A poem a day for 2013 - day 22 - Dear Jaha

Loving yourself is showing up in the world as your word
As your commitment to family art justice
It is knowing that love matters
Your love matters
Your words
Your hugs and hellos

It is not being swallowed by the headlines of the day
Even today when
White Mississippi teen runs over black man for fun, police say it's not a hate crime
Even on days when the thing of the day seems bigger than you
When you cannot manage the lows or come down from the highs
Loving yourself is forcing your feet to stop moving
Your knees to bend
Your body to still
Allowing yourself to be 
As the ugliest of moments wash over your head

I do not know that the waters will not drown you
Every episode will not end well
I promise

Only this is true
A lifetime of last times until the next time
And deciding in every right now
To choose love

Loving yourself is knowing that
Your love is powerful enough to hold itself up

Loving yourself is using your hands to serve someone else
What did you do today
How did you show up in the world so that someone else is better
A better that matters and makes a difference
In the world
On your block
In the car at the stop light next to you

Did you hold a hand
Did you give a heart
Love yourself enough to reach down past your words
And give your whole heart beating
To at least one someone
Did you listen to a story or blow a nose
Did you let a stranger share her god with you
O Jaha that is the best
Watch her face rainbow after the telling of each blessing
Did you unbusy your moment long enough 
To hear him say I love you
Did you see his shoulders fall
Be brave enough to wait for shoulders to fall before you turn away

Loving yourself is being committed to someone else's win
It is knowing when enough is enough and when time to rest
To let love fill itself up again in you

Loving yourself is giving it away
It is knowing that your whole life
Everything you know
And everything you don't
All that you have forgiven
And everything you hold
Is now
And now again

To love yourself is to know 
That life is only right now
And everything you carry into the next right now
Is everything you carry
Into the next right now