I'm not exaggerating! It did really really happen just just like thiiiiiis! It did!

When I'm wired I can't just go straight to bed. I can't. Seriously. I tried it and I stare at the walls and crazy things come into my head. Really crazy. I almost checked myself into the hospital one morning my mind was so looped de looped. So now, when I get home and Love is already in bed I allow time for our connection and then I must write. I have to. Or the words will crawl all over me. They do you know, they grow legs and crawl and then pinch and seep into my skin if I don't. Ok, not really really just like that. But kinda. Shit, I'm blah blah blahing right now. I started this post to tell you what happened tonight. And this did really happen just just like this. Kinda.

I parked down the street and I walked up to the gate and before I got to the gate this six feet two hundred fifty pound raccoon jumped out in front of me like "Where the hell do you think you're going?" I was so scared, I mean, no at first I wasn't scared. At first I was like, "Where the hell do you think I'm going. What? You think 'cause you're all nine feet and three hundred pounds and you're a talking raccoon, then I'm supposed to be scared of you and not go in my home at 11:30 at night?" Then I noticed the raccoon was high on crack and that's when I was scared. But it wasn't until I noticed the crack pipe in his pocket that I got scared. Anyway, I called Love like a hundred thousand times but he didn't answer the phone because he was sleep. But that's cool because I know he loves me so much and the raccoon was lucky Love was asleep or he would have come out with a forty feet long knife that we keep under the stove. Whatever. I punched the racoon in the face as hard as I could and ran in up the stairs. Seriously. That's how it happened.

(Exept it was three hundred fifty pounds and six feet tall. For real.)