Gratitude

Thankful for this day
Just because
Because I can
See
Feel
Hear
Smell
Work
Love
Repair
Remember
Forget
Forgive
Grow
Again

Mandela

Ok, great. Nelson Mandela has not died. Still critical though. Lingering.

Phillis Wheatley

An Hymn To The Morning

ATTEND my lays, ye ever honour'd nine,
Assist my labours, and my strains refine;
In smoothest numbers pour the notes along,
For bright Aurora now demands my song.
Aurora hail, and all the thousand dies,
Which deck thy progress through the vaulted skies:
The morn awakes, and wide extends her rays,
On ev'ry leaf the gentle zephyr plays;
Harmonious lays the feather'd race resume,
Dart the bright eye, and shake the painted plume.
Ye shady groves, your verdant gloom display
To shield your poet from the burning day:
Calliope awake the sacred lyre,
While thy fair sisters fan the pleasing fire:
The bow'rs, the gales, the variegated skies
In all their pleasures in my bosom rise.
See in the east th' illustrious king of day!
His rising radiance drives the shades away--
But Oh! I feel his fervid beams too strong,
And scarce begun, concludes th' abortive song. 

Phillis Wheatley

Zimmerman

Watching the George Zimmerman trial will be way too triggering for me. I will watch as much of it as I can. I can't not. Zimmerman's attorney began his opening statements with a knock knock joke. Nobody laughed and he was surprised. Yeah, we're in for a journey here.

Here's a clue

People are defensive to the level they feel attacked. Folks generally don't walk up to you and start explaining themselves or their actions in the crunk voice. Maybe they are responding to you.

Prayers for Nelson Mandela in critical condition in Pretoria.

Run. Snowden. Run.

A poem a day for 2013 - day 174 - Praise for new day to again

Here's to waking up again
For showering again
Remembering the ups and ocean of yesterday
And being grateful for life new today

Even when I sink so low I know that I will die
To sink to the thought that being swallowed whole by whale
Is option
I do not
I do not die I swim
I am a swimmer
Big up to my ancestors
I hold my breath and swim to air
And rising above sea level is the same as heaven to my lungs
Because for the moment I am free
Free to again again

Do you know what it is like to question every thought
Every emotion you ever have
To be afraid to reach out because you do not have a pain someone else can measure
Because it is easier for them to tell you it is all in your head
Than to sit through an episode with you because
Aint nobody got time for your that
Because your that is different from their that
That you had time for

This is the path
Always wondering if this sinking is the journey
Into depression
Into the mud of hiding and fixing a smile
The pull to stay awake and be social and pretend that the triggers aren't triggering
But they are
They are firing off like July
Like war
Like family

Do you know the courage it takes to
Be vulnerable enough to express disappointment
And hurt feelings to be reminded that you
Are the sensitive one who takes things the wrong way
And so what about the wrong way
A left turn will get you to the main drag
If you ride it long enough and ask the right questions
But we don't
We shut down
We dismiss
I quit
Trying

I self evaluate
I check in
I recall labels stamped long side my body
Like medication
Bipolar
Depression
Hyper mania
Too sensitive
Be trippin'
Moody
Paranoia
Tears won't stop
Sleep won't come

It is easy to sink in all this wash
This spin
To give up
To leave
To leave leave

It is easy to blame it on my moody
When the only problem is my mouth
That won't open and say
Hear. Me. Out.
When the only problem is my nice
That won't make a scene
Because good girls sit pretty
And you remember that your scene is disruptive
But a Holy Ghost shout is a dance
And sometimes it's not me
Sometimes it Really. Is. You.

And I wear "too sensitive" like badge
Because at least I feel it all
At all
And playing nice is growing too old school for my capabilities

Then I wake up
Feel my hands
And these hands aint new
These the same hands
My feet and legs too
This face these eyes this nose
And I honor Creator for making me me
Because I wouldn't be nobody else

Because I am the same me who can at least shake a hand
Give a hug
Fix a sandwich if I aint got a dollar to give
I am a pullin' over somebody if I see you on a bus stop
Take these shoes
This blanket
This whiskey for your chill

I wear empath like saint
I know what to say when
And when not to say what
Baby, I can sit with you
Lay your story in my lap
I will listen and believe
And if it is all in your head I will know
Your head matters
Like ground
Like the wall against your back
Like water
Like real life
Like God

Janice at the Gray Family Reunion service night

My super talented, beautiful, awesome aunt doing what she does so well.

Gray Family Reunion service night - Rev. Gilbert Chambers (cousin)

A poem a day for 2013 - day 173 - Because God

Because Spirit is bigger than gender
Because Connection and Force is outside the understanding of human label
Because God is not an old white man sitting in a 14 karat gold chair just above the clouds

Protector and Friend is everywhere
Is inside whisper and breeze
In skin and water
Provider is biscuit and shade
Healer is herb and fish
Father is friend and shepherd

God is more
God is all
God is Counselor
Doctor
Companion
Compassion
Great Giver

God is too All for list and knowing
God is so Brother
So Mother
So everything I need

The line

Dave Frost and Jane Gray were slaves
The Frost family owned Dave
The Gray Family owned Jane
Jane convinced the Gray family to buy Dave so they could be married
Jane was quite a somebody

Dave and Jane Gray had fourteen children
Some of those children were slaves
Elbert Gray was one born of Dave and Jane
Elbert was not a slave
Elbert Gray married Annie Reed
Elbert and Annie had sixteen children
Omega Gray was their youngest child
Omega married Therman Davis

Omega and Therman Davis had twelve children
Patricia Davis is one of those children

Patricia married Joseph Reed
Patricia and Jospeh Reed had two children

I am the first of those children