The moment

The other day I was triggered by something and than later that evening I emotionally dumped on a friend. A friend I don't really have that kind of relationship with. And this free write is about that I guess. Anyway I brought up old junk from the past that I should have left back there. See the thing about junk is that sometimes the junk is junkier to the listener than is is to the teller. See, the teller has seen the junk before and is not surprised by it. Like the way the hoarder thinks his mess is sorta kinda organized and everyone else is just making too big a deal out of the shit.

Well, I'm not there anymore and needed the space to melt down and alone would have been better but... Anyway I saw her later and tried to say hey look I'm sorry for dumping but I don't think it was received and so now I feel a way that someone I didn't want to see some private shit saw.

And this is where trust comes in I suppose. Like this is where I trust her to know I am human being like the rest of us and sometimes we crack a little. Some more than others. And she trusts me to know that I'm ok. Like I'm ok You're ok.

What a life, you know. There are up days and down days but in the end I exhale with my own loving arms around me, appreciating that "I wouldn't take nothin' for my journey now."