No Beverly Hills. Dietra. Pizzas.

Well we didn't end up staying at the hotel in Beverly Hills. The room was affordable but the security deposit was a million dollars (kind of). And we already booked the room so we have to wait to get it back.

Also, my uncle died. Uncle John Davis. He died on my son's birthday. His death hit me hard. While I was dealing with that Uraeus jokingly (bug not) said "well we can sleep in the car." My heart broke into a million pieces that this is where we are.

I called Dietra and she offered us space in her house again. God is still faithful. We showed up with a couple of pizzas and now we're getting ready for tomorrow. Uraeus has an interview tomorrow so pray saints.
Keep us both in your prayers.

Love yourselves.

Uraeus's birthday!

It's 5:04pm and we are about to leave Long Beach. We had a good day. My mom, Uraeus and I went to PF Chang's and celebrated his birthday. I thought he would order a drink for the first time but he didn't. That might be something he does with his father. A man to man thing. Well he's in the car now so we're about to head off. Please keep us in your prayers.

Love yourselves.

Special note

I am typing these posts on my phone and can hardly see the little print so please excuse any errors because I can't seem to get back into the post from my phone and make corrections. I'm learning.

Long Beach. Beverly Hills. Pressing on.

Good morning everyone! I'm still in Long Beach at my sister's house. I woke up feeling great. I prayed that self pity demon away and wished my son a happy birthday. I'm doing the best I can and God and Uraeus know that. Tonight he found us a place in Beverly Hills for a couple of nights. He is in charge of picking where we stay and he found a place in Beverly Hills where we can afford so that's where we will be. We can't check in until 6pm though so we may just hang out here. Now I gotta work on this Airbnb for the 16th. God provides.

Bobbie. San Diego. Prayers.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018 Long Beach. Sister's house.

I just got back from taking my aunt home to San Diego. My mother rode with me. It's 1:40am. I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. It won't last long but that's how I feel. Today is Uraeus's 21st birthday and I can't afford to take him out. I've been dreaming about this day for years and now it's here and I barely have enough money for three days in a hotel. I know God provides. I know. I'm just in my feelings. I still don't have the money for the Airbnb stay. I know, God provides. I'm not depressed. I'm just...in my feelings.

I know I'm blessed though. Maybe I don't have anything material to give Uraeus today but I have all the love I have. Everything I have is for him. All the love in me. And he knows it. I pray he has a good day. I don't know what we or he will do but I pray it is something special.

He's sleeping right now on the couch in the living room. I rubbed his back and listened to him breathe a minute, gave thanks for his life and whispered happy birthday to him. I love him so much.

Please keep us in your prayers.

I'm about to take my meds and go to bed. I'm really too tired to dig my pills out of my bag but I'm afraid to miss a day because my mood has been so even lately and I don't want to mess that up. I have enough to be down about and I'm not going to give in to it. I have a lot to be thankful for also. I'm thankful that my son turned 21 today. I'm thankful for my friends and family. For food and shelter. I'm thankful for the peace in my head. I'm thankful for this time I have with my mother sharing a bed and stories with her right now as I type this entry. I am thankful for my meds. Thankful for Uraeus's job interview on Thursday. I am thankful for the peace in my head. I have a lot to be thankful for. Like the song says, "all of my good days outweigh my bad days." I know God as Provider. I know God is faithful.

The old place

He will be 21 tomorrow!

Some of my art

Janice. Song. God.

My aunt Janice just sent me such a beautiful song / testimony. Tamala Mann is singing the song and I think it's called God provides. I totally relate to the lyrics. God does provide. Just in time. There are times I wish God would come through sooner but it's my job to that God is always there. It is my job to trust. I trust and believe.

Granny. Dietra's. San Diego.

 Tuesday, November 13, 2018 Inglewood. Dietra's house.

I'm taking care of Dietra's grandmother this morning because D is not feeling well. I don't go in to work until 4 so I have time. So far I'm just scheduled to work today but I hope that changes because I want to get the money for the Airbnb I want to take Uraeus to. It will be a better place than we have been plus it will be cheaper than any hotel we have stayed in. And I want something really nice for his birthday. The Airbnb will be available to us on the 16th for a week. I'm hoping.

My uncle Therman left this morning haeaded back to Vegas. I miss him already. We always have the best conversations and he and Uraeus are also close.

I take my aunt Bobbie back to San Diego tonight when I get off. That's a lot of driving. We will have a good conversation on the way down there and I'll get some good thinking in on the way back by myself.

Grandma is resting now so I'm going to also.

Love yourselves.

Long Beach. Bakersfield. Prayer request.

8:52pm. Long Beach. Sister's house.

It's been a long weekend. My mom's birthday party on Sunday went well. Then Red Stories that night went really well. I'm happy about both of those things. Michelle surprised me by being there then V surprised me. It was a great crowd. Big Arch was a great feature.

Today my mom and my aunt Bobbie, my uncle Therman and I went to Bakersfield to see the model of the house my mom is going to buy next year. It was my first time seeing it, I loved it.

But back to this year and what's going on right now, Uraeus and I are still hotel hopping. A friend of mine owns an Airbnb and we plan to be there next week but I still have to come up with some more money.  This life is getting tiring but we are surviving.

Tonight we will be at my sister's house because I have to pick up my aunt from her friend's house in Long Beach. I'm taking her to San Diego after I get off work tomorrow night.

I request your prayers. Coming up with hotel money week to week is draining and managing to stay sane and not fall into a depressive episode is miracle. I thank God so much though. Every night we eat. Every night we have shelter. We have each other. We have the love of family and friends. I believe with all my heart that this phase will pass soon. God is faithful.

I have to be up early so I'm going to get some sleep.

Love yourselves.

Move. Hollywood. Plan.

It's been a while since my last entry. When I left off we were moving. We moved. We stayed with my friend Dietra and her son for about a week. Well Uraeus was there for a week I went to Ohio to perform at the installation service of Valerie Bridgeman. It was lovely. I came back and Uraeus and I left the next day for a hotel. We stayed at a place in Hollywood. A nice place thankfully. I had to work every day but I enjoyed the time I was there. I'm being quick here because I lost the power cord to my computer so I am borrowing my mom's right now. We are in Long Beach. After we left Hollywood we went to a place in L.A. near USC. That was a nice place too. God is faithful. Today we are going back to the place in Hollywood until Sunday. My mother's birthday party is Sunday and so is Red Stories. The plan is still to get Uraeus a room for rent by the end of the month. God willing, that will happen. Until then, keep us in your prayers.

Love yourselves.