Good day / My message to you

3:11pm. Work.

This is a beautiful day and I feel wonderfully even and clear.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend who told me that a friend of his was reading my blog because she has had similar "sinking" feelings and low and high moments and felt that something was wrong. This is what I have to say about that: Please see a doctor. Please please do not diagnose yourself based on anything I say or any of my experiences. What I have learned on this journey is that each person has her own unique experiences. I've read other people's stories about being bipolar and some I could totally relate to, some were pretty similar to mine and others I didn't see myself in at all. I have said a kagillion times on this blog that I AM NO DOCTOR. I only write my experiences. I know that I was greatly helped when I read other people's stories and that is one of the reasons I speak so openly about mine. Reading other stories helped me feel like there were others who felt like I did. It helped me give vocabulary to feelings I couldn't articulate before. It also gave me the courage I needed to seek professional help from a therapist and eventually doctors in a hospital.

There is such a negative stigma on mental illness. There are many different kinds of mental illnesses. Often when people think of mentally ill people, they think of people who cannot function without the constant assistance of someone else. That is not always the case. As I researched and read other stories I noticed many people who were very much like me. People who worked, had children, hobbies, responsibilities, active in their communities. Just, they, like me, have highs and lows they have to deal with. I have been coping with this imbalance since I was in middle school only I didn't know it. I knew I had weird feelings but none I could explain so I didn't say anything and brushed them under my emotional rug along with sex abuse and other junk I couldn't handle. I found ways to cope.

So, dear reader, there is no one mental illness and no one face to it. Again and a million times again, if you have found yourself in my stories and have feelings you can't explain and need help dealing with them, please seek assistance.

Love to you