THE NIKEL chapter 31

Obrey sat there on the rocks at Zuma Beach with much on her mind. She had Jewel and a baby on the way. When Mama Rosa said she would be a mother soon she thought she was talking about Jewel. Since she and Amad had been together Jewel spent more time at her place with her and Davis than she did with him. He usually worked nights, she loved being there and they loved having her so they just changed the upstairs office into her room.

She didn’t know she meant Jewel and a new baby. She was sick all of the time. She guessed it was normal and this wasn’t supposed to last the whole pregnancy but it was hard for her.

She didn’t even know she could get pregnant. In fact she was told that she couldn’t by her doctor four years ago. After that she and Amad took HIV/AIDS test and both tested negative. They stopped using condoms.

She shouldn’t have let it happen but there was one night she was with Life and things went too far. The truth is, she didn’t know whose baby she was carrying. She hasn’t spoken with Life since his accident. After meeting Saundra she knew she didn’t want to hurt her anymore or complicate Life’s life. She knew that he should at least know that he may be the father to her child but she was not ready for that. Willow told her that when Life got out of the hospital he broke off with his label and was planning to move back home to Florida. She also said that he and Saundra split up. Obrey wasn’t sure how permanent that split would last. She could tell that he really loves her and Obrey knew that Saundra loved him. But who knows. Every woman decides when enough is enough. Saundra’s pregnant. Obrey and River are first cousins and she told her. River had no idea of what was going on with her and Life and Obrey didn’t know she knew Saundra. Small world.

Obrey didn’t want to even think about telling Amad. She was still angry with him for getting into such a stupid scheme with Malik. Of all the times to say “I told you so,” she didn’t want to be as right about him as she was. She asked Mama Rosa whether or not she and Amad should get married and she said he would be leaving her. By that she didn’t think she meant he would be going away for ten years. Ten years. They took one look at him. A black man from South Central who had done a year for possession of drugs and that was all they needed to know. They didn’t care that the prior was when he was eighteen he had given his aunt a ride to the store and she stashed it under his seat. When he got pulled over a day later the cops searched his car and there it was.

Mama Rosa’s spiritual advice to Obrey was to resolve her relationship with her father. She said that was why she pushed men, especially good men like Amad away. She was right about that. After a seven year old girl overhears her father try to get out of paying a gambling debt by offering his daughter, she doesn’t feel worthy of any mans love. That he was drunk didn’t make any difference. As far as her reconciling, that’s something she will have to do by herself. After Mama found out she kicked him out of the house and told him that if he ever came anywhere near them she would have him killed. He left and moved down south somewhere. Two years later he was killed in a bar fight. Mama didn’t have anything to do with that.

It’s all gonna take time. Obrey accepted things as they were and her only plans are to keep on moving on. She can hear her mother telling her to keep breathing. Keep breathing.