New space. Happy. Nap.

Friday, November 16, 2018 3:08pm. Inglewood

We checked into the Airbnb at noon today. It's beautiful and Uraeus really likes it. I think what he likes most is that he gets his own room. I'm happy. Despite my circumstances I know that I am really blessed. God came through again last night. A friend sent me some money and the refund for the room in Beverly Hills came through at the same time. So we got a little food last night and we will go shopping again tonight. I am thankful.

I just had the best nap. I needed it too. I trust Uraeus is relaxing in his room. Now that I have napped I'm looking to be called for work. I was hoping to be working every day this week. Prayerfully someone will call. I have to push my books too. It's almost time for royalty checks and I'm trying to get a big one.

I haven't taken many pictures in a while maybe I'll go for a walk and get some shots of the neighborhood. Take care

Love yourselves.

Uraeus. Job. Meds later.

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today but I cancelled it. I chose to take Uraeus to his interview instead. Besides I just wasn't feeling seeing him. I'm still dealing with John's death and my own situation. I don't need a refill in meds and I didn't have anything I wanted to talk to him about. I'll see him next month.

Provider. Pay later. Dietra's.

God keeps showing up as Provider. The owner of the Airbnb where we will be staying starting tomorrow said I could pay him in December. That's perfect because I have a gig in Atlanta at the end of November. God is good. We will be at Dietra's again tonight. I am thankful.

Also, Uraeus's job interview went really well.

Keep us in your prayers.

Love yourselves.

Memory of John

My Uncle John passed away yesterday. My favorite memory of him was when I was in junior high school and he called me at the beginning of the week to ask if I wanted to go to dinner with him. I said yes. He said "You see how I'm calling you on Monday for Friday? If a man is not doing that for you then he doesn't deserve you." When he showed up he said "You see how I showed up at the time I said I would? If a man is not doing that for you then he doesn't deserve you." He gave lessons like that throughout the night. I miss him. Fly, Uncle John. Fly.

No Beverly Hills. Dietra. Pizzas.

Well we didn't end up staying at the hotel in Beverly Hills. The room was affordable but the security deposit was a million dollars (kind of). And we already booked the room so we have to wait to get it back.

Also, my uncle died. Uncle John Davis. He died on my son's birthday. His death hit me hard. While I was dealing with that Uraeus jokingly (bug not) said "well we can sleep in the car." My heart broke into a million pieces that this is where we are.

I called Dietra and she offered us space in her house again. God is still faithful. We showed up with a couple of pizzas and now we're getting ready for tomorrow. Uraeus has an interview tomorrow so pray saints.
Keep us both in your prayers.

Love yourselves.

Uraeus's birthday!

It's 5:04pm and we are about to leave Long Beach. We had a good day. My mom, Uraeus and I went to PF Chang's and celebrated his birthday. I thought he would order a drink for the first time but he didn't. That might be something he does with his father. A man to man thing. Well he's in the car now so we're about to head off. Please keep us in your prayers.

Love yourselves.

Special note

I am typing these posts on my phone and can hardly see the little print so please excuse any errors because I can't seem to get back into the post from my phone and make corrections. I'm learning.

Long Beach. Beverly Hills. Pressing on.

Good morning everyone! I'm still in Long Beach at my sister's house. I woke up feeling great. I prayed that self pity demon away and wished my son a happy birthday. I'm doing the best I can and God and Uraeus know that. Tonight he found us a place in Beverly Hills for a couple of nights. He is in charge of picking where we stay and he found a place in Beverly Hills where we can afford so that's where we will be. We can't check in until 6pm though so we may just hang out here. Now I gotta work on this Airbnb for the 16th. God provides.

Bobbie. San Diego. Prayers.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018 Long Beach. Sister's house.

I just got back from taking my aunt home to San Diego. My mother rode with me. It's 1:40am. I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. It won't last long but that's how I feel. Today is Uraeus's 21st birthday and I can't afford to take him out. I've been dreaming about this day for years and now it's here and I barely have enough money for three days in a hotel. I know God provides. I know. I'm just in my feelings. I still don't have the money for the Airbnb stay. I know, God provides. I'm not depressed. I'm just...in my feelings.

I know I'm blessed though. Maybe I don't have anything material to give Uraeus today but I have all the love I have. Everything I have is for him. All the love in me. And he knows it. I pray he has a good day. I don't know what we or he will do but I pray it is something special.

He's sleeping right now on the couch in the living room. I rubbed his back and listened to him breathe a minute, gave thanks for his life and whispered happy birthday to him. I love him so much.

Please keep us in your prayers.

I'm about to take my meds and go to bed. I'm really too tired to dig my pills out of my bag but I'm afraid to miss a day because my mood has been so even lately and I don't want to mess that up. I have enough to be down about and I'm not going to give in to it. I have a lot to be thankful for also. I'm thankful that my son turned 21 today. I'm thankful for my friends and family. For food and shelter. I'm thankful for the peace in my head. I'm thankful for this time I have with my mother sharing a bed and stories with her right now as I type this entry. I am thankful for my meds. Thankful for Uraeus's job interview on Thursday. I am thankful for the peace in my head. I have a lot to be thankful for. Like the song says, "all of my good days outweigh my bad days." I know God as Provider. I know God is faithful.

The old place

He will be 21 tomorrow!

Some of my art