Angry

I am an angry black woman
My face gets tense
My jaws tighten
My eyes squint

I am a mother praying my son comes home every time he leaves the house
Praying I return to him every time I get pulled over
Praying my doctor believes me when I sit in front of him
I am always praying
Praying my prayers mean something
Praying I won't do something crazy
Praying anger is not all you see

I am an angry, happy black woman
Can a black woman be angry and happy at the same time
Can I love the God in my heart and hate the injustice in the world
The hate in the world
A government that would have children in cages in the world
That there are women missing in the world
Dirty cops in the world

I surprise myself with the smile I have
At my son's intelligence and jokes
At the ducks in the pond
The morning sun
All the trees
A grilled cheese

I am an angry, peaceful black woman
Did you know a black woman could be angry and peaceful at the same time
Did you know I could work every day and love my life
And write poetry and stories about beautiful black children

It is hard to hold on sometimes
I don't want to be angry you know
Don't want to be loud or all frowned up
Too bad that is the only way you will hear me
Too bad your fear keeps you from my beauty
Too bad your laws keep me unsafe

I am not angry for no reason you know
These scars are not for nothing you know

Watch me keep fighting
Watch me keep standing
Watch me keep changing the world
With anger and peace and love and rage all balled in this beautiful
Fist