Saturday, September 17, 2011

Gray Saturday morning

Good morning family. My post these days are starting that way, "good morning family" but that's ok because I really mean it. It is a good morning. I am in a good space and I hope that you are too. It's 8:00 and I am watching an infomercial about some omega somethingsomething product and how it healed this woman's daughter's skin "like no medication she's ever been on." I'm watching this because I don't have a remote control for the television in my room. Yes, I admit I have a television in my room and I watch it and leave it on all night sometimes. Omega XL that's what it's called. But this entry is not about my television or Omega XL. But lightweight it is because this entry is about everything in my head.

The sky is gray today and I like that. I hope today will actually be the art day that I plan it to be. I really want to paint today but I may not because I have paint but no canvas and the money at the bottom of my purse needs to go in my gas tank and not on a canvas. Although I do have a dress I intend to paint a mask on. Perhaps I'll do that today.

Dear reader,
Please keep in my that this is my first post of the day and this is the process. There are words and sentences and stuff in my head I don't have words for and they get splattered on this entry like an artist spraying paint on a wall from six feet away. That's how it is the first post of the day. So don't waste your time pulling out your red pen and circle where my thoughts are abstract or out of focus, not on point, away from the topic. Those are comments from all of my writing teachers in elementary and middle school. By high school I learned to keep a journal and keep my creative writing to myself and play the boring writing game my teachers wanted me to play. All it taught me was how to keep the boring big people off of my back.

So you see reader, just bear with me. Or not.

I'm about to get up and showered and dressed and out of this apartment. I see my therapist at 11 but I need to get out of here much earlier than that and take some pictures before the sky changes from this gray I like to something else.

My writing and blogging is stiff because there are things I am keeping to myself. Does that surprise you? That I keep things to myself. Well, I do. There are concerns I don't express, and other relationships that are hands off for the blog. I still have journals. Oh boy do I have journals.

It's time for me to get up. Time on many levels. I'm slipping. My mind is slipping and if I stay in bed it won't be good for me. At all.

I love you. All of you. I do. Know who you are and be a great day today.

Jaha Zainabu

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