Paper (1) Ginger

My mama named me Ginger because she said I was a clean slate. A new chapter. She ate a lot of sushi when she was pregnant with me. That's what you do, I think, with sushi. You eat ginger to clean your taste buds when you try a new fish or something like that I heard. I'm not much of a sushi eater. But I like the name ok. Ginger. I like it ok enough to keep it. In the early nineties when my friends were taking on African and other created names like Shabazz and Future and Dream I was cool with Ginger.

I been driving around picking up and dropping off product. It's just after eight and I'm finally home. I'm kind of like a knick knack lady. I have a good eye for funky things and sometimes I spruce 'em up a little. Like I might find an old clay vase at a thrift store or something. I'll pick it up if it's in good shape and take it home and add some umph to it like a little abstract design or touch it up with some paint here and there. Purses are my thing though. I go all over and find old purses and sometimes I spruce them up too. I sell my stuff on Facebook, Instagram, Etsy, out my truck. Sometimes I vend at some of the Farmer's Markets around town. Not too much these days though since COVID. Slowly things are opening back up but shit I got so used to doin' without 'em I'm happier on my own. Tell the truth I don't miss all that settin' up and takin' down and paying booth fees and barely breaking even. I'm good on my own. Business wise that is. My personal life is a different story.

Don't get me wrong now, ain't nobody singing no sad love songs over here. I love having my own space. Ain't nothin' like it. I have a niece who stays with me part time. Part time with me, part time with her boyfriend. I'm about to put an end to all the in and out though. She twenty-six and it's about time she got her living shit together. She my heart though. Her mama died when she was only seven and she been with me since then. Where else was she gon go? Her mama, Ray was my big sister. Ray was adopted when she was in the womb. Doctors always told my mama she couldn't have kids of her own and Ray's mom and my mom used to work together at the phone company. Ray's mom was only a baby herself when she got pregnant by a married man whose last name she never knew. She wanted to have an abortion but my mom and dad said they would take the baby and they did. They did good by her too. Three years later as life and luck would have it, my mama got pregnant with me. My dad always suspected I wasn't really his but he never got no test or nothin' like that though. He used to say all the time though, "You ain't my blood but you my baby." That's a fucked up thing to say to a child all her life but, you know, family. He always favored my sister Ray over me though. Her mama was Mexican and her daddy was Black and you know how some men are about a biracial bitch with straight hair and brown skin. I ain't no mixed chick. Don't get it twisted though. I love all this good chocolate. Love this wild kinky hair, these big ass lips and every other black ass thing on my black ass body. Fergi look a lot like her mama. Her hair is real curly though and skin a lot darker but she sure is her mama's child. I wish Ray could see her now. When I got in tonight I saw her computer and her big bag is gone so I guess her and Clark back cool. Whatever. If she like it I love it. She about to make a choice though. Fuck all this in and out shit lettin' in all the goddamn flies.

First thing I do when I get in my place is turn the air on. L.A. been hot thanna mug the past two weeks. I let it blow for maybe an hour then crank these fans up. DWP ain't gon take all my money. Damn I'm tired. Been working like a runaway and seem like the end of the month comin' faster than my money. It's all good though. This bitch gon be straight. With the bills that is. Been kinda missin' male energy though. You know? Not dick. This bitch find dick. But...you know...a nigga sittin' up with me, talkin', watchin' Hulu and eatin' pizza or listenin' to a book or just lookin' at the fuckin' walls together. FUCK! This bitch got friends, don't trip. Good male friends too but sometimes you want a dude that think you sexy next to you on yo couch. You know? It's cool though. You know? This bitch gon be ok. This bitch good.