Sitting today

9:45am. Palmdale. No appetite today. For some reason the thought of food makes me gag. Especially food I used to enjoy the most. Eggs. I've always loved egg sandwiches. Last week at my client's home I made one for myself and the smell and taste made me nauseous. I could barely finish it. Yesterday I made some noodles and the after taste was horrible. I've been drinking water. Maybe today I'll have fruit.

I have an art show on Saturday but I have no energy to work on more art. Or write. Or walk. Or anything really. I was crying uncontrollably yesterday and thankfully that has stopped, or at least paused.

I have a busy week scheduled for next week with clients. I'll be doing overnights with one client almost every day in addition to my regular day shifts with him. I'm trying to rest and mentally prepare for that. I just feel...down. I feel low.

When I can do it I'm going to go to another mental health facility. I don't want to go back to the one I had been going to. I felt unsupported by the case worker and doctor I had. I went through the process of changing doctors years ago and I don't want to do it again. I just want a change. I found a 24 hour facility in the valley I think I will go to. Not now though. Now I am going to sit on this couch until I can gather enough energy to take a shower. Have a good day. Really. Really try.