Black women like me

I have conversations with memories of ex lovers
Perhaps more often than is healthy
But the words know they are important
And I will not be healed until they come swimming out like fish

I am still using fake names to protect the guilty

I am still appalled at Robert who wanted me to suck his herpes dick and then got mad when I said no
Because who am I but a regular black woman
And black women like me know we better be lucky
We know we better know how to cook like his mama
We know we better like his mama

He said I wasn't bringing enough to the table and I didn't even have a college degree
I needed a better job and my car got repossessed

Regular black women like me know
We better pay our bills on time
We know we better have enough for him to hold

Thomas told me I had a pretty face but he perferred mixed girls and he liked a big ass but not one as big as mine

I told Eddie about the preacher who used to kiss me with his tongue when I was a little girl
He said that was a good story but it wasn't true

Who believes black women
Why is it so hard
My jouranls and blogs are thick with questions

Kieth told me he didn't like the texture of my hair or how silly I acted when I was with my best friend

By the time Lonnie showed up I didn't know how to deal with a good man
I didn't understand a man who wanted to know my stories
Wanted to hold my hand
What was I supposed to do
Believe him?

Black women like me know we better get over it
We know we better snap out of it
We know we better keep private business private

But what about black women like me who haven't forgotten
Who are poets
Who still love black men
Who still have stories to tell