah blazing right now when I should be making my way to the restroom before I head upstairs to her office.

Y'all have a good day now, ya hear!

Morning all

Good morning all. It's 5:54 right now and I am up feeling great. I'm glad that I went swimming yesterday. I feel amazing and I slept very well. I may go hiking after work. Maybe. If I don't then I'll go for a walk or something. But something. Also I've been doing very well staying away from sugar. I did have a cheat yesterday. I had two small bowls of dried cereal. Mini wheats frosted somethings.

I'm going to try to go back to sleep for a little while then get ready for work. Oh, I picked up some vitamin B12 yesterday. I took some valerian root last night for sleep and I guess it worked. Or it could have been the swimming that had me so tired. I also took an iron pill yesterday. Tomorrow I'll pick up some St. John's Wort.

Well that's the 411 on my new medication so far and my physical activity. I'm still on the journey. I have a way to go but I'm taking one step at a time. This feel so much better than the numb feeling I had when I was taking the other meds. I am thankful for this day and for being in my right mind and for the desire to participate fully in this day.

I am also thankful for my son and mostly thankful that Uraeus is God's son and is so loved by the most High Mother/Father.

Well before I fully wake up, I'm going to see if I can get a little more sleep. Not that I need it. I'm just being greedy now.

Have a great day everyone. I intend to.

Motivating myself to swim today

It's 3:33 pm and I am off work. I taught my class today then shot the musicians performing at the event at 7th and Fig today. I said I was going swimming and am still trying to motivate myself to do so. The pool closes at 7 so I have a little time to chill if I choose. Of course we know the problem with choosing to chill for "a little while" now don't we. But no, I'm going to do it. It's for my health, I keep telling myself. I know I will feel better once I grab the towel and get in the car.

Morning. Earthquake.

Good morning all. It's 3:50 am and I am up. There was an earthquake at 3:21.

Sweet time

Just came back from a walk with my client. She's 87 and I love how she takes the time to kiss, touch and talk to every tree, plant and flower she can reach along the path. It's my lesson and opportunity to breathe. To take in the moment, and then the next and then on to the next tree.

photos from 7th and Fig show last Wednesday

Morning all

Good morning all. It's about 8 and I am up and getting ready to head out to teach my creative writing class then go and meet my client. I have a full day today and that's cool. I'm looking forward to all of it.

I am thankful for the opportunity to see this day and participate powerfully in it. To make choices with my sound mind. I am thanful for the opportunity to love and be loved. I am thankful for family and friends. I am thankful for forgiveness and freedom.

I hope that you all enjoy your day today.

The sugar connection to depression

As many of you know, in March of this year I was diagnosed as bipolar 2. I am experimenting with different types of healing methods to see what works best for me. From March until about two weeks ago I was on medication. I stopped taking the meds because I didn't like how numb I felt. Always. I am now trying more natural methods and am tracking what's working and not working here on this blog.

I greatly believe that there is a connection between the depression side of bipolar and sugar. So I gave, really...giving up, sugar. Hey, it's a process. I've been staying at my mom's place this week because it's summer vacation and my son, nephew and niece have been on a marathon playdate here at the house. I mentioned that to say that I don't control what kinds of food come into the house. I said yesterday that there are a few chocolate bars in the refridgerator calling my name. I resisted. But that doesn't mean I didn't sugar cheat. I had two gingerales and a root beer soda. I also had two cups of dry fruit loops and two small bowls of rasin bran cereal. In a day, that is a lot of sugar.

When my depression is triggered I begin to cry and have a great desire to be alone. I allowed myself the small sugar cheats as a reward for ignoring the chocolate. At about 9 last night I felt the tears coming and the desire to be alone. The disease has me check in with myself quite often. I quickly started adding up how much sugar I had eaten and drank yesterday. I said a prayer and decided to go to bed. Prayer and rest are very important. No tears in the bed just a dedication to do much better on my diet the next day. And I am committed.

It's now 2:39am and as is common with people who are bipolar, I rarely sleep through the night. Writing, blogging, painting are better activities for me than staring at the ceiling trying to follow the wooden blades of the fan above me. Of those activities I enjoy blogging the most lately at this time of morning. Just before I got up I was thinking about how many times I have crashed mentally and wished now that I had kept a food journal then. But better late than never right? I do remember though that the day before I drove myself to the hospital I was on my way home and was already feeling very very low and very very anxious at the same time. I pulled over to get gas and also bought five tootsie rolls. You know, the ten cents ones at the register calling our names. Well, I answered in a moment I was weakest. I didn't know then what I know for sure now about sugar and how awful it is for my mind.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted. Oh, and of course my treatment includes more than just not eating sugar. I also have to exercise daily, stay away from white flour (which I also had yesterday) and take supplements which I listed on a recent previous entry. Please check it out. I did go for a short walk yesterday. I'm trying to be in the sun for at least fifteen minutes a day to get some of that good natural vitamin d. Like I said folks, it's a process and I'll keep you posted. I usually do.

Enjoy yourselves today.

I cheated

I cheated and had a slice and a half of pizza but I didn't andi won't have the chocolate!

Chocolate calling

As bad as I know sugar is for me, and by bad I mean it triggers my depression spells, I still want the chocolate bar in my mom's refridgerator. I keep making excuses to myself like, ok, Sunday can be my cheat day and I can have whatever I want. When I look at how serious the disorder is and how much sugar affects me then I know how crazy it is to cheat. It's like someone addicted to crack allowing himself a cheat day once a week.

I love myself more than I want chocolate.

How funny, just as I close this post on saying no to chocolate the kids walk in with a box of pizza. White flour is as bad as sugar.
Sheesh, maybe I should go home. But then the sound of the children playing basketball in the backyard, laughing and trash talking. Priceless. Who's afraid of chocolate and pizza?

Another path to healing

Yesterday I met with a friend who was diagnosed with bipolar 2, as I was. Instead of medication she is managing the disease with natural remedies. I have taken myself off of the medication and met with her to discuss other options.

We sat on the sand at Venice Beach loving the sun on our faces and our feet in the sand and talked. About life and healing. Sugar is the devil. I say that all the time. She agreed. The first thing she knew to do was release the sugar from her diet. Not just adding sugar to food and drinks but not eating or drinking anything with sugar in them. This of course includes alcohol. She also gave up white flour and foods containing it. I'm on board with all of this. Her recommendation for supplements are St. Johns Wort, valerian root (for sleeping), B12. Also daily exercise and acupuncture twice a month. Again, I'm on board with all of this though I may add vitamin d and fish oil. She said she tried the fish oil but had a funny feeling about it. I'll try it and see how it fits.

Yesterday Uraeus, Deja and I went swimming and then to the beach. I'm so glad I went. I am considering swimming every day. Or at least every other. Between that and walking I think I'll be pretty straight. Until I come up with something else.

Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes. I usually do.

Enjoy yourselves today. I will.