THE NIKEL chapter 16

Amad sat at the kitchen table in his apartment as he thought and drank a beer. The lights were very dim as he replayed a phone message from Obrey.

"Amad, I miss you. I miss us. I love you, but not like this. I feel so far from you. It's not just you. This hot and cold then hot then cold again we keep doing is making me dizzy. We need to talk. I can't stand it. One minute it's so good and then the very next, I don't know. Anyway, Jewel is with Davis at a baby shower. They may be out late so I'll bring her up in the morning if you want me to. Or she can just stay. Amad, I do love you, ok. Just, something is wrong and I'm kinda scared. Love you, call me.

He threw the phone and watched it hit the wall. Watched the battery separate itself from the receiver, ricotche off the wall and find rest somewhere under the couch. Amad was in no hurry to mend teh phone. No hurry to call Obrey. He sat there at his table and drand his beer and remembered that his father used to tell him to control what he could control. He was tired of her mood swings. Tired of trying to make it work. Tired of dodging her questions about him and Malik. What difference did it make anyway? She would benefit. He wasn't cheating. Wasn't abusing her. He was more than just not abusing her. He loved her.

(I'm good to her. Fucking good to her. I give her everything I have. If she wants more, if she aint satisfied then she can go get what she wants from someplace else. Fuck it. I can't do this shit no more.)